Justified

Author: brionycain Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. Never did. Rating: R Feedback: yes, I need to know if I should go on. Summary: Set after Angel Season 3 Finale Tomorrow. My version of Deep Down. Authors Note: This is my answer to Soulaguk's challenge. I will post it at the end. This is beta'd by Scarlett. Distribution: If you want it, okay. Just let me know where. Pairings: All of them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 1

Wesley could not believe the sight before him when he opened the metal box. Angel had been at the bottom of the ocean for three months and he looked ghastly. Vampires could go for long periods of time without feeding but the lack of blood affects their system. Bouts of pain, hallucinations, eventually they would be insane. Justine leaned over to look at Angel laughing.

"I think you waited too long to save your friend here."

Wesley ignored her taking in Angel's physical state. "He needs blood."

"I am not feeding that thing, she cried.

"I would not let you, snapped Wesley angrily, "you think your worthy to be his meal you're blood is too thin anyway."

He reached into a cooler withdrawing several bags of blood and began to feed them to Angel one by one. The vampire was so weak he had to punch a hole in one corner and then let it drain into his mouth. He looked like a skeleton. His hair was pasted to his skull and his skin was almost translucent stretched over his face and body. His eyes were dead and cold as if the soul no longer inhabited the body.

"He isn't getting better fast enough. This pig's blood isn't going to work." He pulled a knife out of his pocket as Justine screamed.

"You can't just feed me to that thing. He is evil don't you get that."

Wesley grabbed her up by the hair and shook her forcibly.

"Oh I could slit your throat and let him have you but I won't. I will do better by you than you did to me. Now shut up and get the hell out of my way, he said throwing her down.

He pushed back his shirt sleeve and displayed his own arm slicing a gash in his forearm. He held his dripping arm over Angel's mouth and the vampire began to drink in this rich warm blood. The two humans watched as Angel's body began to heal in front of them. His skin lost some of its pallor and his eyes began to focus. He glanced at Justine for a moment and then came to rest on Wesley. He grabbed him by the throat and began to choke him as Wesley fought him back. Angel was too weak to do much damage as Wesley was able to back away. He covered him with a blanket. "Soon, my former friend, you will be home soon."

The A.I. team sat in the lobby in shock. Wesley had called saying he had found Angel. After three months Angel was coming home.

"But where has he been, Cordelia asked Fred, you talked to Wesley. What did he say?"

"He didn't give me any details. All he said was he had found Angel and for us to wait here. Gunn and Connor don't know yet. They aren't back from patrol. Won't Connor be glad he's dad is safe." She hugged herself excitedly. "Everything's going to be okay now, don't you think."

"Oh my God, cried Cordelia, "Angel." She ran to help Wesley as he had chose that moment to come in the door with the starved vampire. "Wesley, help me set him on the sofa."

"Where did you find him?" Fred was sobbing at the sight of Angel. He was still pasty, his eyes were closed and she wasn't sure if there was even an Angel in his body anymore.

Wesley turned to the sound of the front door opening as Connor and Gunn stepped into the lobby. Gunn looked surprised and then raced over to Angel.

"What the Hell happened to him?"

Wesley straightened up to face the teenager standing by the door staring at his father on the couch.

"You know what happened don't you boy? Is this what you wanted? No, of course it isn't. You didn't plan on anyone ever finding him, did you?"

"Wesley, shouted Cordelia, what are you talking about? Connor didn't do this. He wouldn't hurt his own father."

"Oh yes he would, he said still not taking his eyes from the defiant teenager. "Tell them how you welded your father in a metal box and dropped him into the ocean. You didn't want to kill him. You just wanted him to suffer. All for something he didn't do you stupid little bastard. Your friend Justine is back at the pier where the two of you dumped Angel. Why don't you ask her who really killed Holtz? Ask her if she enjoyed sticking the ice pick in his neck so you would think Angel had done it."

Connor looks at him surprised. "Even if he didn't he still deserved it. He's a monster, an animal."

"And how soon before we deserved it, asked Fred. "He is your father. How could you do that to him?"

"That thing is not my father."

"Yes, he is, said Gunn quietly. "He's all you have. Your just too full of hate to realize that now."

"I don't need him. I don't need any of you."

Fred advanced toward him tazer in hand. "Good, then get the Hell out of here."

Connor went out the door quickly. The others stood there for a moment staring at Angel passed out on the couch. Fred walked over to him looking down at him.

"What do we do now? Wesley, where are you going?"

The others turned to see Wesley standing on the landing. "I'm done here.' He looked at Cordelia. "He'll need more blood. I'm fresh out."

She came to him. "Why didn't you tell us about Conner? You knew and you didn't tell us."

"You're human. He wouldn't have hurt you. I thought you were safer not knowing."

"We were safer, Fred cried, "You really don't care anymore, do you?"

"You have no idea what I care about." He turned to the door and Gunn could see the bandage on his arm where he had fed Angel his blood.

Gunn and Fred stood over Angel's bed watching the vampire lying there. "Fred, said Gunn, "he isn't getting any better. He's still unconscious and he still looks like hell. I know we keep feeding him but he isn't getting any better."

Fred wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest. "I know but what do we do? I wish Cordy would get back."

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know. She just said she had to run an errand and she would be back soon."

She leaned over Angel's bed to wipe his face with the warm cloth. "He hasn't opened his eyes. Not once since Wesley brought him home two days ago. What if he never wakes up?"

"He will. We just have to keep hoping that he will."

Wesley grabbed his shirt and went to answer the knock at his door. Cordelia stood on the other side a look of concern on her face.

"What is it, he asked.

"You know what it is. He hasn't come to yet. I need you to come back to the hotel with me. I need you to help me help him."

"I don't think there is anything I can do for him. I brought him back to you. It's all up to you now."

"Wesley this is Angel we are talking about. He was your friend don't you remember? We were all your friends."

"Sometimes friends can be highly overrated. I have learned I can't count on them."

Cordelia flinched at this statement. "Please Wesley I am begging you." She started to cry. "I don't know how to help him. Just see him, please."

He buttoned up his shirt and grabbed his keys. "Okay, I'll come with you but I don't know that I can do anything for you or him."

Cordelia hurriedly pushed the door to the hotel open to and moved to allow Wesley inside. Fred came down the stairs and stared at them open mouthed.

"Why did you bring him back here? He doesn't care about Angel or any of us."

"Not now Fred, snapped Cordy hurrying Wesley upstairs. "We have to do something for Angel and Wesley is going to help."

Gunn moved away from the bed as the former Watcher entered. They watched as he leaned over the ailing vampire and looked him over closely. "When is the last time you fed him?"

"Right before I came to see you. He just lies there. He doesn't move. Why isn't he getting any better?"

"Maybe he was down there too long. But I don't think so. He's fed. He should have been okay by now."

"Hey, said Gunn, "maybe he needs like a shot of super blood or something like that." He looked at Cordelia. "What about when he was real bad before and you were telling me that the Slayer gave him some of her blood? You know that Buffy chick?"

"No, Cordelia returned angrily, "we are not calling her. Do not say her name. He might hear you," she said indicating the vampire on the bed.

"It seems he has already heard something, said Wesley dryly, his eyes are open."

Angel could hear voices around him as he came to. He tried to move but found he couldn't. He ached everywhere. His arms, his legs, his body, even his teeth ached. He opened his eyes to see the people talking over him. One man was talking, talking about him. Saying something about blood and a name, Buffy. Something triggered inside him. Buffy, that name should mean something. The woman was angry now. Not calling her. Don't say her name. A man was leaning over him, looking down at him.

"So you've decided to wake up, said Wesley. "How are you doing?"

Angel struggled to say something but his mouth didn't want to move. He managed to make a sound inside his head but it wouldn't come to his lips.

"Angel, said the woman, can you hear me?"

He stared at her. She was pretty in the face but she had this light colored hair that looked strange to him.

"Hey man, said the other man the one who had been talking before. "Good to have you back. We thought you were a goner."

He heard a shriek and jumped as a little woman with dark hair grabbed him by the shirt. "Angel, Angel."

He jumped at her touch and flinched as she grabbed at him. Wesley sensed Angel's unease and pulled Fred away.

"Calm down, Fred. You have startled him." He leaned again over Angel. Their eyes met and Wes saw only confusion there. He looked to the others.

"Everyone be quiet for a moment." He turned back to the vampire lying before him. "Angel, he received only a blank stare in return. This doesn't too look good thought Wesley.

"If I ask you some questions can you answer me? I will ask you something you blink once for no and two times for yes. Can you do that?" The vampire blinked twice for yes. "That's good. Do you know who you are?" Angel looked at him for a moment and blinked once. "No, said Wesley. "Your name is Angel. Do you know who I am?" Angel blinked once confused.

"Okay, do you know anyone in this room?" He moved over to let Angel look at everyone. He blinked no.

"This can't be happening, whispered Cordy softly. Wesley went on. "Angel, do you know where you are?" Once again he blinked no. Gunn touched Wesley on the shoulder. "Maybe we should let him rest for a while."

"One more question. Angel, do you know what you are?"

Angel just stared at him confused. He didn't understand what he meant by that. "I think we have our answer, said Wesley. "Now let us all leave him alone. He needs rest." He ushered the others out of the room down the stairs to the lobby.

"Give me a minute. I want to check something." He went back into Angel's room. The vampire was still laying there his eyes open as Wesley once more leaned over him.

"Angel, I am sorry but I have one more question for you." He leaned over to whisper, "Buffy, do you recognize the name Buffy." The vampire didn't blink and for a moment Wesley thought he was confused again. Then one solitary tear formed at the corner of Angel's eye and ran down the side of his cheek.

"It's okay. I will get her here for you one way or another."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 2

Rating: PG in this part.

Wesley walked down the stairs of the hotel a slight smile played on his lips. This was interesting he thought to himself. Angel has no idea who he is. He didn't know who anyone was, but Wesley had seen something in his eyes when Gunn had mentioned Buffy, so he had played his hunch and he had been right. The vampire might be suffering from amnesia but he still held some memories of his past. Or maybe it was something else, but his reaction to her name could not be mistaken. Maybe Buffy was the one to help Angel. Wesley knew Cordelia wouldn't hear of it if he mentioned it so he would have to work this carefully.

"Wes, Wes, the fake blonde said, "Did you find anything? You said you were going to check something."

"No, no I didn't. I suggest you continue to keep an eye on him and feed him regularly. We will just have to give it time I think. What do you have there?" he said noticing she was frowning over a letter that was addressed to Angel.

"Of all the things. No, she smirked, " this might be a good thing. The prison wanted to let Angel know Faith is getting out the end of the week. It seems he wanted to be notified when she was released. Well, with him under the weather and all he won't be there when she gets out now will he?" She turned and tossed the letter in the trash. "All she's good for is trouble and we don't need a Slayer around here. Either of them." She headed for the kitchen turning her back to Wesley who quickly snatched the letter and slipped it into his pocket. He followed behind the jealous woman. This could only get better he thought.

Buffy sat at the kitchen counter sipping from her cup of coffee. The house was quiet as Dawn and Willow weren't awake yet. She had gotten up earlier than usual which was unusual for her. She still seemed to come alive after sundown. All these years of slaying the vampires and demons around the Hellmouth had turned her into a true creature of the night. She had learned how to use the shadows to her advantage during the hunt. She yawned and rose on the tips of her toes to stretch her tiny frame to its full length. Her solitude was shattered, by the ringing of the telephone. She snatched it up quickly, so as to not wake anyone else at this hour. She looked at the clock on the wall. She couldn't fathom who would be calling at this time of the morning as it was just after six.

"Hello"

"Buffy, this is Buffy right?"

"Yes, this is Buffy. Who is this?"

"Buffy this is Wesley Wyndham-Price. I am in Sunnydale and I need to see you."

"Wait a minute. I know Wesley and this does not sound like Wesley to me."

"Buffy it is me and I will explain when I see you. Can you meet me for breakfast in say about an hour?"

"What is going on Wes? Is something wrong in Los Angeles? Giles told me you were working with Angel." She felt a panic rise inside her. "Is something wrong with Angel? Or Cordelia?" A fear spread thorough her like ice. She gasped, "It's Angel, isn't it"

"Buffy, meet me at the Espresso Pump in an hour and I will tell you everything then." Buffy sat by the phone stunned. Something was wrong with Angel. She knew it. She could feel it. After all these years she could feel him again. She reached for his bite scar on her neck. She could feel him and he was in pain. Wesley was surprised to find her already setting in the coffee shop waiting for him when he got there half an hour later. He had planned to be early so he could figure out how to convince her to come to back to L.A. with him. He saw the frantic look on her face as she sat at the table if front of him stirring a hole in her cup of coffee. She had thrown on some jeans and a t- shirt and her hair was pulled back in a damp ponytail. The old Buffy would have never let herself be seen like this in public. He could also see she had matured in other ways. She no longer looked like the school girl, but then he had to remind himself she was Cordelia's age. Her eyes were still bright but she had shadows under them and he could see she was tired. Her hands were clenched into fists and he knuckles were white as she waited for him to set down.

"Tell me, it's Angel isn't it? What has happened to him?" Her eyes were wet and she looked about to cry. She blinked away the beginnings of tears and leaned across the table. "Tell me now."

Wesley studied her face for a moment. She was still in love with the vampire. Even after all these years. He had wondered at the bond between them on more than one occasion. He had seen Angel in his solitude when he was missing the little blonde, the pain on his face evident in his features. Wesley had made light of Angel's feelings for her the last time he had seen her after her friends brought her back from the dead. He felt ashamed by it now.

He blinked from his reverie to see her still watching him. Waiting for the news that would surely break her heart again. He breathed deeply and patted her hand. "Buffy something has happened to Angel. He has been badly hurt and he needs your help. I don't think anyone else can reach him." He went on to relate the entire ugly tale of how he had been attacked, imprisoned and left to suffer. He told her of how he had found him and brought him home. He related the condition he was in now.

"Who did this to him and have you killed them, she almost growled at him. "If you haven't then just tell me where to find them." Her anger was apparent as her body shook with rage.

"Buffy you don't understand I can't punish the person who did this. Angel would truly never forgive me." She looked at him confused. "It was Connor who did this, Angel's son." Buffy was still in shock. Angel had a son, a teenage son at that. Wesley had tried to be as thorough as he could in his explanation of Connor to Buffy. It was hard to fathom how he had ever been born. He had explained about his part in the kidnapping, the false prophecy, Angel's relationship to Holtz and the latter's demise at the hands of Justine. She had set there taking it all in her eyes never leaving his as he spoke. He had hesitated to study her for a moment. She was a beautiful woman. Her hair was a little darker than when she was in school but he liked it immensely. Her skin had a golden hue that showed around the neckline of her shirt. She was petite, tiny really and if he hadn't seen her in action he never would have imagined the strength she held in her small frame. She raised her cup to her lips and he realized she hadn't said a word during his entire exchange. She raised her hand to her brow to push her hair away from her eyes. "Wesley I don't really think there is anything I can do for him. He has you, Cordelia and the others there. He doesn't need me. I don't see how I could help him right now."

Wesley sat back in his chair. She looked away from him and down at her hands. He reached for them causing her to look up at him. "Buffy, I am going to tell you this because it is important. Its true Angel doesn't know who he is or who any of us are but he also doesn't know what he is. What is to stop him from getting up and walking out the door because he doesn't know he can't?"

"All of you will be there to watch him. Angel is strong and I'm sure you can help him get better soon."

He released her hands and reached across the table to grab her shoulders. She was surprised as he pulled her in close to him and looked her in the eyes.

"Answer me this then. Angel hasn't any memory of anyone, or anything. But I looked into his eyes and asked him about you. He can't speak right now but he can cry. One single tear, Buffy, all for you. If he doesn't need you why would he cry for you?" He released her and she slumped back in her chair. She covered her face with her hand. Small sobs began to escape, and her shoulders trembled. He came around the table to hold her. He hugged her tightly as she pulled herself together.

"I thought he had forgotten me, she whispered.

"Not in a million years, I don't believe he ever could. "Will you come? Will you help him?"

He watched her as she pushed her hair back and sighed loudly.

"I can leave tonight."

"Why wait until tonight?"

"I need to bring Spike with me." It was just after sundown when Buffy left for L.A., Spike in the seat next to her. The newly souled vampire hadn't wanted to come, and Wesley had been very skeptical regarding his presence. She had explained part of the circumstances of his having his soul returned, and countered with if they had any trouble with Angel then Spike could help with the muscle. Wesley had agreed, but had not been happy about it. He then left for L.A. giving her his cell number. She was to call when she reached town and he knew he had to hurry. Wesley had some preparations to make before Buffy arrived. She drove along the highway deep in thought. Spike hadn't said anything since they had left, but appeared asleep. All she had told Willow was Angel needed her help in L.A. and she was going to be gone for a few days. She noticed her roommate hadn't been really surprised. She had even readily agreed to keep an eye on Dawn. Buffy had asked her not to say anything to Xander until she had left. She really didn't want to hear his opinions on anything Angel. It had been when she told her she was taking Spike that Willow had blanched. "Are you sure that is such a good idea, she asked.

"No, I'm not. But I don't really have a choice. I have to keep an eye on him." She had promised to call in a day or two and then had left to pick up Spike before Dawn got home from school. She heard movement and noticed Spike was awake.

"I know you didn't want to come but I may need your help with Angel. You also haven't been yourself since you came back and I think you may need someone to watch out for you."

He looked over at her angrily. "I don't need a bloody babysitter. And I don't want to see my bloody pouf of a grand sire either. You could have come to see him without me."

"Its too late now, she sighed, we are almost there." Wesley paced the lobby waiting for Buffy's arrival. It hadn't been easy getting Cordelia out of the building. He knew she was exhausted so he had suggested she go home and rest while he stayed with the ailing vampire. She had resisted until he told her she looked tired, and could probably use a hot bath and a good nights sleep. Telling a vain woman like Cordy she looked worn would always send her scurrying off in search of the face cream, and beauty treatments. He was relieved when the door opened and Buffy stepped onto the landing and then he frowned when he saw she had indeed brought Spike along.

"Where is Cordelia, she asked hesitantly looking around.

"I sent her home to sleep. Gunn and Fred have gone to get something to eat. I need to get you upstairs and him out of sight."

"You could have damned well left me at home, griped the bleached blonde vampire scowling.

She looked at him like a mother scolding her child.

"Not an option. Do we have a place to stay, she asked.

"I can take care of myself, snapped Spike.

"Fine, just don't leave the building."

Wesley was confused as he watched the verbal banter.

"Buffy, Spike can stay downstairs if he likes. I have put you in a room near Angel. We better get upstairs." He took her bag and headed up the stairs with her behind him. Spike watched them from the bottom steps.

"I'll stay near but I'm damned well not staying here." He stepped out the door of the hotel and into the night. Buffy stood at the door of Angel's room. She had left her bag in the room next to him and had washed her face and combed her hair. She didn't know why she was taking so much time cleaning herself up. She just wanted to look okay. She hadn't seen him since the night they had met halfway after Willow had brought her back from the dead. She knew Wesley had gone downstairs on the pretext of intercepting Angel's friends when they got back. He thought it best she see him for the first time alone. She knew they would all know she was here soon enough and she winced at the thought of Cordelia. They had never been friends, and she didn't relish the idea of her company now. She had reached for the doorknob when she heard a crash inside the room. She threw open the door and raced to the bed to see Angel trying to get up. His eyes were closed and his face was twisted in pain as he struggled to rise. She grabbed his shoulders trying to get him to lie back down, and he began to struggle with her. He opened his eyes to see her face just inches from his. His body went limp, and he allowed her to lay him back down on the bed. He trembled, and then violent spasms shook his body. Buffy climbed on the bed and held on to him as he shook his eyes never leaving hers.

"No," he gasped, still looking at her in fear.

She reached for his forehead, and he flinched at her touch. He was actually frightened of her she realized. His delirium was obvious. She stroked his hair and then his face. "Angel, it's okay. I'm here. I'm here."

The vampire slumped under her touch, but he moved his head against her hand as she continued to stroke his head and face. He closed his eyes and drifted off, and this is when she took the opportunity to check his physical condition. He was thin, too thin. His skin was like parchment stretched over his bones and his hair was stringy. She touched his chest and his skin was clammy beneath her fingers. She felt the tears spring from her eyes and she raised her head to see him looking at her again. He strained to raise his hand toward her so she picked it up and held it for him. His fingers curled toward her face, so she held his hand against her cheek as he touched the tears there. He moved his mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. A tear sprang from his eye to match hers. She leaned over to wipe it away, and she heard him sigh.

"It's okay. I'm here and we're together. You are going to be okay." Wesley watched the two of them from the doorway. He quietly pulled the door closed and headed down the stairs. He got halfway down and sat on the steps. I made the right decision, he thought. She is what he needs now. He saw Gunn and Fred coming in the lobby, and went to greet them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Part 3

Rating: PG in this part. Gunn sat across the table from Fred watching her talking to Wesley. He still didn't trust the guy, but he had saved Angel, and he was helping them take care of him. He noticed that every so often Wesley's gaze would stray to the kitchen door as if he was expecting someone to be there. "Do you think Angel is getting any better?" Fred was asking him, "do you think he will ever get his memory back?"

Wesley didn't answer her, but turned to the both of them. "You should both know that an acquaintance of mine is upstairs with Angel right now. I feel certain they can help him."

"What acquaintance," said Fred, "what are they doing to Angel?"

"Who is with Angel, and what are you trying to pull," shouted Gunn rising to his feet.

Fred jumped up nervously. " Maybe I should call Cordelia." She moved to the phone as Wesley rose to intercept her.

"There isn't any reason to call her. No one is going to hurt Angel. Not with Buffy here anyway," he smiled.

Gunn stared at him. "Buffy, as in the slayer girl, Angel's flame? What is she doing here, and who called her?"

Wesley sat back down in his chair. "She is here to help Angel, and I called her."

Fred backed away nervously, "Cordelia said she was bad. Bad for Angel, and ju-just bad."

Wesley snorted, "Cordelia is full of crap. Buffy is just what he needs right now."

"Did I hear my name?"

The others looked in the kitchen doorway to see her standing there.

"Damn," said Gunn, "an actual kick ass Slayer." He rushed forward to stick out his hand. "Charles Gunn, ma'am, but everyone here just calls me Gunn."

Buffy smiled, "Nice to meet you." She turned to Fred, "and you are?" "F-Fred, and Cordelia says you are bad. You always hurt Angel, and then you leave."

Buffy looked the little brunette over. "Cordelia has that backwards." She looked at Wesley. "I need to feed him."

He went to the refrigerator and withdrew a blood bag. She took it from him, and turned to heat it slightly in the microwave. She took it out, and headed out of the kitchen.

"You didn't do it right. He likes it in a mug, and you forgot the cinnamon," the dark haired girl told her frostily.

Buffy laughed, "I think he can live without it for now." The three of them stood in the lobby watching Buffy climb the stairs going back to Angel. She knew they were watching her, but she really didn't care. She had got through her introductions to the rest of Angel's team. She knew Cordelia wouldn't be so easy. She sighed as she opened the door to Angel's room. He lay motionless on the bed his eyes closed in sleep. She climbed up beside him the blood bag in her hand. His eyes flew open to see her looking down at him.

"Hungry? You need to--" His eyes were on the bag in her hand and then he looked at her. She remembered what Wesley had told her. He didn't know what he was either. "Damn," she swore. "I'm an idiot." She saw he was looking at her warily. "You aren't the idiot, I am." She smiled down at him. "I will be right back. Don't go anywhere." She got off the bed and reached for the cup that held her coffee earlier. She rinsed it out in the bathroom sink, and filled it with the blood from the bag. She returned to the bed, and sat down by him again. She heard Wesley enter the room behind them as she leaned over Angel again.

"You need to drink something. It will make you feel better, stronger." He looked at her then the cup in her hand. He flinched, and closed his eyes.

"How are you going to get him to drink it when he obviously doesn't want it?" asked Wesley.

She smiled at him knowingly. "Just like this." She leaned over to Angel. "If I drink some first will you drink some too?" She held the cup to her lips as Wesley tried to keep his face impassive. He couldn't believe she was actually going to do this, but he couldn't turn his eyes away. She lifted the cup, and drank down a swallow. She looked at Wesley, and then at Angel.

"I know it doesn't look that good, but it is good for you. Medicine never tastes good, but we still have to take it anyway." She smiled down at him.

"Would you like me to help you?" Wesley came to the other side of the bed, and helped raise Angel up enough to sip some of the cups contents. He choked, and Buffy stopped as Wesley helped him set up in the bed. She once more held the cup to his lips, and gave him small sips at a time. The vampire never took his eyes off her as he drank the contents down. She wiped his mouth, and helped Wesley settle him in the bed once more. He closed his eyes, and soon he had drifted off to sleep. They quietly left the room, and headed down the stairs. Wesley still couldn't shake the sight of Buffy drinking blood from his mind. She seemed to hear his thoughts as she turned to him. "I did get him to drink it, didn't I?"

"Yes, but Buffy…."

"Then that's the important thing right? I would like to ask you to please not say anything though. Cordelia already believes I'm a freak. I think this would definitely cinch it." They entered the lobby to find Gunn and Fred arguing. The woman was still trying to call Cordelia, and he was against it.

"Look honey, she is upstairs taking care of him. We know they have a helluva history, but I don't think she came here to hurt him. I say we leave Cordelia out of it for now."

"But she shouldn't be here. She doesn't belong here."

Buffy flinched at Fred's words. "What exactly do you have against me," she asked, " You don't know me."

"I know what Cordelia said about you," sputtered Fred.

"Oh yeah, that I'm bad. You said that already." She headed back up the stairs. At the top of the landing she looked back down at Fred. "You know something, if I am so bad Cordelia would not still be standing upright, because I would have already killed her."

The others looked up at her in shock as she turned, and headed to her room. She closed the door behind her, and sank to the floor, her head against the wall. A tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it away angrily. She was here to help Angel get his memory back, and then she was gone. She wondered what he would think when that happened. Would he be upset to see her here; or would he be happy she came? "This isn't about you," she scolded herself, " it's about him."

She heard the door to Angel's room open, and then a scream. She jumped to her feet and followed the sound. Fred was crying as Angel in full game face roared from the bed. Gunn was trying to hold him down, but he was fighting him. She ran to the bed, and climbed up on it leaning over him. She touched his face, and he flinched in confusion. Gunn and Fred watched in astonishment as she caressed his demon face, and whispered to him softly. She traced the ridges on his forehead, and smoothed her hand over his brow. She smiled down at him, and they continued to watch as Angel's face became normal again. Gunn leaned closer to catch what she was saying to him.

"What is it? I leave you alone for a few minutes, and you go all postal." She glanced over at Fred. "You scared the lady here, but we know you didn't mean to."

Fred moved closer to the bed, but still remained out of reach. Buffy looked up at her, and Fred could see she had been crying before. She motioned Gunn toward the door, and then touched Buffy on the shoulder. "Can I get you anything, some coffee maybe?"

"That would be nice." Looking back at Angel she added, "I think he will probably sleep now, but I will stay here just in case." Fred followed Gunn out of the room and they quickly headed to the kitchen. Wesley was there at the counter making a sandwich.

"I would assume everything is okay."

"Angel was upset. He growled at me. I just wanted to check on him, but he didn't like it. Buffy calmed him down."

Gunn went to the coffee pot. "I have never seen anything like it. Angel is in full face, and I'm trying to hold him down, and she crawls up in the middle of him, and starts whispering to him, and touching his face. She didn't even hesitate for a moment. She wasn't scared. She was just, I don't know, right there. He is looking at her, and then no more vamp face."

"Buffy is well aware of Angel's other side. She has been on the receiving end of Angelus. I have no doubt she can handle him."

"She loves him, doesn't she? I wasn't very nice to her earlier, but I said I would take her some coffee. I need to apologize."

Wesley smiled at the little brunette. "Why don't you take her some dinner? She hasn't eaten, and she won't if you don't put it in front of her. I do remember that from my days as her Watcher."

He waited until she had left the room before turning to Gunn. "You haven't seen a bleach blonde vampire around here, have you? Spike has disappeared, and that may not be a good thing."

Seeing the other man's reaction he continued, "Buffy brought him with her in case we needed his help with Angel."

"She works with vampires? I thought Angel was the only vamp she ever had anything to do with. This Spike is his childe, right?"

"I think there are things we don't know about Buffy, and her life right now. She tells me Spike is harmless, and that he also has his soul. I would like to know where he is though."

"Fred is right about one thing, you know, Cordy isn't going to be happy she is here. I think she actually hates her."

"I don't give a damn what Cordelia likes or doesn't like. She has always been hateful where Buffy is concerned, but Buffy stays. Agreed?"

"I never thought I would say this to you, but yeah, agreed." Fred lightly knocked at Angel's door. "Come in." She opened the door to find Buffy setting by Angel's bed, a book in her hand.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your reading. I brought you some coffee and a sandwich. Wesley said you haven't eaten."

"Thank you," the blonde girl answered, taking the tray. "I am hungry, I guess."

Fred looked behind her at Angel. "How is he doing? Do you think he will be okay?"

"We will just have to wait and see. He is still very weak."

"I guess I will go now. He seems better with you here." She turned to leave. "I am sorry I hurt your feelings before. I am never hateful to people, but I was to you. I can tell you care about him very much. He knows you, and he doesn't remember any of us." "I don't know about that. I just came to help, and then I'll leave. I'm not here to stir up anything, or cause any trouble."

"Well, if you need anything let me know, and I am glad you're here." She closed the door behind her leaving Buffy to watch Angel sleeping.

"What about you," she said to him, "will you be glad I'm here? Or am I just a reminder of your past? I wish you would wake up and talk to me. I wish I knew you were going to be okay." She climbed up on the bed, and wiped his face with the warm cloth. She was tired, so tired. She just wanted to sleep for a few minutes. She stretched out beside him, and closed her eyes. When Wesley checked on her later she was curled up beside Angel, both of them deep in sleep. He smiled broadly, and closed the door, leaving them alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 4

Rating: PG confrontational, angsty.

Spike stood in the doorway watching the woman he loved, sleeping next to the man she loved. It wasn't surprising finding her in his bed; he just didn't want to see it. He knew she had never loved him. She had needed to feel something, anything, after she had been ripped out of heaven, and left to claw her way out of her grave. Angel had been unwilling, or unable to save her, so he had gladly stepped into his shoes. He couldn't exactly remember when the golden haired beauty lying in front of him had replaced Druscilla in his heart, but she had. The fact she still loved Angel was all too obvious. She had never stopped. Spike knew it wasn't the fact that he had marked her either as she had loved him long before that. She had still loved him when he had lost his soul, and reverted to Angelus. She wouldn't ever admit it, but she had a dark side. At times he had seen her give in, and embrace her darker nature, but she would then pull back to the light. He knew he couldn't ever hope to hold on to her, but the memories would always be there. He felt this place was a joke. Those people downstairs were supposed to be these great demon hunters, and here he was right under their noses. He had hid in the shadows listening to their conversations all evening. These people didn't know anything about Buffy, or him. They didn't know Angel, not really. Only Buffy knew his true nature, having seen it in Angelus. He heard them talking about Cordelia. She would not cause Buffy any harm. He would see to it. He looked at Angel. He was sleeping so peacefully. He wondered how much he really remembered. He walked over closer to the bed, and found he was awake. Stepping carefully as not to wake the sleeping woman, he approached Angel on his side of the bed. He leaned over so he could look into his eyes. His grandsire stared at him blankly. "You may not know who I am right now mate, but I am warning you. If you hurt this woman again I will kill you. Make no mistake, you will be dust beneath her feet." Angel made no sign that he heard the blonde vampire. Spike left the room closing the door behind him. Angel had lain there for what seemed a long time listening to the woman beside him breathing in sleep. She had snuggled against him in her sleep, and he had wanted to pull her closer against him. Her scent was familiar. He had lain with her like this before. She was a part of his life, he just didn't know how. She had calmed him when he had felt the rage inside of him. He wanted to move closer to her. He wanted to touch her, but his body would not respond. He knew he was stronger than he had been, but the blank spaces in his mind frustrated him. He wanted to talk, but he couldn't. He wanted to ask this woman questions. "How do I know you? Are you mine? What does that word mean, mine?"

She shifted in her sleep, and he waited until he could hear her deep in sleep again. When he looked at her all he could think of was her name, Buffy, and mine. He felt a sudden movement, and then she was leaning over him, awake. Another word, beautiful, and then love. She stroked his forehead with her hand. He struggled to say something to her, other than the one word he had managed earlier. She put her finger to his lips. "Don't try to talk. Just rest now." She went to lift herself off the bed.

"Uhhhh," was the only sound he could make right now. "Okay, I will stay with you." She snuggled up next to him, and he felt calmer. He startled when she leaned over him again. "Angel, I love you. I will always love you." She pressed her lips to his for just a moment before resuming her position beside him. He closed his eyes, and lay there listening to her quiet breathing before sleep claimed him once more. Buffy woke up later to find it was almost dawn. She rose, and checked the curtains at the windows. Angel was still sleeping, so she welcomed the thought of a hot shower, and change of clothes. She stood over him for a moment studying his face as he rested. She had kissed him last night, and she shouldn't have. All that would do is possibly confuse him more. She couldn't use his condition to insinuate herself back into his life. It wasn't right to take advantage of him when she was supposed to be helping him. She quietly left the room, and stepped into her own heading for the shower. She stood under the water for several minutes preparing herself for the inevitable reunion with Cordelia. How Xander had ever found himself in a relationship with the spoiled rich bitch was beyond her. She had saved Cordy's butt more than once, and never received anything but grief for it. She had been upset to learn she was in L.A.; working with Angel, but there hadn't been anything she could do about it. She quickly dressed, and stepped back into Angel's room to find him still sleeping. She headed downstairs hoping for a cup of coffee to find Wesley there ahead of her with his customary cup of tea. He smiled at her entrance, and offered her the chair in front of him. He had not left last night, but had stayed at the hotel to watch over her. He wanted to be here when Cordelia made her appearance. Gunn and Fred might have softened toward Buffy, but Cordy could be a bully, and he didn't want the woman in front of him to decide to leave. She hadn't been here twenty-four hours, and already he could see an improvement in Angel's condition. It was already becoming obvious the vampire upstairs was only content when certain people were with him, and that was the way Wesley wanted it. He looked at Buffy who was staring into her coffee intently.

"What is it? Something has you upset, or worried?"

"This is harder than I thought it was going to be. He got agitated when I tried to leave him last night. I stayed in his room, and I shouldn't have."

"I can see an improvement in him already, and you just got here. You can bring him back. I know you can."

"But at what cost to me, Wes? I hate seeing him like that, but it's just so hard. I have tried to put him, put us behind me. We both decided to move on. When he gets his memory back he will remember that. We made an agreement, and I'm not holding to it by being here."

He came around the table, and took the chair next to her. "Buffy, I don't know what sort of an agreement you might have had with Angel, but I know that if you were where he is now he would be setting by your bed. I am certain of it. The two of you are far from over. You might as well admit it."

"He has moved on Wes, it's me that can't seem to do it. I told him once I would never stop loving him. I never have."

She didn't cry, but Wesley's heart went out to her. She didn't deserve to hurt like this, and she wouldn't for much longer. There was much both Buffy and Angel didn't know, and he was here to rectify that situation. He pulled her into his arms, and hugged her.

He was going to take care of this. He owed it to Angel, and to the woman he was holding. He released her, and looked into her face. "We are going to do this a day at a time. I'm going to be staying here at the hotel if you need me. We will concentrate on getting Angel better, and then go from there. Are you with me?"

"I'm with you."

Fred walked into the room taking in the sight of the two setting there. "Is everything okay?"

"We are fine, Fred." Fred could tell the girl at the table had been about to cry again. She still felt badly for the night before. "Buffy, can I make you some breakfast?"

"I don't want anything, thank you."

Wesley caught Fred's eye, and nodded toward the refrigerator. She understood, and hurried to get them all something to eat. She could see that while Buffy was here taking care of Angel, she needed someone to take care of her too. A few minutes later she was cooking a full breakfast for everyone. Gunn entered to find them all in the kitchen. He took the seat across from Buffy, and studied her intently. She met his gaze, and he realized he was staring at her. "Sorry, it's just that I have never met an actual Slayer before. I know there are two of you, but still damn, a Slayer."

Fred set a plate of eggs in front of him. "Close your mouth and eat." He picked up his fork, and looked again at Buffy. "Do you think you might spar with me once while you are here? I would really like to see you in action."

Buffy smiled at him. "Sure, no problem."

Fred stood next to her plate in hand. "Are you sure you won't eat anything," she asked her timidly.

"I changed my mind. It does smell good. Thank you." Buffy took the plate, and began to eat. The others sat around her alternating between eating, and being very aware of her presence amongst them. She pushed back her chair from the table. "Thank you for breakfast. It was good. I probably had better check on him." She hurriedly left the room.

"How is Angel doing now," asked Gunn. "After yesterday I don't think he is too comfortable with us around. I still can't believe she calmed him down so fast. Do you think he knows who she is?" Wesley rose from his seat, and went to the counter. He rinsed out his cup, and turned to face Gunn at the table.

"I think he feels he should know her. He has far to go before he will be the Angel we know again, and he may never get that back. If she is the calming influence over him right now, then I feel we should be thankful for her presence. He may become attached to her. I have already seen signs of it. He became upset when she tried to leave him last night, so she had to sleep in his room."

"Cordelia won't like that at all. She and Angel, what about Cordy and Angel?" Fred stood by the counter nervously.

"There isn't any Cordy and Angel," Wesley bit out disgustedly. "Some people we know put that idea into their heads," he said looking pointedly at Fred. "Do you want Buffy to leave right now, knowing she is already doing him some good by her being here?"

"No, no!" Cried Fred, "he does need her here. I can see it."

"Don't be so hard on Fred," exclaimed Gunn, "she wants Angel well just as much as you do. So do I."

"I'm sorry, Fred. I should not have spoken to you that way. I am going to see if Buffy needs any help with Angel."

Gunn waited until Wesley had left the room. "He is being very protective where she is concerned. I wonder why that is. I have never heard him say much of anything about her until now he shows up with her. I think something else is going on."

"I think you are right. But we do have to help him keep her here. She is helping Angel. I think she still loves him."

"Who loves who," asked Cordelia, smiling from the doorway. Gunn and Fred hadn't heard her come in, and they struggled to cover.

"Uh, Fred, Fred still loves me."

"Well of course she does, silly."

She sat her bag down in the chair, and went to get a cup of coffee. "I slept like a log last night. I didn't know how tired I was until my head hit the pillow. And how is our patient? Have you checked on him this morning?"

"He is fine. He slept well last night. Wesley is with him."

"Wes is here already? Well, he is really falling in to help, isn't he?"

Gunn answered her. "Wesley stayed the night in case Angel needed him. We upset him last night, and needed the extra hand."

"Oh, then I better go see him and let him know I'm here. He probably missed me last night." She headed out of the room to go upstairs.

"Gunn, we can't let her go up there right now. What if she upsets Angel when she sees who is with him?" He jumped out of his chair and raced to the lobby. Cordelia was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking at Wesley at the top. "How is Angel?" She asked.

"He is fine. Actually he is sleeping right now. He needs his rest." He looked at her coldly. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yes, I did, but I want to check on Angel right now."

"I told you he is asleep."

"Wes, I need to know where you keep the towels around here. I'm going to try and clean him up today." Buffy came into view at the top of the stairs, and Cordelia gasped, "What are you doing here?"

She started up the stairs, but Gunn grabbed her arm. "She is here helping Angel. She got here last night." Cordy shook him off. "Well now she can leave. I am back, and I will take care of him. He is sick, and we don't need you around to upset him."

Buffy looked down at the fake blonde below her. "You know, Cordelia, I wouldn't have recognized you until you opened your mouth. Not with the hair and all. Is that straw on your head, or are you wearing a Chia pet?"

The woman downstairs screamed up at her, "I hate you!! Just get the hell out of here! Nobody asked you to come!"

Wesley looked at Buffy. "You will find towels in the hall closet on the end." He smiled at her, enjoying the scene immensely. "I will be happy to take care of this."

Buffy watched him go down the stairs, and take Cordelia by the arm. "Let's go talk somewhere, shall we?" He led the angry woman into the kitchen, and deposited her in a chair.

She looked up angrily at the others around her. "How could you let her near him? All she's going to do is upset him, and he doesn't need that now. He doesn't even know who she is."

"That's where you are wrong," said Gunn, "he doesn't know us, but he knows her. He got upset last night, and vamped on us. She calmed him down, and all she had to do was let him see her. She touched him, and he changed back."

"So who are you, her champion now?" Cordy sneered.

"Shut up," snapped Wesley. He took the chair next to her pulling it around to face her. "I went to Sunnydale, and asked Buffy to come here. She agreed, and she is helping him. He wants her here. He gets upset when she tries to leave him. She is staying. The rest of us are in agreement here. You will do nothing to make her stay, less pleasurable, do you understand?"

Cordelia jumped up from her chair. "Do you forget what he is like when he is thinking of her? How she makes him miserable? Do you want him like that again? She will hurt him. She always does. He is better when they are apart."

"Let's talk about that, shall we?" Wesley grabbed her arm, and put her back in her chair. "I have always found it interesting how you got your seer powers. Doyle gave them to you, did he not?"

Cordelia didn't know where he was going with this, but it made her nervous. "You know he did. What does that have to do with Buffy being here?"

He rose to stand over her. "I think it is interesting that while Doyle had visions about Buffy, you never have; or at least none that you bothered to share with us anyway. I think it would be interesting if Angel knew you had seen things regarding her, and didn't bother to tell him. He would not be very happy with you, would he? Do you think Doyle knows how you have corrupted his gift?"

She sputtered, "You don't know that I have kept things from Angel. I can only tell what I see."

"But do you tell us what you see, that is the question, isn't it? I would think about it if I were you. In the meantime Buffy stays and I might mention Spike is around too, soul and all. But you already knew that didn't you?" He walked out of the kitchen leaving the others standing there.

Cordelia looked up to see Gunn and Fred staring at her. "You aren't going to listen to him, are you? Wesley can't be trusted, you both know that."

Fred looked at her closely. "We know we can trust him to bring Angel home, and to bring Buffy here to help him." She choked back a sob and fled, heading up the stairs to her room. Gunn didn't speak to her. He just shook his head, and left the room, leaving her setting there alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 5

Wesley knocked before opening Angel's bedroom door. Buffy walked out of the bathroom, carrying a basin of water. "Can you give me a hand? I was going to clean him up some." He went to the bedside, and waited for her instructions. Angel was awake, but he didn't appear to notice them standing over him. "Is everything okay downstairs," she asked hesitantly.

"It's nothing for you to have to worry about. I told you I would take care of it."

She continued to wash the vampire's chest and torso, taking care to be gentle. "He isn't healing like he should be Wes. You know it, and I know it. He needs something more substantial than pig's blood."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I want to give him my blood. It helped him before, and I know it could do it again. I don't want anyone else to know about this though. I want to do it at his next feeding. Will you help me?"

"We can't take the chance on you having to go to the hospital Buffy. Last time Angel nearly drained you. I was there, remember?"

"I don't mean having him bite me. I meant you helping me drain a pint, and giving it to him. Will you help me?"

Wesley thought for a moment. "Okay, but no more than a pint. I can take it from your arm, and no one has to know." He looked down at Angel, who continued to appear in a trance. "Do you think he hears us?"

She carefully washed his face, and smoothed his hair. "I think maybe he does. I just don't know if he understands anything we say to him." Wesley studied Angel's demeanor. "I know he has moments of lucidity. I see a spark in his eyes sometimes, as if he is in there, and trying to communicate with us."

She moved away from the bed to discard the towels and washbasin. Angel's eyes followed her until she was out of his line of vision. He looked at Wesley, and blinked rapidly as if trying to focus. "Uuhhhh," the vampire uttered.

"Is he trying to talk?" Asked Wesley. "He did that last night when he didn't want me to leave. He said no yesterday." She came back to the bed, and leaned over him. "Can you say something for me today?" The vampire blinked twice.

Wesley caught it. "Buffy, he just told you yes." He quickly explained the once for no, two for yes exercise they had done Angel's first day back.

She crawled up beside him. "Angel, are you saying yes?" Again he blinked twice.

Wesley leaned over the bed. "Angel, what is it you wanted to say?" He opened his mouth, and his voice came in a whisper.

They leaned over to catch it. Buffy tried again. "Angel, can you tell us what you wanted to say?"

The vampire looked at her, and blinked twice. "Tell me, I'm right here." He struggled to speak, and began to cough. "Maybe it's too soon, Wes."

They could see Angel was struggling to make the sounds. They watched as he took a deep breath, and looked into Buffy's eyes. "Bu-uffy." He fell back on his pillows, exhausted from his efforts.

"He did it, he said your name." Wesley was elated. He felt better about Angel's recovery now. If Angel could say her name, it meant he could remember some information. They just didn't know how much of anything he could remember. He looked over at Buffy, and realized how tired she seemed. Taking care of Angel was taking its toll on her emotionally, and she needed to rest. "Why don't you go lay down? If you plan to donate your blood to him, you need your rest too."

Buffy knew he was right, but she was reluctant to leave the room, Cordelia was still downstairs.

Wesley stood up, and offered her a hand. "What do you say to lunch, and then a nap?"

She smiled, and took his hand. She leaned over to Angel, and smiled at him. "I will be back, you get some rest." He closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

Buffy followed Wesley down the stairs to the lobby. She stopped when she looked out the doors into what looked like a stone garden. "I think I might like to go out there for a little while, I could use some air." She walked out the doors, and sat down on a bench. The sun was shining high overhead, and she turned when she heard a noise behind her. A boy hid in the shadows of the trees watching her. "I know you are there. You might as well come out."

He stepped out from behind the trees, and looked at her defiantly. "What do you want?"

"I could ask you that. You are the one watching me."

"I know who you are," he almost spat, " I know what you are doing here."

"Okay, you've got me at a disadvantage. Want to tell me who you are?"

"You mean you don't know. I thought they would have told you all about me by now."

She looked at the rage in his eyes, and it came to her. "So you are Connor, huh? A bit scrawny, aren't you?"

"I could take you, easily."

She threw back her head, and laughed. "Could I take a rain check on that? You see; I am kind of tired. Someone locked a friend of mine away for a while, and I've been busy taking care of him. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"How can you help him? He's a thing. He should have died."

"Then why the box, why not just stake him?"

"I wanted him to suffer for his crimes."

"Take it from me, he has been doing that for a long time now. Who made you judge, jury, and executioner anyway? I always thought that was my job. If you're a vampire or demon anyway." She smiled at him.

He glared at her furious. "But you help him, why?"

Buffy sighed. This kid was a piece of work. "What I know is that so called `thing' upstairs is your father from what they tell me, and he has saved my ass a few times. He has helped so many people since I have known him, and I think that counts for something." She glared back at him, but he was sullen. She rose to her feet. "I am going to go get something to eat, and then I plan to take a nap. If you want to continue this later, then you look me up."

She started to go in, her hand on the door. She looked back to see him still watching her intently. His expression was blank, but she thought he was trying hard to make it look that way. "Will you be out here tomorrow?" He asked.

"I can probably manage that." She watched him leave, keeping to the shadows of the trees. She walked into the kitchen to find Fred at the table.

She jumped up when Buffy entered. "Buffy, can I get you anything?"

"You don't have to wait on me Fred. I just wanted a cup of coffee, and maybe a sandwich."

Gunn swept into the kitchen carrying containers of food. "Hey Buffy, I've got Chinese here. Are you hungry? I've got plenty." Buffy grinned at him. He sat two containers down in front of her. "Wesley said you used to like chicken, and vegetables, and egg drop soup." Buffy looked at him in surprise. He leaned over the table grinning at her. "Wesley put Cordelia in her place earlier. You should have seen it." He laughed. "I personally liked your Chia pet analogy. I did have to explain to Fred what one was though."

Fred smiled shyly. "I always did like Cordelia's hair when it was brown. I don't know why she changed it."

Buffy looked up from her eating to see they were both staring at her again. "Guys, I don't have two heads. Would you just eat?" They looked at her guiltily, and started eating. "Where is Wesley?"

"He said to tell you he had to go out, but would be back soon." Fred hesitated for a moment. "Cordelia is downstairs if you wanted to talk to her."

Buffy pushed back her chair from the table. "I might as well get this over with."

Cordelia looked up from her place on the exercise mat when Buffy entered the room. "Leaving yet," she snapped.

Buffy sat down in front of her, and sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Cordelia, what the hell is your problem with me? You have always been like this. What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much?"

The blonde seer wasn't expecting this from Buffy. She expected to argue with her, not this kind of confrontation. She thought about what Wesley had said upstairs. It was true she had kept things from Angel and the others, and some of it had turned out badly. Like Buffy dying again badly. "I don't hate you Buffy," she finally admitted. "It's just you aren't good for Angel. He is miserable when he is brooding about you, and all you do is hurt him."

Buffy looked into Cordelia's face. "I have hurt Angel, I admit that, and I did it out of anger and jealousy. I have always been envious of the fact that you are out here with him where I wanted to be. You get to share his life now. I can never do that again, and I know it."

Cordelia was stunned. "Buffy, it tore him up inside when he left you. He loved you so much; I know that. It's taken him a long time to get better."

Buffy could feel the tears, and she tried to fight them, but they flowed down her face. "I know that Cordelia, but he has gone on, hasn't he? He has found someone else to love, and I am part of his past. I can accept that. I am here to help him get better, and then I will leave. I won't hurt him again. I want him to be happy." She got to her feet, and walked to the stairs. "As soon as he is better, I will be gone."

Cordelia sat there, tears of her own streaming down her face. She had never felt more ashamed than she did now. She walked up into the lobby headed for the front door. She met Wesley as he entered from the outside. He could see she had been crying, but he couldn't bring himself to feel any sympathy for her. "Is Angel okay?"

"Yes," she nodded, "I am going home, and I will be staying there for a while. You don't need me to help him. Buffy is doing that."

She opened the door to leave. "Wesley, tell her I am sorry. Tell her I am sorry for everything."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 6

Fred knocked lightly at Buffy's door. "Come in." She entered to find Buffy lying across her bed. "I'm sorry to bother you, but you're wanted on the phone." Buffy started to get up, but Fred stopped her.

"I can take a message if you want." She smiled at the woman.

"It's okay. I will take it." She followed her downstairs.

"It's your friend, Willow."

Buffy took the phone, and put it to her ear. "Hi, Will. Is something wrong at home?"

"No, actually it has been pretty quiet here. It's like all the demons know you are out of town and they had better behave, or you will kick their butts when you get home."

Buffy couldn't resist a laugh. "Okay, so how are Dawn and Xander?"

"Dawn is good. She says to tell you to do what you have to. She is growing up that girl. Xander, well you don't want to know what he said."

Buffy put her head on the desk for a minute. "No, you are probably right there."

"So Buffy; how is Angel?"

"Not good. It's going to take longer than I thought. He isn't responding like he should be. Pity there isn't a B-12 shot for vampires."

Willow was quiet on the other end. Finally she spoke. "But you know there is. I'm sure you've already thought of it."

Buffy looked around to see if anyone was listening. "Yes, I have thought of that, and I have talked to Wesley about it. Are you going to hate me if I do it again? It won't be the same as before. This time it's like going to the blood mobile." Buffy could hear her intake of breath on the other end.

"Buffy, I wasn't upset that you did it before. I understood why, then and now."

"I have to do everything I can to help him. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't."

"I know that. It's not wrong that you still love him. It's who you are."

"I just wish it didn't hurt so damn bad."

"I'm here if you need me. If you need me to come, you know I will."

"I appreciate it, but I'm okay. Everyone has been nice, and I may have even have come to some kind of understanding with Cordelia. I will just have to wait and see. I will call you in a couple of days."

"Okay, and get some rest. You sound exhausted."

She put down the phone, and laid her head on the desk again. She was just so tired. That's where Wesley found her a little while later. She was slumped in the chair, her head on her arms. Gunn joined him, and they looked down at her. Wesley motioned, and Gunn picked her up, and carried her to the lobby. He laid her on the sofa, and Fred hurried to cover her up with a blanket. The three of them went to the kitchen to find Spike leaned up against the counter. "There is something in the refrigerator for you if you want it," the former Watcher said.

Spike looked at him. "I am not taking anything that belongs to him."

Wesley moved toward him. "It isn't his. I picked it up today for you."

"Well, seeing as I have already had dinner I might just save it for later." He walked out of the kitchen leaving them staring behind him.

"Is he staying here," asked Fred, "he scares me."

"No, I don't think Spike likes our hospitality, but that is okay. As long as he stays near enough to keep an eye on, he can do as he pleases." He glanced at Fred and Gunn who were still staring after the other souled vampire. "He can't hurt you. He has a chip in his head that won't allow him to attack humans. Giles told me all about it."

Buffy woke to find herself on a couch in the lobby, and she wasn't sure how she got there. She was still tired. She looked around. and finding no one headed upstairs to check on Angel. He was asleep. She noticed someone had pulled a lounge chair into the room on the other side of the bed. She moved it to where she could see him if he woke up, and crawled up on it. She pulled up the blanket, and was asleep in minutes. Angel opened his eyes to find himself alone. He could smell her though, the woman who had been taking care of him. The one named Buffy. He moved his head a little, and could see her asleep on a chair beside his bed. He frowned at her. He wanted her to sleep next to him. He just felt better if she was beside him. When he had opened his eyes earlier he had seen the other woman, and a man bring the chair into his room. He had wanted them to get out. He felt this rage boiling up inside of him again, and he didn't know where it came from. He wanted to hit something, to hurt something, but his body wouldn't respond. He was furious, and he couldn't let it out. He threw back his head, "Aaaahhhhhhhh!!" Nothing came out. The sounds were only in his head. He struggled to rise. He could see she was moving in her sleep.

"Angel," she murmured.

He stilled. That was what they were calling him. They said his name was Angel. He watched her to see if she would say anything else, but she was still asleep. She looked peaceful there. He felt the rage subside as he took deep breaths. He turned so he could see her better. He was so tired, and he wished he could talk to her. He wanted to ask her things, but he couldn't yet. He had all this thoughts, but he didn't know if they were real or not. He struggled to stay awake and think, but he was exhausted by the little effort he had put out already. He closed his eyes, and dreamed. He dreamed of a dark place. He was on his back, and she was standing over him. He couldn't hear what she was saying but it was her. He gave her a small box. Next he was in a place with many other people there. He could see her in front of him. She kissed him, or maybe he kissed her. He felt a pain on his chest. He was walking with her somewhere, and she was talking to him, but he still couldn't hear her. His arms were wrapped around her, his hands in her hair. She smelled so good. So many snippets of things were running through his head. Now he was fighting her, he was saying things to hurt her. Why would he hurt her? He woke up breathing heavily. Now she stood over him. He looked at the chair, and it was empty so this wasn't another one of the dreams. She had the man with her. The one who had brought him here, to this place. He knew he should know him, but he couldn't remember. She was wiping his forehead, and leaning over him. He could smell her. He remembered the smell. It made him shiver, and warmed him at the same time. Nothing was making any sense. He felt like he was floating somewhere. She was moving away from him, but he could still hear her voice, and he could still smell her. He closed his eyes, and drifted away.

Wesley watched Buffy as she once again washed Angel's face and chest. She looked a little better than before. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Yes, I woke up on the couch downstairs, and then I came up here. I didn't realize how tired I was."

"You fell asleep at the desk, and Gunn put you on the couch. He and Fred moved the lounge in here so you could rest in between taking care of Angel." He picked up a bag by the door, and set it on the table. "I got what we needed here. If you still want to."

"Yes, I do. I talked to Willow and she thinks it's a good idea too. Where do you want to set up? I don't think we should do this in front of him though."

"We could step into your room if you want. No one will bother us there."

They went into Buffy's room, and she sat down on the chair while Wesley got the supplies ready. He sat down across the table from her. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, I think this might help him, physically at least. Just think of it as a B-12 shot."

He laughed at that thought. "I guess that is one way of looking at it." He readied the IV at her vein. She didn't flinch as he inserted the needle. "Only a pint, agreed. I don't want you to get sick, and you are still tired. After we finish here you need to eat."

"I will after we feed him." She watched the blood flow into the bag Wesley was holding. "Who would have ever thought my blood would be some kind of elixir?"

"You know when he gets his strength back he will be upset that you did this."

"I won't give him time to get too upset. As soon as he's better I am going home. I already told Cordelia I wouldn't be staying."

Wesley looked over at her, but she wouldn't look at him. "If that's what you want," he said.

"That's how it is. I play nurse. I go home."

He leaned over her arm. "Okay, that should do it." He removed the IV and reached for a band-aid.

"I don't need that. You know I heal pretty fast." She reached for the cotton, and bent her elbow. "It will be all better in just a minute." She picked up the bag of warm blood. "Shall we see if our patient is awake?"

Angel heard them enter his room. It was her again, and the man. She moved out of his line of sight, but he could hear them talking. She came to the bed, and leaned over him. "It's time to give you your medicine again. Wesley is going to help you set up like we did last time. Are you ready?"

Angel blinked his eyes twice at her request. Wesley came to his other side reaching behind his head, and shoulders to lift him. Angel flinched, but she caressed his face.

"He isn't going to hurt you. He is helping me help you, okay? I can't hold you, and help you drink too." He looked into her eyes, and seemed to understand what she was saying. He relaxed as the man helped him set up against the pillows. She raised the cup to his lips, and he could smell the contents. He felt something rise up inside of him, and he wanted to grab the cup, and drain the contents. She held the cup to his lips, and let him have a sip. He struggled to drink it all, but she pulled the cup back. He growled, and his eyes flashed golden. She didn't flinch but climbed up closer to him.

"Okay, you can have it, but let me help you." She raised the cup to his lips, and let him have more. He drained the cup in a few swallows. He looked at her, and narrowed his eyes.

"He wants more," she said to the man. She climbed off the bed, and disappeared for a moment. His face changed, and he growled again.

"Stop it, it's right here." She came to him again with the cup. She held it as he drained the contents again. "That's it. All gone." She wiped his mouth, and the man moved to lay him down again. He growled in frustration.

"Do you want to sit up for a while?" He looked into her eyes and blinked twice. "Wes, I think our patient is feeling better."

The man leaned over him. "I think you are right. We know he still has his temper don't we?" He moved away from the bed. "I am going to step next door, and put away the supplies. Don't forget you promised to eat."

She smiled at him as Angel watched her. "Don't worry, I will in a little while."

Wesley left, and she turned back to the vampire on the bed. He was watching her intently, and he was still in vamp face. She caressed his forehead.

"Why do I still see the face? Are you upset?" He just looked at her. "Okay, you can't really tell me what it is, can you?" She continued to caress his brow, and his head. "Does that feel any better?" She then noticed he was looking at her arm intently. She pushed up her sleeve, and she realized he could still smell the blood where Wesley had taken it from her arm. She pulled her arm away, and pushed up her sleeve. A fine trickle had run down her arm, and he could see and smell it. He looked at her, and breathed deeply. Buffy could not tear her eyes away from his. She cleaned the blood off her arm with her finger, and offered it to him. He looked at her as she placed her finger on his lips. He sucked on her finger, and she could feel the shiver that ran through her body. She moved her hand away, and pulled her sleeve down. She raised her other hand to caress his face until he calmed, and his face reverted to normal. She was still trembling, and she looked down to see his hand was moving. She looked into his eyes as he raised his arm, and placed his hand against her cheek. She choked back a sob, and took his hand, holding it against her.

"You are making this very difficult, you know that, don't you?" She lowered his hand back to his side. "I am going to go downstairs, but I will be back soon. Why don't you get some sleep?" She climbed off the bed, and headed to the door. He closed his eyes, and slept, and dreamed.

Connor climbed the back stairs of Wesley's apartment building, making sure no one had seen him. He had been watching the Hyperion since the night they had thrown him out, and he knew the blonde Slayer had yet to leave the building. He had heard Fred and Gunn talking in the garden, and they had alerted him to her presence in the building. He thought it was very strange for a Slayer to be taking care of a vampire, and he wanted to know more about this woman. He had heard them call her Buffy, and he knew he had heard that name before, but only in whispers. He took out the set of keys he had stolen from maintenance, and silently picked through them looking for the right one. He knew Wesley had once been a Watcher, so maybe he would have the answers he was looking for. He opened the door quietly, and crept inside. It was obvious Wesley hadn't been here in a few days, and Connor knew he was staying at the hotel right now. He wondered what Angel would think of having him there, since they were no longer friends. As for Justine he couldn't believe she had used him like she had. He had gone looking for her, but she had disappeared which was a good thing for her. He knew now the vampire hadn't killed Holtz, but he was still an evil thing. It was Connor's duty to dispose of evil things. He went to the bookcase searching for anything that might give him some answers. Finding nothing he made his way to Wesley's bedroom careful to not disturb anything. He noticed a trunk against the wall that wasn't locked. Opening the lid he found several leather bound books wrapped in a cloth. Carefully unwrapping them he took the first one, and checked the first entry. The date read February 1, 1999. He read through the first entries. Wesley had been describing his first meeting with Buffy and Faith. He had been over both the Slayers then. Holtz had told him some things about Slayers in general. There was only supposed to be one at a time but apparently this Buffy was a formidable opponent, having died, and been resurrected. He laid that volume aside, and picked up the next one. There was more information about Buffy, and her vampire lover. A Slayer had a vampire lover? Connor's blood ran cold. She went against everything sacred when she would stoop to something so heinous. He read on in wonder. He slammed the book shut, and began to hurriedly put the volumes in the bag he had brought with him. He was furious. Angel had been her vampire lover. So that was why she was here taking care of him instead of tending to her duty as the Slayer. He knew that when one Slayer died another was called. He would make sure she stayed dead this time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 7

Faith paced her prison cell. She was counting the days until she was released. Being called in the warden's office, hearing that they were granting her early release for good behavior. A few years ago, she would have found it all laughable. She had nothing but time to think while she was in here. She looked around at the stark white walls. Here she didn't have to face anyone, she didn't have to atone but for one thing at a time. God knows this had been the easy part. She knew the warden had sent a letter to Angel informing him of her release Friday. She had two days to go. Two days to go until she could walk out of here and into a new life. But what was that life going to be like. She had only had two people in her entire life try to be her friend. One was Angel. She felt the horrible guilt whenever she thought of Buffy, her sister Slayer. She had screwed her over so badly. She looked out her small window into the prison yard. She remembered patrolling with Buffy. She had tried so hard to make Buffy be like her, when really she wanted to be more like the golden haired Slayer. She wondered about the others in Sunnydale. Willow hated her she knew that. She tried to kill Xander. They had done nothing to deserve what she had done to them. She still couldn't believe Angel could forgive her for what she had done to him. And Buffy. How could Buffy ever forgive her? She knew it wasn't that she had sex with her boyfriend; she had stolen her body to do it. She had violated her personally. She knew Buffy and Angel had a terrible fight, and it was all her fault. He never mentioned her when he visited, but she knew he still had feelings for her. She hadn't heard from him in months now. Was everything okay with him? What if he wasn't there to meet her when she came through the gate? She was terrified of trying again without him there to support her. She wanted to make amends with Buffy, and she needed Angel to lead the way. She hoped they had worked everything out, and were at least friends. She wished she had someone to love her like Angel loved Buffy. She wanted someone to look at her the way they looked at each other, as if no one else was in the room. It was late, and she was tired. She climbed in her bunk, and stretched out. Two days, she had two days to figure out what to say, two days to plan. Buffy's face had been full of hate and anger when she had seen her last. It was what she deserved. She closed her eyes, and slept.

Wesley sat the table in the kitchen waiting for Buffy to come downstairs. He held in his hands the piece of paper announcing Faith's release. He wasn't sure how he felt about Faith at this point. He had told Angel he made the right choice in trying to help her, but it was at the cost of Angel hurting Buffy, again. Faith had tortured him, would have killed him if Angel hadn't stopped her. He was going to hand this to Buffy, and then what? It had been two years since Faith had surrendered to the authorities. Was she rehabilitated? What the hell did that mean anyway? He decided to leave the decision up to Buffy. He knew how Angel would feel about it, or would he still? Angel had changed, he knew that. He wasn't sure he even liked the Angel who had been locked in that box and thrown in the water. Why did he help him then? He still asked himself that. They once were friends. He missed his friendship with Angel, but how would the vampire feel when he got his memory back? Would they go back to being adversaries? Would he be upset that he had brought Buffy here to help him? All he could do was wait.

Angel laid in his bed listening to the sounds around him. He could hear water in the room next door. Someone was taking a shower. It was Buffy. He didn't know how, but he knew it was her. He had raised his arm yesterday, and touched her face. She had looked so sad. Why was she sad? He still had only bits and pieces flashing through his mind. He knew he liked it when she was with him. The man that she called Wesley; he was okay with him too. He heard the water stop, and he waited. She didn't come in to his room. What was she doing? He lifted his arm again. He felt stronger today. She gave him medicine yesterday, and it made him better. It was warm and rich, and he could feel it moving through him today, and he wanted more. He lifted his other arm, and moved his fingers. He tried to raise lift his head off the pillow. He found he could raise his body up a little to look at his room better. She had left her blanket on the end of his bed. He tried to reach for it, and found he could grasp the corner of it. He pulled it up to his face. It smelled like her. He pulled it up over him, and drifted back to sleep.

Buffy stood at the window of her room looking at nothing. She had opened her eyes last night in Angel's room, and found him watching her. He had managed to uncover himself while he slept. She had leaned over him to pull up the blanket, and he had touched her again. It was only her hand this time, but he had held on, not wanting to let her go. She had finally stretched out beside him until he had gone back to sleep, and she could free herself. She had left the room, and gone downstairs to find Spike smoking a cigarette in the garden where she had first come into contact with Connor. He had stood there like a statue, waiting for her to speak, and when she didn't he turned to face her.

"I know what you have done. You fed him your blood again. I can smell it. Do you think he is going to say thank you this time when he didn't bother the last time?" She sighed, and crossed her arms as if she were cold.

"It's none of your business Spike. Besides he didn't bite me. I had Wesley drain a pint, and I gave it to him."

"What do you think your little friends back home would think of it huh, luv? Do they know you just can't get enough of us? You may be able to sleep next to him now, but you still can't have him. I'm still the closest you will ever get to him."

"I will never go back Spike. That part of my life is over. I am sorry for hurting you, for using you."

"You used me alright. You couldn't have him, and I was there. I wanted you, and I didn't care what it took to get you. I still don't. You can't expect me to stay for the show. He will wake up, and he will remember. Where does that leave you then?"

"Then we go back home where we belong."

She started back inside. "Oh, and Spike, as for my friends, Willow knows, and Xander, I don't really care what he thinks about it."

She had left him standing there to go back to Angel. Standing over his bed watching him sleep she knew part of what Spike had said was right. She could take care of him now, but he would wake up, and he would remember. She went to her room, and slept there the remainder of the night. When she got up this morning she had yet to go to him, but she would soon. He still needed her, at least for now.

Wesley looked up to find Buffy standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Fred rose from the table.

"Can I get you some coffee?"

Buffy smiled at the little brunette. "You don't have to wait on me, Fred." A hurt look flashed over the woman's face, and Buffy caught it. "Coffee would be nice."

She hurried to get her coffee, and set it along with a plate of pancakes on the table in front of her. She handed her a glass of orange juice that Buffy took without realizing it. She looked across the table at Wesley who sat there looking amused.

"Just eat," he winked at her.

She glanced over at Fred who stood by the counter nervously. "Fred, are you going to have breakfast with me?"

The other girl beamed, "I ate earlier, but thank you anyway." She looked at Wesley. "I will leave you alone now." She hurriedly left the room leaving Buffy to study Wesley. She put down her fork.

"Okay what's up, and don't tell me nothing."

He pointed at her plate. "You need to finish your breakfast. You don't eat like you should."

She looked at him, and laughed. " Is that the former Watcher coming out in you?"

He frowned, "Hell no, I was a lousy Watcher. I'm just concerned about you."

She tried to catch his eye, but he seemed more interested in the cup in front of him. She finished her meal, and pushed the plate aside. "Okay, all done, now what is it?"

He took a deep breath, and handed her the letter from the prison. Her hands shook as she read its contents. On top of everything else, now there was Faith. She tried to compose herself as she struggled with her emotions. "Have you seen her since she's been in prison?"

"No, I haven't. I only know Angel has visited her a few times. He would only tell me that she was doing better. It does says she is getting out early for good behavior."

"I'm not sure how to feel about this. I know Angel would want me to give her a chance. I just don't know if I am a good enough person to do that."

"I understand how you feel. Forgiveness is a very hard thing. I don't know if Angel will ever forgive me for letting Holtz have Connor. I know I want it though, more than anything. Angel did tell me one thing about Faith. Your forgiveness is all she thinks about. It is what she needs. Maybe if you can find it in yourself to forgive, then maybe she can learn to forgive herself." He pushed himself away from the table. "I am going to let you decide what to do. They are releasing her Friday evening."

She rose and faced him. "I have some thinking to do. I think I might like to workout for a while. Would you check on Angel for me? I will be up in a little while."

"I will look in on him. I am anxious to see if yesterday's "elixir" has done him any good."

~~~

Willow opened the door to find an angry Xander standing on the other side. "Okay Will, where is Buffy and what is going on? Spike is nowhere to be found, and I know she hasn't patrolled the last few days. I leave for a couple of days on a job, and I come home to find two of us gone. I know you know something. I can always tell when you are hiding something."

Willow glared at him. "Are you coming in, or are you just going to stand on the porch and continue to put on a show for the neighbors?"

She left him standing there, and headed for the kitchen with him close behind her. She took two cups out of the cabinet, and poured them both coffees, setting one down in front of him. "Buffy is in Los Angeles. She has gone to help Angel. Wesley came to get her, and she went with him. Spike is there also." She could see his jaw clench as he spoke.

"I thought that was a name we wouldn't have to ever hear around here again. Just what is she helping him with, may I ask?"

"Angel has been badly hurt, and Wesley felt she was the one to help him. He came, he asked, she went. I said I would look after Dawn."

"When is she coming back?"

"I don't know. I have talked to her, and Angel is worse than they thought. She will probably be gone a while."

"Did you at least try to talk her out of going? She doesn't owe him anything. She should be here, where she belongs."

"Xander, she is where she belongs."

~~~

Wesley entered Angel's room to find him awake. He stood over him. "How are you feeling today?" Angel looked around the man standing there, looking for her. Wesley picked Angel's arm. "You are looking better physically. Do you know who I am?" Angel looked at him confused. "My name is Wesley, and we have known each other for a while now. We worked together once."

The vampire opened his mouth struggling to talk. "Buf-fy?"

It was a question, and Wesley had to laugh. "She is here, she will be in to see you soon, I promise. Can you say your name, your name is Angel."

He opened his mouth again, "An-gel."

"Yes, that is good, very good." Angel had made a lot of progress since Buffy had given him some of her blood yesterday. Wesley wondered if she would be willing to do it again. She would, he knew she would do anything for the vampire lying in front of him. He wondered if she was still working out downstairs. He got his answer when he heard her shower come on next door. He looked at Angel who was staring at the wall in the direction of the noise. "She's taking a shower. She will probably be in to see you when she is finished. I am going to leave you alone now so you can rest."

Angel watched Wesley leave the room closing the door behind him. He waited for a minute until he could hear nothing, but the shower next door. He set up in the bed, and threw his covers off. He pulled his legs over until they were touching the floor, and raised his body to stand. He stood there a minute getting his bearings. He heard the shower stop. He knew she was in the next room, and he wanted to see her. He tried to take a step, but lost his balance, falling back on the bed. He pounded on the bed with his fists as he pulled his body back to its prone position. He could feel the anger rise up inside of him struggling to get free. He raised himself back to a setting position.

"AAAaaaaaaarggh!" He roared his displeasure at the wall separating them. Buffy heard him through the wall, and came running into his room. He was setting up in bed, his eyes flashing. She came to him and crawled up beside him.

He looked at her angrily. "Aaaarggh!"

Wesley and Spike ran into the room, Gunn right behind them.

"Buffy," called Wesley, "get away from him." Gunn moved closer to the bed, and Buffy. Angel glared at him, and changed to his game face.

"Gunn," warned Buffy, "move away from us. Move back toward the door."

Angel grabbed her arm, pulling her to him. She didn't fight him as he wrapped his arm around her body.

"Wesley," she looked at him calmly, "get them out of here. I can handle this." He nodded, and backed out the door, one hand on Gunn's arm. He shook him off.

"I am not going to leave her alone with him. He is dangerous." Spike leaned against the wall watching the proceedings.

"Go on. She knows what to do. If anyone can handle him it's her." He closed the door after the other two men, and leaned against the wall. Angel glared at him, still in game face.

Spike laughed, "That's okay. I'm not too happy to see you either." He looked at Buffy who had remained silent while Angel held her tightly in one arm. "Slayer, you do know who has you right now, don't you? I don't think your poof is in his right mind just about now. This smells like the demon to me. Am I right, Angelus?"

The vampire on the bed looked at him, his eyes flashing golden. Buffy trembled in his embrace, and he felt it.

"Spike," she whispered, "just leave us. I can handle this. Please go now." He moved toward the door turning the handle to show Gunn and Wesley in the hallway with a frightened Fred. "Okay, but I will be right out here." He closed the door, and joined the rest of them in the hallway.

"What the hell is going on," asked Gunn, "I have never seen Angel like that before."

Spike leaned against the wall next to the door.

"That's because that isn't Angel in there. That is Angelus."

Buffy tried to remain still in the angry vampire's arm. He wrapped his other arm around her, and pulled her into his lap. She looked into his eyes, and saw the confusion there. She reached up to touch his face, but he moved away from her, tightening his hold as he did.

She tried talking to him quietly, "What is it? Are you in pain? Let me help you. I just want to help you." She tried to move away, but he pulled her back to him. She tried again to touch him, and he allowed her to. She touched his lips, and fangs with her fingertips, careful not to cut her fingers on their razor sharp tips. She turned around to where she could face him taking his face in her hands.

"I know you're in there, and you know I am here. If he doesn't get better, then you don't get better."

She closed her eyes, and kissed his lips. "I am not afraid of you anymore." She rested her forehead against his ridged one. He could hear her heart beating loudly with her struggle to remain calm. She opened her eyes to find she was once again looking into Angel's deep brown eyes.

"Buf-fy"

She smiled at him. "I'm right here." He loosened his hold, allowing her to move out of his lap, but wouldn't take his arm from around her.

"Spike," she called into the hallway. The blonde vampire opened the door, and stuck his head in the room. "Tell everyone he is okay."

Spike looked at Angel setting up in bed, his arm wrapped around Buffy possessively. "I don't give a damn if he's okay, are you okay?"

She smiled at him. "I told you I could handle him. Will you please tell Wesley we need to feed him soon?"

Spike glared at her. "I'll tell him." He shut the door leaving them alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 8

Another Note: The poem in this story is Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet 22 When our Two Souls. It comes from the book Sonnets from the Portuguese, which we all know Angel gave Buffy for her eighteenth birthday.

Spike paced the lobby as Gunn and Fred stood by in silence. Wesley stood at the doorway, staring out at the garden without really seeing it. He turned to see Spike glaring at him.

"Whose bloody idea was it to give him her blood, was it yours or hers?"

Wesley didn't answer but turned back to the doorway. Gunn reacted to the revelation. "Wait a minute. I heard she fed herself to him before. Why did his demon come out this time?"

Spike was furious. He whirled around to face them all. "You stupid wankers! For you to be people who work and live with a vampire you don't really know a damn thing about them. Angel up there has not fed from a human in almost one hundred years and who is his first taste? A Slayer, and not just any Slayer but one he happens to be in love with. He marks her. She has super healing, she bears no scars, but she does have his mark. She is his mate. The next time he drinks from a human who is it but that same Slayer. Hell yes, you brought his demon out. Do you think Angelus isn't going to get a taste of his mate and not make his presence known?" He glared at Wesley. "Your supposed to be a Watcher, you damn well should know this."

Wesley glanced at all of them before answering evenly. "It was Buffy's decision, I supported her in it and I am not a Watcher anymore."

Spike lit a cigarette with unsteady hands. "It doesn't matter, you should have known this could happen. She might have him under control for now but do you think he is just going to back down? He has tasted her again and he wants her. You all saw it. How do you plan to protect her?"

Gunn answered him, "Yeah, but she is the Slayer. She can take care of Angelus again if he pops up. I heard she kicked his ass before."

Spike turned away in disgust. "At what cost to her? What makes you think she could put him down again? She would let him kill her first."

Fred was crying and Gunn went to her. He held her as she sobbed. "But she wouldn't just let Angelus kill her."

Spike turned to glare at all of them. He pointed his finger at Fred. "How the hell would you know? You don't know a damn thing about her except what that bitch, Cordelia, has lied to you about." He walked up to Wesley, looking him in the eye. "If anything happens to her I am holding you responsible. You got her to come here. You say you aren't her Watcher, well I am changing that right now. While she is here, you watch, and you better watch close. I may have a soul now but I'm not Angel, I will still kill you."

The vampire turned and headed downstairs into the basement. He stopped at the doorway. "Oh, she wants you to help her feed him soon. You just better make very sure what you feed him."

Connor remained silent in his hiding place beneath the stairs. He had found he could hear much of what was going on downstairs. He was in shock to learn Buffy had given Angel her blood once again. He had read the rest of the journals he had stolen from Wesley and he was firm in his belief that Buffy had brought shame to the name that was Slayer and had shirked her duties on more than one occasion. The only other Slayer was still in prison so he felt sure that with Buffy's death another would be called in her place. Surely the Watcher's Council would not want the Hellmouth to remain unguarded. He still felt sick to his stomach to think of her lying with the undead demon upstairs. Their relationship was an abomination and he planned to see she was punished for it. He still could not believe Wesley or her former Watcher had not turned her over to the Council. If he could only find a way to get up there unnoticed then he could finish off Angel and take care of his beloved Slayer. He waited until he was sure everyone had left the lobby and then escaped through the garden entrance again. It would be night soon so he would have to wait until tomorrow to return. He could not take the chance on the other vampire they called Spike to discover him. He smiled as he made his way over the wall and down the street. He had plenty of time and much planning to do.

Wesley stood outside Angel's door, Gunn and Fred at his side. He slowly opened the door to hear the sound of Buffy's voice as she read to the ailing vampire. Her voice was melodic as she verbally caressed each word of what he instantly recognized as poetry. He peered inside to see Angel lying once more on his pillows, a serene smile on his face as she continued on with the prose.

`When our two souls stand up erect and strong, Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher, Until the lengthening wings break into fire At either curved point, -- what bitter wrong Can the earth do to us, that we should not long Be here contented? Think. In mounting higher, The angels would press on us, and aspire To drop some golden orb of perfect song Into our deep, dear silence. Let us stay Rather on earth, Beloved, -- where the unfit Contrarious moods of men recoil away And isolate pure spirits, and permit A place to stand and love in for a day, With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.'

He closed the door quietly and turned to find Gunn, holding a silently crying Fred in the hallway. He moved away from them, down the stairs and to the kitchen, pausing to lean against the counter. Wesley felt guilty for many of the mistakes he had made in his life. Spike's words had angered him because he knew they were all too true. Once again he knew he had failed Buffy. He had been so desperate to somehow atone for Connor's kidnapping his only purpose was in restoring Angel and doing whatever it took to achieve that purpose. He had played on Buffy's emotions, using her love for Angel to bring her here. It was her unnerving demeanor that haunted him. She hadn't shown any fear in Angelus's presence and he wondered if Spike was right and she would allow the demon to harm her. He was startled out of his reverie by Fred and Gunn entering the room behind him. Fred sat down at the table, wiping her face.

Gunn rubbed his head in confusion. "I don't understand why you are so upset now. She calmed him down again and he's happy as a clam right now. You know Angel, he loves that poetry stuff."

"I know. I know." Fred ran her hand over her hair, nervously pushing it away from her face. "It's just I think I have made a terrible mistake. I need to talk to Lorne."

"You know he's still in Las Vegas doing his nightclub thing."

"Well, I'm still going to call him. He needs to say goodbye to sin city and come home now." She turned on her heel and hurried out of the kitchen, leaving a still confused Gunn behind her.

He turned to Wesley, "Any idea what has her so worked up?"

The dark haired man absently shook his head and turned to the refrigerator to retrieve Angel's nightly meal of blood. Gunn watched him as he heated it slightly before pouring it into a glass. Wesley met his gaze and left the kitchen, heading up the stairs to Angel and Buffy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 9

Wesley sat in a chair in Angel's room, watching him sleep. The vampire was mumbling, but he couldn't really make out his words. When he had come up a few days ago, bringing the glass of blood for Angel, Buffy had been adamant about continuing to add her own to his supply. They would not feed him pure Slayer blood again, but would add a little at a time to his supply. His physical condition had continued to improve, but his mind was still full of blank spots. He recognized Buffy and called Wesley by name, but hadn't really seemed interested in knowing either Gunn or Fred. Wesley wondered if only portions of his memory were returning at this point, so he just hadn't gotten to his memories of them yet. Cordelia had called and talked to Fred, but he was relieved she hadn't made an appearance. It was only a matter of time though. He looked down at his watch. Buffy had been gone about an hour and Angel had slept through it. He only hoped everything was going well at her end.

Faith walked the long corridor of the prison for what she knew would be her last time. There was no way in hell she would ever be back in this place. She stood at the iron door, waiting on the guard to finish processing her release papers. She self-consciously ran her hands over the sleeves of her new jacket. It had been a nice surprise when they had brought her the package earlier. Inside she had found a new pair of black jeans and matching jacket. Something red caught her eye and she unfolded it to reveal a red drawstring tank top. The new black boots were just her size and it made her smile to realize she wouldn't have to leave in the same prison issue they gave to everyone who got out of here. She heard the sound of the door sliding open and stepped through it. The clock on the wall told her it was still light outside so Angel wouldn't be here to greet her. Her heart sank at the realization. If he wasn't out there, then there wouldn't be anyone waiting for her.

"Come on, I haven't got all day. Are you leaving or not?" She jerked her head up to see the guard looking at her.

She nodded at him and headed down the sidewalk toward the gate. A white SUV pulled up on the other side and she stopped and stared. A tiny blonde got out and stood there, looking in her direction. Faith choked back a sob as she realized it was Buffy. She walked through the gate and stood there, each of them waiting for the other one. Buffy took two steps toward her.

"Faith" She looked at the dark haired girl, recognizing the pain in her eyes.

Faith walked up to her, stopping a few feet in front of her. "B, it's really you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Just little old Buffy."

Faith searched her face for some sign. She fingered her jacket again. "The clothes, you bought me the clothes. Thank you, I like them. You even got the size right."

"It wasn't hard. You look good."

"So do you, you look good." She took a deep breath. "It's not that I'm not glad to see you, it's just unexpected. You are the last person I thought would be here."

"Sometimes things change. Hopefully for the better."

"So I guess Angel told you I was getting out and that's why you're here. Because, you know, he couldn't be."

"Yeah, something like that. Angel hasn't exactly been Angel, lately. I'll explain on the way to the hotel."

"Okay, but do you think we can do one thing first?"

"What's that?"

"Can we get a cheeseburger? I am starving for some real food."

Cordelia hurriedly entered the lobby of the Hyperion. She had kept her word and stayed away but now she wanted to know what was going on. She had tried in vain to get information, but Fred wouldn't tell her anything but Angel was doing better. She knew they were keeping things from her and she felt she deserved more consideration than she was receiving from the rest of the A.I. team. Wesley had acted like he was in charge and a part of their group again and that was the first thing she planned to rectify. If anyone should be in charge, it should be her. She hadn't even seen Angel for days so who knows what kind of shape he could be in with Buffy taking care of him. She felt a twinge of guilt where the blonde Slayer was considered, but not enough to just step aside and let her take her place with the team. Finding no one in the lobby she quietly made her way up the stairs to Angel's room. Opening the door slowly, she saw Wesley reading in a chair near Angel's bed. The vampire lay sleeping and Buffy was nowhere to be seen. She walked over to his bedside and reached out to touch him. His eyes flew open and he moved away from her.

Wesley jumped up from his chair. "What are you doing in here?"

She tried to touch Angel again, but he flinched away from her. This made her angry, as she realized he still didn't know her. "Angel, she whispered. She reached to pull up his covers and he grabbed her hand in a vise like grip. His eyes flashed golden and he growled deep in his chest. She tried to pull her hand away but he continued to hold on and she was scared. "Angel, she cried, it's me, Cordy. You know me."

He pushed her away from him, causing her to fall. Wesley pulled her up and pushed her toward the door. He shoved her into the hallway, right into the arms of a surprised Gunn. "Cordelia, what are you doing in there?"

She jerked away from them and ran down the stairs to the lobby. She looked toward the front door as Buffy walked in with Faith. Everyone stopped at the sight of the two Slayers, one light, one dark, standing side by side. Cordelia was shocked. "Oh no, you are not bringing her here. It's bad enough having you here, but she is not staying here too." She looked up at Wesley on the top of the stairs. "She tried to kill you, remember? You told Buffy she was getting out, didn't you?"

He didn't bother with a reply, choosing to look to Buffy and nod at Faith.

Cordelia advanced on Buffy. "What did you do to Angel? He still doesn't know me. I know you did something to him, but he will get his memory back and you will be just that, a memory."

Faith stepped between Buffy and Cordelia, giving the seer the once over. Buffy ignored the angry woman and headed up the stairs. Faith took a good look at Cordelia and grinned. "Your hair, she pointed at Cordelia's head and shook her head.

"What's wrong with my hair?"

Faith laughed. "What isn't?" She turned away and headed up the stairs after Buffy.

Gunn confronted Cordelia. "Don't you think you have caused enough trouble for today? Why don't you just go home?"

She turned to face him, her face red with fury. "You can't just push me away like I don't matter anymore. I am the one who has been here for Angel, fighting side by side. I have the right to know how he is and what she is doing to him while he can't defend himself." She moved over to Fred, who was standing behind the lobby desk. "You don't know what is going on up there. What if she is hurting him?"

Gunn grinned at her, an amused expression on his face.

"What is so damn funny?" she fumed.

He started to laugh. "You are. You are jealous of Buffy. That's what your problem is. Your jealous of her."

Cordelia glared at him. "I am not jealous of her. She is a loser and always will be a loser. She has never brought Angel anything but heartache and pain and he doesn't deserve it."

Fred spoke, "Buffy hasn't hurt Angel. She is helping him to get better. We have all seen it."

Cordelia replied harshly, "Fred, you are an idiot. If you won't help me get her out of here then I will find someone who will." She hurried to the doorway and left the building.

"I am not an idiot, mumbled Fred, "when Lorne gets here you will see what I mean."

"You talked to Lorne, asked Gunn. "Just now, she replied smiling. "He is coming home tomorrow and then we will just see who is the idiot."

Spike stood inside Angel's door, watching his grandsire change from his vampiric image to his human and back again. He had heard Cordelia screaming in the lobby below and all he really wanted to do was snap her neck and shut her up. He felt a twinge in his middle from what he now knew was his soul. Damn it all. Sometimes having the damn thing was a pain in the ass. He walked over to his grandsire, taking a seat by the bed. "Sucks lying there all helpless, doesn't it. I know I wouldn't want to be where you are. I do want you to know that hell spawn of yours has been watching us around here. I figure he's looking to finish what he started, but that would only upset Buffy and we can't have that, can we? I am keeping an eye on him, but if he makes a move I will take care of him. I'm telling you now, me having this soul doesn't make me like you. I will still do whatever is necessary."

Angel reverted back to his human face, staring at Spike intently. "I know you. Don't I?"

Spike laughed. "I'm your ugly past, mate. But everything in it's own time."

Buffy entered the room while Faith remained in the doorway. "Spike, is he okay?"

He stood and stepped around her. "If he wasn't, you would already know it, wouldn't you?"

He looked at Faith. "So, you're the other Slayer, huh?" Faith remained still as the blonde vampire looked her up and down.

"Spike, this is Faith."

He reached for her, touching her cheek as he studied her face. "Seems I'm not the only one learning to live with a new soul." Dropping his hand, he left the room, his duster flaring behind him.

~~~~

Willow struggled with her keys as she tried to open the front door. She hadn't heard from Buffy in a few days and she was worried. She dropped her bag in the floor and grabbed the phone. "Hello." She moved the receiver away from her ear as she heard an angry Cordelia on the other end.

"What is it? Is something wrong with Buffy?" Cordelia snorted in disgust.

"Buffy, no nothing's wrong with Buffy. She is just up here doing something to Angel, so he still doesn't know any of us, but her. You know it isn't safe for her and Angel to be around each other. What if she tried to take advantage of him in his weakened state and he can't fight her off?"

Willow had listened to about all she wanted to. "Cordelia, Buffy isn't going to do anything to hurt Angel. Why don't you tell me the real reason you called." She could almost hear the other woman's wheels turning at the other end of the phone.

"Willow, did you know Buffy was going to get Faith out of jail? As a matter of fact, she is at the hotel with Buffy and the others right now. Do you think she can be trusted? I don't think so. I wish you would come up here and talk to Buffy. You could persuade her to go home, it's for the best, you know it is. Angel and Buffy were over a long time ago. What's going to happen when he gets his memory back and he wonders why she is even here? You don't want her to be hurt again, do you?"

Willow sighed heavily, "You and I know you don't give a damn whether Buffy is hurt or not. I have to go now. I will check in with her and see what's up, okay? Bye."

Willow hung up the phone and sank down in the nearest chair. "Faith was out of jail and with Buffy?" She didn't know that she had liked hearing that piece of news. She thought about calling Xander, but she knew she didn't want to hear his take on the whole matter. They had already argued over Buffy even being in Los Angeles. She looked at her watch. Dawn would be home any minute from school. She would get them both some dinner and then she would call the hotel. Someone there could surely tell her what was going on.

~~~~

Faith was setting on the roof, watching the sunset, when Wesley joined her. "It's beautiful, isn't it? I didn't get to see many of these in prison. I couldn't stay inside when I finally had a chance to get out here."

"I understand. Did you leave Buffy with Angel?"

"Yeah, he's really antsy after the Cordelia thing. It's eerie, those two. They speak without words. He looks at her, she nods, so on. She knows what he needs. But then they were always like that, until I screwed them up. They've been apart for a long time, haven't they?"

"Yes, they have. He thought he was in love with Cordelia before all this happened."

"What? No way. What would make him think something stupid like that?"

"I think he had some help and some pushing them towards each other."

"If that's true then why did you bring Buffy here? Why didn't you just let Cordelia take care of him?"

"Because he didn't know any of us when I brought him back here. Not even Cordy. But he knew Buffy. I knew she was the only one to help him then. I should have thought about her feelings though and I didn't. She has already given too much of herself for his recovery."

"I will help her all I can. I owe her, big time. I haven't forgotten that. I would like to go out for a little while. Does anyone still patrol around here?"

"Yes, Gunn does. Let me see if he is able to go with you."

Spike stepped out of the shadows. "I need to get out of here too. I will go with you."

Faith looked at him skeptically. "You patrol?"

He smirked as he held her gaze until she looked away. "Hey, Angel isn't the only vamp to ever hunt with a Slayer."

She raised her head, a smile on her lips. "Wesley, please tell B I won't be long." She headed for the stairs, turning to look back at Spike. "Coming?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 10

Buffy stretched her small frame and opened her eyes. Angel lay just inches away from her, his eyes closed in slumber. She remembered how agitated he was after Cordelia's visit. She had done her best to calm him; he wouldn't let her out of his sight, and in doing so she had once again fallen asleep here in his bed. She took the opportunity to study his face. Here he was in front of her, the one love of her life. His face looked the same except for the brow, furrowed in what appeared to be concentration and maybe, pain. She stroked his cheek gently. Being this close to him was wonderful and she didn't want him to wake up and catch her studying him. She traced his brow with her finger, smiling when she saw his face relax. He was improving daily, his physical strength was returning, only his mind remained a blank. She thought he caught glimpses of recognition now and again but for the most part he still seemed far removed from getting his memory back. She felt him move and she stiffened, waiting for him to relax once more. He stretched his arm across her, pulling her up against his chest. She did not move as he rubbed her back, slow lazy circles with his fingertips. She couldn't raise her head to look at him as her face was even with his throat. His face was buried in her hair and she heard him breathe in deeply. She trembled in his arms as he raised his head and looked down at her. Her hazel eyes were full of hope and something else he couldn't understand. He had awakened to feel her hand on his face but kept his eyes closed because it felt so familiar, so right to have her here with him like this. He was intrigued at how well her small body fit into his large one. It seemed they were made for each other and Angel knew they had been like this before, many times. He felt her tremble in his arms again and he continued to rub her back and shoulders, his hands and fingers reacquainting themselves with her form. She moved closer to him, her head beneath his chin. She knew she shouldn't be here but she needed the comfort, her body and soul still cried out for his. She wanted to remember what it was like when he had still loved her, when she could feel safe and protected in his arms. No one had ever made her feel so warm, so loved. He could hear her breathing become steady and he knew she fallen asleep. He laid there staring into the darkness, listening to the sound of her breathing. A tear rolled down his face but he didn't know why. Then a wave of sadness passed over him and he remembered.

"I want my life to be with you."

" I don't."

They had been apart for a long time and he had been the one that walked away. He looked down at her sleeping face and kissed her forehead. He pulled her up onto his chest and she snuggled into him, sighing in her sleep. He lay there for a long time, staring into the darkness, listening to the sound of her breathing. He still didn't know how he got here or what happened to him but he knew she was the key to everything for him. He didn't know what had happened between them, only that she was here now. He didn't ever want to be without her again.

Spike and Faith moved quietly through the streets. They had been patrolling for a couple of hours but everything was quiet tonight. Their hands had accidentally touched a couple of times and Faith found herself wondering about the blonde vampire next to her. She used to wonder what it would be like having sex with the undead after witnessing Buffy and Angel's relationship. The electricity in the air and the energy that still flowed from the two of them a blind man could see. When she had walked into his room today she had still felt it. All of the feelings, all of their love was still evident even if buried under the surface. Angel had never liked to talk about Buffy when he had visited her in prison. When she brought her up, he always tried to change the subject. She knew he still loved her, even if he tried to pretend it was otherwise. She had seen Spike looking at her from time to time from the corner of her eye. She realized she didn't just want the sex. She wanted the passion, the love that had always remained out of her reach. She trembled but she wasn't cold. She felt cool fingers reach for her own and she placed her hand in his. She looked over at him and he smiled at her, leaning closer he kissed her cheek. She didn't meet his gaze, but looked down at their clasped hands. They moved on down the street, enjoying the night, forgetting patrolling, their silence hung in the air, but it was comforting. Spike felt like the two of them had the same long road ahead of them. They both needed to find their redemption and maybe, just maybe they could help each other in their journey.

Lorne stood outside Angel's bedroom door, his hand on the knob. He turned back to see Fred behind him, urging him on. He had arrived at the hotel less than an hour ago, breaking all the speed limits in answer to Fred's frantic phone call. He had stood in the lobby while she had filled him in on the recent events. He still couldn't believe they had not just one, but two vampires and two Slayers under their roof at this time. He had to admit he was curious to see the little woman who was once Angel's greatest love. They had explained Cordelia's absence but he was still confused and from the unhappy looks on Fred and Gunn's faces they really didn't want to discuss the seer at the moment. He had been surprised to hear Wesley was also staying at the hotel while Angel was recuperating. He was even more shocked to hear how he had rescued Angel and brought Buffy here to help him. He still didn't think going in Angel's room was a good idea right now but Fred was adamant.

"They are both probably asleep. I just want you to see her. I can't wait for you to meet her. Maybe we can get her to sing for you."

"Now Fredikins, you can't just make a Slayer sing for you. I don't see us making her do much of anything if she doesn't want to. But it would be interesting."

"Lorne, this hasn't anything to do with her being a Slayer. Just open the door and see her."

He opened the door slowly and stepped inside the room. His eyes adjusted quickly to the dimness and he realized Fred had quietly closed the door behind him. He looked at the couple asleep on the bed. The tiny woman was lying on Angel's chest and he had his arms wrapped protectively around her. He could hear her steady breathing and knew she was in a deep sleep. He took a step closer to get a better look at them and was taken aback at the looks of serenity on their faces. The air in the room was thick with emotions too strong to name and he felt like the intruder he was. The little blonde shifted in her sleep, burrowing deeper into Angel's embrace. He stepped quickly to the door when he realized he heard a slight hum coming from the bed. He looked back at the sleeping pair and realized the sound was coming from Angel. He fled the confines of the room, pausing in the hallway to catch his breath. Moving quickly he headed down the stairs to rejoin Fred. He followed her into the kitchen where Wesley sat at the table waiting for them.

"Fred, he admonished, "do you think it was really wise having Lorne spy on Buffy and Angel that way? I don't think she would have been very comfortable having the two of you watching her sleep. I am sure Angel would have an opinion about it too if he were himself right now."

She hung her head like a scolded child. "I am sorry Wesley. I just really wanted Lorne to see her and to see, you know, them."

She looked about to cry and Wesley mentally kicked himself for his harshness. He tiredly got to his feet.

"No, I am sorry. I guess I am just tired and I shouldn't be taking it out on you. It's just that when Angel gets upset it takes a while for Buffy to calm him down again." He looked over at Lorne. "It is good to see you again. I think I am going to bed now. It has been a long night and Faith and Spike haven't returned yet. I hope everything is okay."

Fred waited until Wesley walked upstairs and out of sight. She turned and grinned at Lorne. "So you saw them. What did you think?"

Lorne looked at her warily. "What exactly were you expecting me to see little one?"

Fred continued to smile at him. "Never mind. You'll meet her tomorrow. Oh and the other one too." She patted him on the shoulder. "I'm going to bed. See you later."

Lorne watched as she disappeared up the stairs and then sank down in the chair. "Okay, he thought to himself. "You have just witnessed something your relatives had only told you about."

He reached into the cabinet where he knew they kept the liquor. He poured himself a shot and downed it. He didn't need the little blonde upstairs to sing for him. He could read her like an open book. Her aura projected, her soul screamed and Angel, Angel was up there literally purring. He knew vampires didn't purr, unless they were happy, content, unless they felt safe. He knew that was something no one here had ever seen him do before. He knew he needed to sleep but he was too excited at the prospect of meeting Buffy tomorrow, and the other two, Spike and Faith, Angel's grandchilde and the dark Slayer. "This is going to be interesting. Very interesting."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 11

Faith paced nervously in the hallway outside of Buffy's room. She could hear the shower running so she was waiting for her to come out before she ventured downstairs. She was still very nervous about being here with everything she had done to some of the hotel's occupants. She had opened her eyes this morning to find Spike asleep on the bed beside her. She remembered returning to the hotel just before dawn and they had gone to her room. She had been nervous but he hadn't made any kind of moves on her and for once in her life she was relieved. They had crawled up on her bed and just talked. She found the blonde vampire seemed to understand how she felt about so many things. Buffy had told her once she and Angel could talk for hours and at the time she had treated it all as a joke. Now she understood what it meant to have someone to talk to, someone who listened to you. It was a very new thing for her, but she liked it. The shower ceased and she could hear Buffy moving about her room. She knocked at her door.

"B? It's me."

"Come in. It's not locked."

Buffy was standing in the far corner of the room getting dressed. She pulled the tank top over her head and adjusted the straps. Her hair was wet and she reached for her comb by the bed.

"Here, let me." Faith took the comb and began to run it through her hair. Buffy looked in the mirror and into Faith's face.

"You okay?"

Faith licked her lips nervously. "Actually I wanted a cup of coffee but I didn't want to go down just yet." Buffy smiled at her, understanding on her face.

"How about we go down together?"

Faith finished combing out her hair. "B, I want you to know I slept in the same bed with Spike but I didn't do him."

Buffy leaned over to push a strand of hair out of Faith's eyes. "It's okay, Faith. I slept with Angel last night and I didn't do him either."

Faith brushed a lone tear from her eye. "Are you sure about this, you know me being here? How can you ever forgive me for the things I have done."

Buffy sat in silence for a moment. She reached for Faith's hand. "How about you, Faith? Can you forgive me for what I did to you? I tried to kill you, remember?"

Faith's voice was a whisper but Buffy could still hear her. "There is nothing to forgive. I missed you, B. I want to stay with you if it's okay."

Buffy rose from the bed and gave the dark Slayer a hug. "Whatever comes next, we are in it together, okay?" Faith grinned at her. "It's more than okay."

Gunn looked up from his place behind the lobby desk as the two women came down the stairs. He had caught a glimpse of the one they called Faith yesterday but now here they both were, side by side. Where Buffy was light, Faith was dark. Buffy walked up to him, still holding Faith's hand.

"Gunn, I would like you to meet Faith. Faith this is Charles Gunn."

He smiled broadly at the dark haired girl. "Just call me Gunn, ma'am. Always ready to be at the service of the Slayers."

Someone cleared their throat and they all turned to see the green skinned demon standing in the doorway of the kitchen. He was wearing a red leisure suit with gold buttons and the two Slayers couldn't help but smile.

"I see how it is. Leave you alone for a minute and you are flirting with the ladies." He winked at them both and grinned. "Not that I could blame him. You two are quite the pair."

Buffy stepped forward, extending her hand. "You must be Lorne. Fred told me about you."

He took her hand in both of his and searched her face. "She told me a little about you too, baby doll. What we know anyway. You are a bit of a mystery to some of us here."

She didn't reply but retrieved her hand and looked at the other girl. "Ready for that coffee?"

Lorne watched as the two Slayers headed into the kitchen. He frowned. Last night the little blonde had seemed so peaceful, so happy in her slumber. Today, she was closed off, guarded. She was keeping her emotions in check and he wondered if he would ever get to see that in her again. The other girl was an open wound, gaping and bleeding. Together the pair of them were poster children for misery. He caught Gunn's look and followed him up the stairs. He was going to try talking to Buffy again later. For now he had to let her be.

Angel stood by his bedside. He was tired but all he could think of was a bath. He walked into the bathroom, turning on the water and peeling his clothes off. He stepped in and let the hot water rush over his body. He sank down in the water up to his neck and let the memories wash over him. He remembered being brought here by Wesley, people arguing downstairs, the same people standing over him. And he remembered Buffy. He smiled. She was here in the building. She wasn't far. He could feel her presence and it comforted him. It seemed like every since they had brought him to this room she had been there with him. He had watched her sleep, seen her smile at him. She had been with him almost every minute. He hurriedly finished his bath. He got out and went back to the bedroom. Looking in the closet he frowned at the shirts there. `Were all these silky shirts his?'

He frowned and then found a white t- shirt in a drawer. Pulling on a pair of black sweats he stood and looked around. He felt better than he had in a long time. He was tired of being in this room. He opened the door and stepped into the hallway. He heard voices coming from further down the hallway but he knew Buffy wasn't there. He walked to the top of the stairs and looked down them. She was down there. He carefully made his way down the steps. He could feel her near and started in that direction when he stopped. He could see out a glass door in front of him to a garden outside. He wanted to go out there and sit for a while. Maybe she would sit with him. He started toward the door and to the sunlight.

Buffy was only half listening to Wesley and Fred in the kitchen. Fred had insisted on feeding all of them again and she didn't have the heart to turn her down. Faith had cleaned her plate in no time, no doubt still trying to get the taste of prison food out of her mouth. Buffy felt a cold chill pass over her and she looked up to see everyone watching her. She jumped to her feet and ran from the room.

"B, what's wrong?"

Buffy made it to the lobby just as Angel was almost to the glass door.

"Angel, no!" She tackled him, knocking him to the floor. Her scream had the others running to the lobby. They watched in silence as she held him down while Fred quickly closed the heavy curtains over the door. She was shaking as she rolled over and sat up beside him. "You can't go outside. Your not well."

She could feel the tears come and she tried to hold them back. She looked into his eyes and could see the realization dawning. He touched her face, wiping away the tears that had escaped.

"If I go outside I will die." He said it as a statement not a question and she knew he understood.

"Yes, you will. You can only go outside after sunset."

"I wanted to sit in the sun with you."

"I'm sorry. You can't do that. But I will sit in the moonlight with you. It's nice, really nice."

"We used to take walks in the moonlight, didn't we?"

"Yes, we did. Long walks in the moonlight."

"I remember. I remember being with you."

Angel looked around and noticed everyone standing around them. He turned back to Buffy. Leaning toward her, he kissed her gently. His voice came in a whisper but they all heard him.

"I remember I love you."

He pulled her to him and kissed her again, more passionately. Buffy choked back a sob and pushed away from him. She rolled to her knees facing him, tears still flowing down her cheeks. Her voice broke as she answered him.

"When you get better, you will remember you don't."

She jumped to her feet and turned away from him. She ran past the others and up the stairs where she came face to face with Spike at the top. He hated seeing her in this much pain but was powerless to do anything about it. She rushed past him and disappeared into her room. He looked down the stairs to see Faith watching him, her eyes shiny with tears also. Spike went down the stairs to Angel. He reached down and offered him his hand.

"Come on. We better get you back upstairs." The dark haired man looked up at him.

"Spike"

Spike helped him to his feet; Faith came to them, taking Angel's other arm. They took him back to his room, setting him on his bed. Through the wall they could hear the broken sobs coming from the room next door. Angel looked up at them, pain evident on his face. He lay down, turning away from them toward the wall. Spike took Faith's hand and led her out of the room. She leaned against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself.

"This is terrible, she whispered, "Maybe I should go to her. But I don't know what to say."

"I would leave her for a while, pet. I think she had rather be alone right now."

"That's just it. She's always alone, isn't she? In a room full of people, she will always be alone. I understand how that feels."

"You don't have to be alone anymore. And we will be here for her. When she needs us, we will be waiting for her."

Downstairs the others stood in shock as Faith and Spike led Angel back up the stairs. Fred moved back to the kitchen, taking a seat at the table and wiping her eyes. Wesley felt as if he couldn't will his body to move. They had all just intruded on something that was very private, very personal. He glanced over at Gunn. The black man's face was a mask as he stared at the floor.

"I have to go out for a while. I will see you later."

The other man nodded and Wesley went out the front door.

Lorne had stepped into Angel's office, sinking down into a chair. His head hurt, his felt like his own heart was broken. He had never seen such emotion in any two beings in his long life. His family had told him once that within his gift he might be lucky enough one day to witness something few demons like them ever did.

` Joined by love and fate, a pair of soulmates, two halves of a whole. Their auras will be blinding; their souls were intertwined; the light and the dark will come together and a balance will be formed.'

Watching Buffy and Angel in the lobby made him want to cry. This was what they had been talking about. He knew something about Angel had always been missing. He had let him read him and in doing so he had made foolish assumptions. What he thought was Angel's love and need for Cordelia was really his soul's cry for Buffy. Everything made sense to him now. He shook his head sadly.

"But what can I do about it?" He thought for a moment then smiled. "Maybe there is something I can do."

He reached across the desk for the phone, dialing a familiar number. "Hello, yes this is Lorne. I'm back, just got home yesterday. I'm at the hotel. Yes, yes, now hold on just a minute. I need to talk to you. I have something to say and I need you to listen. Can you do that? Okay, here goes."

Buffy sat against the wall in her room for a long time. She had cried until she was tearless, that familiar feeling of numbness sweeping over her. She hadn't felt this miserable in a while now. She had been doing well before Wesley had showed up in Sunnydale. What ever made her think she could come here and not have it open up old wounds that had never really healed to begin with. She knew Angel was awake next door. She could feel him just as strongly as she ever had and she knew he could feel her in return. He was starting to remember more and more and maybe she could go home soon. She was glad Faith and Spike were here or she would feel completely alone. Angel's group was nice to her but she didn't know any of them very well. She missed Willow. She needed someone to talk to about all of this. Spike wouldn't do and her relationship with Faith was still too new and raw right now to do such soul baring. She was exhausted after today and just wanted to sleep. She knew she should check on Angel but she would know if he wasn't okay. She climbed up on her bed and went to sleep.

In the next room Angel lay in the darkness staring at the ceiling. She had said he didn't love her. What did she mean by that? He wasn't sure of too many things right now but he knew what he felt for her. What he had always felt for her. She had stopped crying a while ago and he knew she was asleep. He was remembering more and more. When she told him he couldn't go outside something had clicked. He hadn't been in the sunlight in a long time. He only went out at night. The two people who brought him back up here. He knew Spike, but wasn't sure from where. The woman, Faith, Buffy had told him her name but he knew he had already met her before. He wanted to remember everything and be done with it but he was also scared of what he would find out. He listened and he knew she was still asleep next door. He wanted to go to her but he didn't want to upset her more. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. But sleep doesn't necessarily mean peace. Both slept fitfully, tossing and turning, their emotions in turmoil. They both finally stilled as deep sleep overtook them and the silence wrapped around them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 12

Willow opened the front door to find Wesley standing there. She had never seen him so upset as she stepped back to let him inside. "What is it, is Buffy okay? What about Angel?"

He set down on the sofa. "Are we alone?"

"Yes, Dawn is at a friends house. She is staying the weekend."

"Good, I am here for your help. I need to know everything you know about Angel's curse. Do you still have Miss Calendar's research?"

"Well, yes, I kept everything. What is this about?"

" I want to know if we can fix his curse. I want to find a way to make sure his soul is bound."

"But why? Why now? What has happened? You are scaring me."

He rose to his feet. "I have much to tell you and not much time to do it. I need to be back in L.A. tonight. I want you to gather up everything you have and come with me. I need your help to help them."

"Who are you wanting to help? If this is for Cordelia, forget it. I am not helping her."

He looked at the redhead in irritation. "This hasn't anything to do with Cordelia. This is for Angel and Buffy. Are you going to help me or not?"

Willow's face brightened as she grinned at him. "I have it all in one box. Just give me a few minutes."

Buffy sat up in the bed. Something wasn't right. Angel cried out in his room next door and she raced to his side. He was lying on this bed asleep. He was thrashing about and she knew he was having a nightmare. He jumped up and looked at her as if he didn't know her. He backed away from her until he was against the wall. His eyes were shut tight and she went to him. She put her hand on his shoulder but he pulled away from her. His was breathing heavily and kept rubbing his arms as if he were cold. She could see him calm down and he opened his eyes as if seeing her for the first time. She touched his arm, stroking it up to his shoulder before wrapping her arms around him. He leaned over her, smelling her hair. She could feel his breath on the side of her face and neck. He kissed her temple.

"I am so cold, he whispered. "You are the only one who can make me feel warm."

She found herself with her back to the wall as he turned them, his arms wrapped around her small waist. He looked into her hazel eyes. Before she could say anything he leaned in, covering her lips with his own. She hesitated for a moment then returned his kiss. Their bodies melted together as Angel lifted her up in order to gain better access to her mouth. She buried her hands in his hair, stroking his head with her fingertips. He moved to the side of her face, kissing her as he went until he found the scar on her neck. He kissed it and she felt the white heat flow through her. He sucked on his mark and she felt the pressure building below her stomach. He was rubbing and massaging her back and she felt like liquid in his arms. His lips found hers again and she could feel his erection against her thigh. His hand moved down to her bottom and Buffy was jolted back to reality. She tried to pull out of his arms.

"Angel, we can't. You have to put me down. Please stop."

He pulled back and looked at her. "Please, we have to stop."

She was trembling as he sat her on the bed. She struggled to regain some composure.

He was breathing hard, taking in his unnecessary breaths. She stood to leave but he grabbed her wrist in an iron grip.

"No, don't leave, please. I need you to stay with me."

There was a knocking at the door. "I need to get that, she whispered. Faith and Spike stood on the other side.

Faith looked at Buffy, concern in her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, Angel was having a nightmare. He's fine now. Have you two been out?"

"We went on patrol. This town is dead though. You'd think they know there are two Slayers around."

Spike grinned beside her. "They do know. I made sure they knew."

He looked at Buffy. "You already have your hands full in there. Can't have a bunch of vamps bothering you too."

She sighed, running her hand through her hair. Her fingers brushed the scar on her neck where Angel had kissed her earlier. Spike could see it was red and her face was flushed. He could figure out what had happened without too much trouble.

"Could you use some air pet? You look a little flushed. Why don't you take Faith and go for a walk? I'll stay with your boy here."

Buffy looked back at Angel who was setting on the bed, his back to them. "Yeah, I could use some air." She went to Angel. "I am going for a walk with Faith. I won't be gone long." She touched his shoulder. "Spike is going to stay with you and I'll be back soon." He didn't look at her but nodded his head. She went to the door. "I'm warning you, Spike. You had better not upset him."

" I wouldn't think of it. I promise to take really good care of him."

Faith squeezed her hand. "It's a nice night out, B. We will take an hour and then be back, okay?"

Buffy smiled at her. "Yeah, okay."

With one more warning look at Spike she left with Faith. The blonde vampire walked over to his grandsire on the bed. He went to the window and opened the curtains, letting in the moonlight and lights from the city below.

"Let's have a little air in here, shall we? Seeing as how it's the only air we can get might as well make the most of it." "You can't go out in the sunlight, either?"

Spike smiled at the question. " I know you have questions. I have the answers. What do you want to know? Who you are, what you are? How about the details on you and the little blonde there? Just ask. I'm your answer man."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it, he went to the window and looked out. He knew Buffy would be angry with him but he was just going to give him a little push. He knew he would never have Buffy again. Hell, she was never his in the first place. She would always belong to the idiot on the bed behind him. But Angel didn't deserve her. He had walked away from her, not the other way around. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts as he sat down across from him. The sooner this was over, the sooner they could get the hell out of here.

Fred raced around the kitchen in a flurry. She was busy making coffee, making sandwiches. Wesley had called her from Sunnydale and told her he was bringing Willow back with him. She knew a little bit about her. She was Buffy's best friend and she was a very powerful witch. She had also restored Angel's soul when he had lost it before with Buffy. She was nervous, flitting about as Gunn and Lorne watched her in amusement. She stopped for a moment, trying to remember if there was anything she might have forgotten. Gunn chuckled.

"Fred, honey slow down. Everything is done."

She glared at him. "Did you open a window in Willow's room? Does she have towels? We weren't ready when Buffy got here. Her room was dusty; it was dirty. I didn't get to fix it until she was already here." Gunn laughed. "You know she doesn't care about that. She spends most of her time in Angel's room anyway." He looked over at Lorne. "That's where he wants her anyway."

"It doesn't matter. We will be ready for Willow."

Gunn looked out the kitchen doorway. "Has anyone heard from the two upstairs?"

Lorne nodded. "Yes, I saw Faith and Buffy a little while ago. They went for a walk and Spike is upstairs with Angel."

Gunn looked worried. "Is that a good idea? Spike sitting with Angel?"

The demon smiled. "I'm sure it's okay. He knows what Buffy would do to him if he did anything to Angel and I think Faith just might help her, in fact, I'm sure she would."

Buffy and Faith sat down on the bench still wiping the vamp dust from their clothes. "So much for the vampire population knowing we are here."

Buffy leaned back against the bench. "You know how it is. There are always a few who want to test us out anyway."

Faith laughed. "When do you think they realized their mistake? Was it when you waved bye at that one before you staked him?"

The blonde laughed in return. "Boy, how I needed this. The night air, the slayage, I needed the break."

Faith looked over at her. "Your fighting is different than before. Your more polished, your awesome B."

Buffy patted her shoulder. "It's nice being out with you. It's different but still nice. I missed having someone to patrol with." She rose and stretched. "I guess we had better head back. We've been gone a while."

"Yeah, I'm ready. You know how I am after slaying."

Buffy laughed. "Hungry and horny?"

Faith ducked her head. "I just told you that to get a rise out of you."

"Oh, so now your telling me your not, Buffy teased.

"No, I am hungry, very and it has been a long time since I had any of the other. I wonder what Spike is up to. He looks very good to the eyes."

Buffy was quiet. Faith glanced over at her. "He told me about the two of you. He said he was wrong and that it was over. That you made it over."

"I used him and he let me. I treated him very badly. I can only imagine what you must think of me."

"The way he tells it he made you doubt yourself. He wanted you and did anything necessary to make you turn to him. He made you need him. But he isn't Angel. He told me he tried to force you. That was when he realized how much of a monster he really was. He claimed to love you, but he tried to force you to love him."

"Well, he's different now. He has a soul. He helps me again and he has always taken care of Dawn."

"Buffy, Spike and I are alike in many ways. We both still have our dark sides. We are trying to do the right thing but it's always there."

"You like him, don't you? You like him a lot."

"Yeah, I do. I never thought I would be saying this to you but I think maybe I understand better about you and Angel. It isn't about what he is but who he is."

"Yeah, he's still Angel."

"And you still love him. You always have and you always will." She stood up. "I don't know about you, girlfriend but now I am starving and you always look like you need to eat."

"Are you calling me skinny?"

Faith laughed. "Yeah, I'm calling you skinny." She took her arm. "Damn, aren't we something? Two good looking women, walking the streets of L.A." She caught Buffy's look. "Okay, so we are a little dusty. We still look good."

"Damn straight, we look great." They walked down the street.

"Faith?"

"Yeah, B."

"Thanks for tonight."

"No prob."

Lorne looked up from the table to see the two Slayers enter the kitchen. Now this was more like it. They were both laughing and joking with each other. Fred smiled at them.

"Are you hungry? I made sandwiches."

"I'm starving," said Faith, "and this one here can always stand to eat something."

Buffy mock glared at her. "Are you starting with the skinny stuff again?"

Faith winked at Lorne. "Tell this woman she's too skinny."

Lorne looked at her sheepishly. "Baby doll, you are a little on the thin side."

"I don't know about that. She looks pretty good to me." They all turned to the doorway. Buffy jumped to her feet.

"Willow, what are you doing here?"

The witch grinned at her. "Maybe I'm just missing my roommate. Maybe I felt a little lonely. Maybe Dawn is with Janice for the weekend and I thought, hey, why not go see Buffy in L.A."

Buffy hugged her tightly. "I am glad you're here. I missed you, you know."

"Yeah, I know." She looked over at Faith who hadn't moved from her place at the table. Lorne and the others caught the tension between the redhead and the dark Slayer.

"Faith"

Faith looked up at her and tried to smile. "Willow, good to see you."

"Don't know that I can say the same."

Faith flinched. "That's okay. I understand why you feel like you do."

"Well, that's good. That you understand how I feel."

Buffy watched the two of them but didn't try to intervene. This would have to be worked out between Faith and Willow. She turned to Wesley. "Haven't seen you in a while. What have you been up too?"

He looked over at Willow and then back at Buffy. He and Willow had made an agreement. They wouldn't say anything until they had something to say. "I had some business to attend to. Has something else happened?" She looked down at her feet. "No, nothing's happened."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 13

Faith walked into the lobby needing some space from Willow. She hadn't expected her to be happy to see her but the witches hostility was overpowering and she thought she might need to get out of her way for away for a while. She looked up to see Spike leaning on the desk. He was smoking a cigarette and he seemed upset. He saw her and smiled. "You ladies have a good time?"

She walked up to him. "Yes, but we still had to take care of a few problems. Nothing we couldn't handle though."

"Just like old times then?"

"No, she smiled, "Better, much better. Willow is here, she added. "She is not happy to see me."

"I thought I smelled Red, he replied lazily running his hand up her arm to her shoulder. His thumb traced her bottom lip as she put her hand on his waist moving closer to him. She bit his thumb lightly causing him to raise an eyebrow. His other hand moved up her back stroking her bare skin where her shirt met the top of her jeans. She was enjoying the feel of his touch on her skin when Buffy entered the lobby with Willow. The blonde frowned when she saw Spike. "Why aren't you with Angel?"

"I told him a bedtime story; sleeping like a babe he is."

Buffy hesitated as she looked up the staircase. "No, something's wrong."

She raced up the stairs and flung open the bedroom door. Angel was nowhere to be seen. "Angel, Angel, where are you?"

She saw the clothes he had been in earlier laying on the bed. Others were thrown in the floor in front of the closet. She ran to the top of the stairs. "What did you do, what did you say to him?"

Spike looked up at her. "He had questions. I gave him the answers."

Wesley entered the lobby followed by the others. "What is going on?"

Buffy came down the stairs and sank onto the bottom step. "It's Angel. He's gone. I shouldn't have left him when he was so upset." She looked up at Spike. "I should have never trusted you. You have always hated him."

Spike turned to Faith. "I told him what he needed to know. No one wanted to tell him the truth. I did."

She shook her head sadly. "You shouldn't have done that."

"He'll show back up. Maybe he just went for a bloody walk. I think I'll take one too." He headed out the front doors.

Lorne moved over to the desk. "I can make a few calls." He looked over at Buffy. "Don't worry sweetheart, we will help you find him. Big boy knows his way home."

Fred looked worried. "What if he doesn't?"

Faith moved to the stairs, helping Buffy to her feet. "Don't worry B. We'll find him and get him back here." She glanced at Wesley. "But we don't know where to look."

Willow moved to the center of the room. "Yes, we do."

"Are you going to do a spell, asked Fred?

Willow turned to Buffy. "You can find him. Close your eyes and concentrate."

Buffy shook her head. "We aren't like that anymore."

"How do you know if you don't try?"

The others turned to Wesley. "If anyone can find him, it's you. Think of him, concentrate on Angel."

Buffy closed her eyes and reached deep inside of her. Angel was nearby. She could sense his presence. He was very close. She did know that. She opened her eyes. "Let's go."

The phone rang and Lorne picked it up. He could hear Cordelia sobbing on the other end. "Cordelia, what's wrong?"

"Vision, she gasped, "I had a vision. I need Buffy. I have to talk to her."

He held out the phone to Buffy. "It's Cordelia. She says she had a vision and she needs to talk to you."

Faith spoke up. "Can it be one of her tricks? Could she be trying to pull something?"

Wesley looked up at the clock. "Not at three a.m. she isn't."

Buffy reached for the phone. "I'm here."

"Buffy it's Angel. He's in trouble. Down the street there is a warehouse, lots of vampires. Connor is there. Hurry." She continued to sob. "Buffy, be careful."

"Cordelia, where is it? Give me an address."

"You know. I've already seen you there."

Buffy hung up the phone. "In a warehouse down the street, its Angel and Connor, we got to go." She turned and raced outside with Faith beside her.

Gunn moved behind them. "I'll get the truck."

Wesley and Lorne grabbed weapons from the cabinet and hurried out the door.

Willow looked at Fred. "We are going too."

Angel stood on the roof of the hotel looking out at the city. Everything made sense now. He had thought all the dreams he had been having, all the nightmares were just that, dreams and nightmares. But they were all true. This was his life. He knew what he was and would always be. Everything was starting to come back to him now. Every evil thing he had ever done; every person he had ever hurt. And then there was Buffy. The things he had done to her and here she was taking care of him. Everything that had happened between them since she got here he had done. Spike told him she didn't need to be hurt by him anymore and he was right. He had to let her go back home to her friends and Dawn. He remembered going to her when her mother died but he left her again when she had asked him to stay. His weakness for her is what kept him away. He could paint it anyway he wanted to but it was all him. He couldn't trust himself around her so he stayed away. Spike said he had been looking out for her, taking care of her and Dawn. Faith was here too now. She would probably go back with Buffy. He had his team too. Gunn, Fred, and Lorne had been at the hotel while he had been sick. He still didn't know what to think about Wesley saving him from that box. He thought of Cordelia. He had seen her a few times but Buffy being around again made him realize one thing. He wasn't in love with Cordelia and he never had been. He had been lonely and she had been a good friend but he didn't love her. He could only love one woman and she had come out of his past to take care of him. She was always taking care of him. What had he ever done for her but give her heartache and terrorize her and her friends because he couldn't control his demon. He needed time to think, he had to get away for a while. His memory was returning in bits of jagged images and he still wasn't sure how much of it was real. He left the building and headed down the street walking a few blocks before he stopped for a moment. There were vampires around. He could sense them inside the building and he entered the door heading for the source.

Connor had heard this building was a nest for vampires. He had watched it for the last few days, waiting to make his move. There was easily a dozen hiding here and tonight was their night. The vampire population had been keeping a low profile lately all due to the presence of the two Slayers in the neighborhood. He had spent most of the evening following first the dark Slayer and the other vampire Spike and then both the Slayers when they had patrolled later. He had been mesmerized watching them take down the few who had dared to challenge them. He couldn't stop watching the blonde Slayer. Her motions were fluid, requiring seemingly no effort on her part. Watching her move along with the one they called Faith was truly amazing. But she still turned to the demon. It was her sacred duty to slay the vampires and she shamed her calling by allowing them to live. He felt his being here was all her fault. If she had just killed Angelus as she was taught he wouldn't exist and existing was all he did. He had been born to two demons because she didn't do her job and in that moment he was filled with intense rage. He took out the first two vampires easily. They were so stupid they never realized he was behind them. He shoved his stake in one and then the other; the dust settling around him. The third growled and jumped on him; his fist connecting with Connor's chest. He staggered back and began to fall; the vamp coming with him. He jabbed him in his eye and the vampire screamed. Rolling over quickly he grabbed for the extra stake attached to his leg. He drove it into the vamps heart and reached for his sword as the fourth came at him. He heard a roar behind him and someone rushed by grabbing a retreating vampire. He stabbed another one in the chest before pulling out his sword to behead him. He was fighting back to back as the vampires came out around them. He jumped up on a platform kicking one in the face before dispatching another one. He heard a rush of activity behind him but couldn't stop to turn. The others were fighting around him and in that moment he realized Gunn was beside him. They fought as a team taking on all comers until the remainder scattered only to be stopped by the warriors behind him. He turned to see Angel and the blonde Slayer fighting in perfect unison on another platform. He would punch them and she would stake them; their movements were as one. He turned to see Gunn and the others were now watching them from below. The vampire he hated the most in the world stopped to watch her as she finished off the remaining two vamps. She pocketed her stake as they faced each other, neither speaking. He reached for her, stroking her face and hair before pulling her into his arms. Connor's anger overflowed as he watched them embrace. He reached for his crossbow; no one noticing as he raised it to his shoulder. From behind him he heard someone scream his name and they all turned to look at its source. He fired; the blonde Slayer pushed his father away and took the arrow deep in her chest. She looked at her assailant, their eyes met as the blood began to spill down the front of her white shirt. She closed her eyes and fell from the platform landing hard on the ground below. Angel and his demon Angelus both roared in pain, anger and a paralyzing fear. He jumped down and fell to his knees beside her as everyone looked on in horror. Cordelia screamed for Connor again as Gunn and the others looked up at him stunned. Angel roared from deep inside a howl so terrible Willow thought they were looking once again at the demon Angelus. He picked up the bleeding woman and began to run. The boy looked down at the crossbow his hand, dropping it on the ground. Gunn yelled at him and he climbed higher to escape the group below. Spike appeared beside Faith and they both began to climb after him. He knew he didn't have a chance against them both so he spotted a skylight and climbed toward it. He looked down one last time to see Cordelia looking up at him with tears in her eyes. He stepped through the skylight and disappeared.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 14

Wesley and Willow stood outside Angel's room watching him sit with Buffy. He had run all the way up the street with her making his way into the hotel and up the stairs where he had placed her in his bed. She hadn't regained consciousness and Wesley was worried about her. She needed to go to the hospital and let them take care of her. He entered the room quietly so as not to startle the dark haired man who sat beside her still in game face. Wesley went to touch him but Angel growled at him for getting too close.

Willow tried next. "Angel, you have to let us take her to the hospital. The doctors can take care of her there."

Angel turned to her, the golden eyes and fangs prominent. He glared at her for a moment before turning back to Buffy. "She is frightened of hospitals. She stays here. I will take care of her."

"Well, at least let me help you. We need to clean her up and bandage her."

"No one touches her."

"Angel, I'm not going to hurt her. You have to let Wesley and I help her."

Angel's face slipped back to his human form as he studied the redheaded witch. "I said no one touches her. I will take care of her. All of you go away."

Cordelia stood in the hallway staring into space. She still couldn't believe Connor was responsible for all of this. For him to sink this low she couldn't even fathom it. She knew his reasoning for trying to kill Angel and for locking him in the box but this was another thing. She looked in at Angel setting by the bed holding Buffy's hand while Wesley and Willow looked on helplessly. The others were standing around as if still in shock. Lorne was turned to the wall his arm over his face to hide his tears. Fred and Gunn stood apart holding each other tightly. Spike and Faith hadn't come back to the hotel with them and then she realized they had gone after Connor. The fear rose in her as she worried about whether they would harm him or bring him to them. She hadn't talked to him since everything about his part in Angel's disappearance had come out. She felt certain she could help him if she only had the chance. She looked again at Buffy lying in the bed. Willow was trying to get Angel to let them take care of her but he refused. Cordelia had never really liked Buffy but she had respected her back when they were in school. She could see Willow wasn't getting anywhere with Angel but she didn't know him like Cordelia did. She moved into the room to stand behind him.

"Angel, you aren't helping Buffy by setting here. Let Wes and Willow take care of her. You need to be back in bed yourself. You aren't fully recovered you know."

Angel rose to his feet and faced her. The fury was evident on his face as he looked down at her. "I want you to leave. You don't give a damn what happens to her and you and I both know it. You never liked her even when she was saving your life back in Sunnydale. Just leave."

"But Angel," she began.

"Cordelia, I told you to leave now. I don't want you in here."

She walked out of the room in tears. She couldn't believe he had talked to her like that. He had made his choice and it was Buffy.

Angel replaced the bandage on her chest that was fast soaking through. He remembered when he had sat with her like this before. It was the last year they were together and she had been infected by that demon. She had been so scared then. He wondered if she was scared now, did she know what was happening to her. He could hear Wesley talking to the rest of the group in the hallway. There was nothing they could do but wait for her to wake up. He held her small hand in his much larger one. She had stepped in front of him and took the arrow that was meant for him. His own son tried to kill him, but he wasn't too worried about that right now. It wasn't like it was the first time anyway. He wiped her forehead with the damp cloth. He heard shouting and Spike came through the door, throwing Connor at his feet. The boy looked up at Angel and he caught the fear in his eyes before it was quickly replaced by defiance. Angel turned away from him and back to the woman on the bed. He spoke quietly but Connor could hear him plainly.

"Why did you do this? Were you trying to kill me again or was it her you wanted?"

Connor didn't answer but stared at the floor. Spike pushed him closer to Angel.

"Your father's talking to you boy. Answer him." He glared back at Spike and then shot a look at Angel.

"It doesn't matter who I hit. Either one of you dead will work."

Spike growled and grabbed him, dragging him closer to the bed and tossing him on the foot. He shouted at him. "Look at her. Look at what you did. You claim to be this big demon hunter. She's a human, she's a Slayer."

Faith grabbed him from behind, her arms around his waist. "This is between Angel and Connor. I know you're upset but this isn't helping her."

He stepped back away from the boy and looked at her. He rubbed his face with his hand. "Okay, but explain to me again why I can't just snap his neck."

"It's because you don't do that anymore."

He put his arm around her shoulders as they moved to the doorway. He stopped just outside. "I am not moving from this spot. If he tries anything else I will hurt him."

Connor looked away from the group standing outside and over at his father. Angel hadn't said anything else, just continued to hold Buffy's hand. The boy finally made himself look up at her. Her hair was matted to her head and sticky with blood from her fall from the platform. Her shirt was torn and he could see the blood soaked bandage where the arrow had gone through her body. Her hands were torn and bloody and her face and neck were covered in bruises and cuts. Looking at her, it hit him. He may have killed a human. This was not what he had been taught. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he tried to fight them.

Angel continued to wash Buffy's face with the cloth. The water in the bowl beside him was pink with her blood.

"If she dies, you can finish your job," Angel said quietly.

Connor looked at him. "What?"

Angel never looked up. "I said if she dies I want you to finish the job. She has died before. The first time I couldn't help her and the second time I wasn't with her and I should have been. I wanted to die too then but I was too much of a coward to do it myself. So I lived. If she dies again, I don't want to live."

Connor looked at him in surprise. He had never expected to hear anything like this. "You really love her that much? But you left her."

Angel looked over at his son. "How could I not love her? You don't understand how I was before I met her. You know about Angelus but you don't know what I was like after the gypsies gave me back my soul. I wandered from place to place. I wore rags. I lived in alleyways and drank blood from rats. The first time I saw her was on the day she was called to be the Slayer. She was pure and good and everything I might have ever wanted to be. I wanted to help her in her duty. I never planned to fall in love with her. She is everything I am not. She fell in love with me. I was scared but I was elated. I could hold this beautiful golden woman in my arms and maybe be a better man. But I hadn't been a man for many years. My demon came out. You know the story. He wanted her too and when he couldn't have her he tried to end the world. She defeated him and sent me to Hell. Then I came back and she took care of me. This isn't the first time she has taken care of me. This isn't the first time she has tried to give her life for me." He reached over her and pointed to the scar on her neck. "I did this to her. I was dying and she saved me. I wanted her to have better than me so I left her. But I never told her goodbye. I couldn't look her in the face and tell her goodbye. She is the reason I came here and tried to be a better thing than I am. She always saves me. But I don't want to be saved without her. If she dies again, you will kill me."

Connor couldn't stop the tears from flowing. "No, I can't do that. She's not going to die. She has Slayer healing, right? I won't do that."

Angel looked at him sharply. "You will do that. If you never do a thing for me your entire life you will promise me. Just remember, I am the demon. I am the thing you hate. It shouldn't be too hard."

Connor looked up at his father through his tears. "I promise you."

Angel turned away from him and back to Buffy.

"You can go now but do not leave the building. I may need you soon."

Connor nodded and left the room, walking by Spike and Faith. He looked at the others waiting in the hallway. No one spoke as he walked to the opposite end of the hallway. He slid down the wall, his slim shoulders shaking. He buried his face in his hands as choking sobs emanated from him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 15

Cordelia stood watching as the sobbing boy moved past them to take his place at the far end of the hallway. She and the others had heard the conversation between father and son and the promise Angel had forced him to make. She went to Connor, kneeling beside him and rubbing his dark head.

"Everything's going to be okay. Buffy always bounces back. She will be okay."

"I may have killed her, the boy whispered.

"It was an accident. I know you didn't mean to do it."

Connor raised his head and looked at her. "Yes, I did. I-I was aiming at him but she stepped in front of him. She looked at me with my arrow sticking out of her chest and, and s-she just looked at me. What have I done?"

She set down beside him and took his hand in hers. "None of this is your fault. Everything that has happened to you; none of it has been your fault. You are just confused. She will get better and we will work all this out. I promise."

Gunn stepped in front of her. "You can't promise him that. He may have killed a human being; someone very important to the world. You think you can just put a band-aid on it and make it better, well you can't." He glared at Connor. "No one made you lock your father in that box and no one made you shoot Buffy. You did that all on your own."

"He wasn't trying to hit Buffy. He was aiming for Angel."

"Oh, I guess that makes it all okay then."

Fred clutched his hand. "Let's go downstairs and make some coffee. I think everyone needs some."

"I think maybe I ought to stay and keep an eye on him, said Gunn.

"He's not going to hurt anyone, Cordelia implored. "Haven't we all been through enough today as it is?"

"You mean he's not going to hurt anyone else, don't you?"

Spike nodded at Gunn. "I'm staying. Junior won't be pulling anything else tonight."

"Okay, but if you need help, I will be here."

Willow looked around at the others. "I need to call home. I can't get a hold of Dawn right now but I need to call Xander."

"Willow, Wesley began, "do you think bringing Xander here is a good idea right now? I mean considering everything."

Faith moved over to them. "Maybe you should wait. Xander isn't exactly Angel's biggest fan and it might make things worse."

Willow glared at her. "I don't think you get an opinion on this matter. This is about Buffy and we are her friends. He will want to know."

Spike moved to Willow, taking her arm and pulling her away from Faith and Wesley, "Now Red, no one is trying to tell you what to do. Would having him here change anything?"

Willow shook her head. "No, he would only make things worse. But I can't keep this from him."

"Then I say let's wait until tomorrow. It's late anyway." "Okay, but only until tomorrow."

Lorne watched the others as they moved downstairs leaving only Faith and Spike in the hallway with a still sobbing Connor at the other end. Spike looked at the boy with disdain before returning his attention to Faith. He fumbled in his jacket for his cigarettes. She reached in his pocket and retrieved them. "Why don't you go have a cigarette? I will stay up here with them and keep an eye on him too."

He looked at her and nodded moving away down the stairs. Faith swung her attention back over to Lorne who had been hovering at the doorway to Angel's room.

"What do you want to do? Can you try and talk to him?"

The green-skinned demon nodded and made his way to the bedside. Angel looked up at him wearily.

"I don't want any company. Everyone please just go downstairs and leave us alone."

Lorne didn't answer him but moved closer, looking down at the pale, battered woman on the bed. Angel's pain radiated, Lorne could see it in waves flowing through the air. He moved to the other chair and sat down.

"She is quite a woman, is she not? I've never met anyone like her before. We haven't really got to talk yet but I'm looking forward to it."

Angel looked over at him. "You may never get the chance. After being apart all this time I may lose her for good. She saved me again and it may be her final death this time."

"No, she is going to be okay. I can feel her power from here. She is badly injured but she will heal. You're not going to lose her from this. But I do think you might think about cleaning her up a little. Wouldn't she be more comfortable with some clean clothes and her hair washed? I bet her sister Slayer could take care of it or that feisty redhead downstairs. You could get her some clean sheets or perhaps put her in her own room."

"She stays here with me and I'll clean her up."

"Angelcakes, I don't think you have the right to do that. You aren't her man exactly, now are you?"

Angel growled deep in his chest. "In my bottom drawer there is a small black box, get it."

Lorne hurried to get it.

"Look inside."

Lorne opened it to find a long silver chain on which hung two rings. He undid the clasp and slid them both off. He looked up as Angel extended his palm. The demon placed both rings in his hand and watched as Angel slid the larger one on his finger. The smaller one he held out to Lorne for inspection.

"Have you ever seen a Claddagh ring? It is also known as an Irish wedding ring. I gave this ring to her on the night of her seventeenth birthday. I told her the hands were for friendship, the crown for loyalty and I didn't exactly explain the heart. It stands for love. I told her to wear it with the heart in; that it means you belong to somebody." He put the smaller ring back on the chain and fastened it around his neck, slipping it inside his shirt. "These rings mean she is mine and I am hers. When she gets better I'm putting it back where it belongs, on her finger. I'm taking her back and I'm not letting her go this time. Being apart has been hell for both of us. We've been so busy trying to pretend we can live without each other. Much of it is my fault, hell all of it is my fault. But I'm not pretending anymore, I want her back, I love her so much and it feels good to finally say it out loud again. I can't tell you how many times I have thought about her and how badly I have missed her."

Lorne smiled. "Then don't let her go. Hold on to her with both hands because many people never find what you two have. Most go through life never knowing their other half. I have a story to tell the two of you but it will wait until she gets better." He stood up to go. "Are you sure you won't at least let someone help you clean her up? She would be more comfortable."

"Okay, have Faith get her some clean clothes and call Willow for me will you?"

Lorne patted him on the shoulder. "I'll take care of it."

Faith raised her head as Lorne left the bedroom. The demon winked at her. "Grab your girl some clothes. I have to get Willow."

"Thank you," she grinned at him.

"My pleasure, sweet pea, it was my pleasure."

The others looked up as Lorne entered the kitchen smiling broadly. Willow jumped up from her chair. "Is Buffy awake?"

"No, but everything will be okay. Angel needs you to help him clean her up. I sent Faith to get her clean clothes."

"I'll turn her bed down," offered Fred.

"That won't be necessary. She is staying in Angel's room but you could get them some clean bedding."

Willow and Fred hurried out of the room to help Angel. Cordelia stood silently at the counter. She thought about going up to help them too but Angel had made it very clear she wasn't welcome there. She met Wesley's gaze.

"She needs to be put in her own room. She shouldn't be sleeping with Angel. It isn't safe, you know that."

Gunn spoke up. "She has been sharing his room most of the time since she got here. I don't think we have anything to worry about."

She glared at him in response and turned to Wesley. "You know this is not a good idea. Do you want them getting too close and then we have Angelus on our hands again? I so do not want to go through that again."

Wesley studied her closely. "Do you want to be the one to tell Angel she can't stay with him?"

"Fine, she snapped, "while you're in here doing nothing maybe you should be hunting up another Orb of Thessula. That way we can have Willow on standby." She left the kitchen in a huff.

Angel's room was a flurry of activity. Fred was straightening the room. Faith had picked out a pair of jogging pants and tank top for Buffy and Willow was in the bathroom filling the tub. She finished in the bathroom and came to the bed. Angel had removed her shoes earlier and he had started taking off her socks when he stopped. He moved her right foot to see a small tattoo on the inside of her ankle.

"Willow, when did she get this?" His voice cracked as he lifted her foot to examine it closer. The others gathered around to see the small heart on the inside of her right ankle. It was crying tears of blood that lay in a small pool below it. There was a sword through it and the words "my heart" beneath it in tiny script.

"She got it not long after we brought her back. She had just come back from seeing you. She never showed it to us exactly but I saw it when I went in to wake her up one morning. She has never mentioned it and I've never asked. She obviously didn't want us to know. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knew she had it."

He didn't say anything but addressed Fred. "I'm going to take her to the tub now."

The dark haired girl nodded. "I will change the bed and get you some more towels." She hurried out as Angel began to strip the bloody clothing from Buffy. Willow winced at the sight of the bruised flesh underneath and Faith stepped up to help him. They carefully removed her pants and what was left of her bloody shirt. He looked away as Faith removed her undergarments. He stripped off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. Angel stepped out of his pants until he was standing in nothing but his boxers. The women kept her eyes averted to respect his privacy but he didn't appear to care one way or the other. He picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. Holding her carefully he stepped into the tub taking a seat with her in his lap.

Faith handed him a cloth. "I brought her bath stuff in here. Her shampoo is on the ledge next to you." They began to carefully wash her, cleaning away the dirt and dried blood. She held her up as he washed the blood from her hair and face. The wound in her chest was still open but at least it had stopped bleeding. Willow stepped in the bathroom long enough to leave more towels and a robe before retreating once more to the other room. She didn't want to intrude on Buffy's privacy and even though her friend and Angel had been apart for a long time it just seemed right that he be the one taking care of her.

He stepped from the tub and Faith wrapped her in a towel. Angel laid her on the bed and set about bandaging her wounds. With Faith's help they dressed her in clean clothes and combed out her hair. She covered her with a clean sheet and blanket and waited while Angel took a quick shower. Fred walked into the room carrying a vase of flowers. She sat it on the table across from the bed. "When she wakes up she will see them, she said shyly.

Angel came out of the bathroom buttoning a clean shirt. "Thank you, Fred. She loves flowers."

"Do you need anything? You probably need to eat."

"Not right now. I just want to set with her."

Fred and Willow left the room to see Cordelia waiting in the hallway. "How is she?" At Willow's look she continued, "I may not have ever considered myself her friend but I never wanted to see her like this either."

"She looks much better. Angel and Faith cleaned her up but she's still unconscious."

Connor spoke quietly from his seat in the hallway. "I don't want her to die. I didn't mean to hurt her."

Cordelia smoothed his hair. "We know you didn't. It was just an accident. I told you we will work all this out."

The boy took a deep breath and he's words came in a rush. "It wasn't an accident. I told you I did it on purpose. But I wish I could take it back. I want to take it all back. I wish I had never put him in the box and I wish I had never shot her." He laid his head against the wall and closed his eyes. "I wish I had never been born."

"Connor," Cordelia began.

"Just leave me alone please. I want to set here and wait for her to wake up. His voice came in whisper. "She has to wake up."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 16

Xander stared ahead at the road, a silent Dawn next to him. Willow's phone call kept going through his head. Buffy had been shot by Angel's kid. She was still unconscious. Spike was with her. Faith was out of prison and was with her too. He knew she had been taking care of Angel and now he was caring for her. He looked over at Dawn who was staring straight ahead. After telling her everything she had yet to show any emotion. She had seen so much for a kid her age but then so had the rest of them. He remembered back to when he first learned the truth about Buffy and Giles. It seemed so long ago now. He was upset with Willow for keeping things from him but he knew why. He didn't like Angel and he wasn't sorry when he left Sunnydale. But here they all were heading back into each others lives again. He wondered what his life would be like if he had never met Buffy. What would he be like if he had never known about the creatures that hid in the night? He decided he wouldn't change anything. His life meant something because he was here fighting beside Buffy, fighting beside Willow. Even if people never knew, they knew. That was all that mattered. He pulled up in front of the hotel and took another look at Dawn.

"We're here."

He got out of the car and went to the trunk to grab their bags. She continued to set as before until he opened her door. "Are you ready to go in?"

She slid out of the car and reached for her bag throwing it over her shoulder. She entered the front doors of the hotel with Xander behind her. Spike stood in the lobby leaning against the desk. She went to him and he gave her a hug.

"She's strong; she will make it through this. You know nothing ever keeps her down."

Faith came down the stairs just as Xander walked into the lobby. He looked up at her and frowned. She made her way to Spike and he rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. Dawn caught this exchange but said nothing. The others came out of the kitchen to see the two new arrivals. Wesley extended his hand to Xander and he took it as Willow came to them.

"There isn't any change in her condition, Wesley told Xander. "She is healing but she has yet to wake up."

"Can we see her, Xander asked.

Wesley looked at Faith. "Can they look in on her?"

She looked at all of them before meeting Spike's eyes. "Um, Angel's asleep. I finally got him to lie down a little while ago."

Xander looked confused. "What does his sleeping have to do with anything?"

Dawn looked at Faith. "She means he's asleep in Buffy's room."

"Well actually she's in his room but yes, he is asleep in there too."

Dawn nodded her head. "Okay, then we won't disturb him."

Fred and Gunn moved over to them and Wesley quickly made the introductions. Fred offered to show them to their rooms but Spike stepped in. "I'll take them up."

They followed him and Faith up the stairs to their doors. Xander tossed his bag on the bed and turned to Spike. "Where's the kid that did this?"

Spike turned to point out Connor at the end of the hallway. Dawn had dropped her bag and was headed to the boy. The others watched as she moved in front of him. He looked up at her. "So your Angel's kid huh?"

He nodded his head.

"I'm Buffy's sister."

"I'm sorry, he said.

"I'm sorry too." She sat down next to him. Faith came and picked up her bag. "Your room is right across here, next to Connor's. I'll put your bag in there."

She nodded her head and looked at the boy next to her. "You're Connor?"

"Yes"

"I'm Dawn." She looked up at Faith who was still standing in front of them. "Your memories of me aren't real you know."

Faith knelt down next to her, studying her face. "I know but I still have them. I remember you being around."

"You were never mean to me. You would always say "hey kid." She looked down the hallway at the others who were watching them. "Can you get rid of them? I just want to set here for a while." She looked over at Connor. "Is that okay with you?" The boy nodded in assent. Faith rose to go but Dawn stopped her. "You and Buffy worked things out, didn't you?"

"Yes, I like to think we have."

"Good, I've only seen her cry over two people, you and Angel. It would be nice to see her happy for a change."

Faith rose and went to join Spike and Xander. "She wants to set with Connor for a while. She asked for some space."

Xander hesitated. "Is it safe to leave her with him?"

Spike nodded to Dawn. "He won't try anything else. He's too busy dealing with what he's done." He reached for Faith's hand. "We're all busy dealing."

They moved down the hall toward the stairs. Cordelia stepped out of a room and surveyed them. "Xander, it's good to see you." She gave him an awkward hug. "I'm just sorry it had to be like this." He stepped back to look at her.

"Yeah, I am too. We are going back downstairs. Are you coming?"

She looked over at the two teenagers setting in silence. "Yes"

Dawn waited patiently until everyone had gone downstairs leaving her alone with Connor. She got up and went to the edge of the stairs looking down into the lobby. Satisfied that no one was within earshot she went back to him. "Do you want to see her?"

He looked surprised, "No, he's asleep."

She raised an eyebrow. "Like that matters, I can't tell you how many times I watched the two of them sleep. I just want to see her, okay? Are you coming or not?"

He nodded his head and got to his feet. "What if they wake up?'

Dawn snorted. "Buffy always moves around a lot before she wakes up and as for Angel, well, have you never seen him sleep."

He looked at her for a moment. "No"

She looked at him in disbelief. "Faith said they just got him to go to bed. That means he's very tired. Even I remember when Angel is tired he sleeps like the dead, literally."

She moved to the bedroom door, opening it carefully she stepped inside. She looked back and motioned him inside. He took another look down the empty hallway and followed her.

The room was bathed in the darkness that only comes from heavy drapes on a sunlit day. Dawn blinked for a moment or two to become accustomed to the dimness. Putting a finger to her lips she cautioned Connor to be quiet as she moved toward the bed. Buffy lay pale and lifeless upon her pillow. The white fabric of her tank made her skin seem all that more alabaster. Her hands lay at her side as if someone had posed her in her sleep. Connor was uncomfortable watching the two of them lying on the bed and he motioned to Dawn that they should leave. She shook her head and frowned at the sight of her sister and Angel. Each was lying stiffly and neither looked very comfortable. Connor watched as Dawn went to Buffy's side of the bed and moved her over just a little closer to the man beside her. Buffy's hand touched his and Dawn startled as she realized Angel had opened his eyes and was looking up at her.

"Dawn?"

She looked down at him.

"She always slept better in your arms. I know she's hurt so would you at least hold her hand. It will make her feel better."

He took Buffy's hand in his and Dawn smiled. "You're going to make her okay, right? She hasn't been doing very well without you."

He looked up at her, blinking back tears that were threatening to spill. She smoothed Buffy's hair and pulled up her sheet. He started to speak and then he realized Connor was standing in the room. Father looked at son without expression and Connor dropped his eyes to the floor. He took one last look at Buffy and left the room.

Dawn walked around to Angel's side of the bed. Leaning over him she kissed his cheek. She went to leave but paused with her hand on the door.

"I think he's sorry. I can feel it."

Angel's reply was little more than a whisper. "I can't help him now Dawn. It's time I thought of her."

She nodded her head and stepped out the door. Angel looked down at their clasped hands then kissed Buffy on the forehead. "This time it's all about you."

Wesley, Lorne and Willow sat at the kitchen table with the others gathered around. The redhead addressed the former Watcher. "Wesley, I'm worried that she hasn't come around yet. Buffy has been injured many times before. There isn't any reason for her to still be unconscious."

Xander spoke up. "You said she was hit with an arrow. Was it dipped in anything?" At everyone's look he eyed Faith, "Well, Faith shot Angel with an arrow dipped in poison. I'm just saying it could happen again."

Faith shifted against the wall and Spike glared at Xander.

"There wasn't any bleeding poison. It was just a damn arrow."

"Then why isn't she awake now, he challenged.

"Maybe she doesn't want to wake up," the blonde vampire replied hotly.

Willow looked sick. "What if he's right? What if she doesn't want to wake up?"

Gunn looked confused, "Is that possible?"

Lorne caught Cordelia's eye. "Yes, it's very possible. Sometimes when you separate two halves of a whole you find each part withers and dies. It might take a while but neither functions as well without the other. They pretend everything is okay; they smile when they don't feel it inside, and they let people tell them they feel things they don't. They're miserable and they are alone. They get tired of being alone and they turn to others who can't give them what they need because they can't replace what is missing, the other half of their soul."

Fred reached for him, hugging his neck tightly. "Exactly, that's what I mean exactly. I'm so glad you see it too."

Lorne patted the little brunette gently while continuing to look at blonde seer. "You don't have to open your eyes to see it. It reaches out and slaps you. They make you feel it, don't they Cordelia? It doesn't matter how much you pretend it's not there, it is, they are, and they always will be."

Cordelia smiled at him tearfully. "Yes, they are."

"I'm sorry honey. I really am sorry."

She dabbed at her eyes. "It's okay; you know it really is okay."

Xander looked at them confused. "What did I just miss?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 17

Angel lay beside Buffy's still form staring up at the ceiling. He had been staring at it for what seemed hours until he had drifted into an uneasy sleep. His dreams had all been about Buffy. He called but she didn't answer. He searched but he didn't find her. They used to be able to share dreams but this time she was closed off. It was almost as if she was shutting him out. Maybe they had been apart for too long. No, he refused to believe that. She had sensed him as he had her since she had been here. He had to find a way to reach her. He sat up quickly, rising from the bed. He swayed for a moment. The fight had taken plenty from him too and he wasn't at full health just yet. He went to the bathroom and washed his face. He looked up at the wall without a mirror. She had asked for a mirror once. He had left shortly after and she had never received her mirror or her drawer. He looked at her small pile of clothes that sat on top of his dresser. Faith had obviously brought her in a few things while he slept. He opened a drawer and placed them inside. Closing it quietly he smiled. She had her drawer. A knock on the door brought him out of his brooding.

"Come in"

Cordelia entered and closed the door quietly behind her. She looked at him warily, waiting to see if he would send her away again. He sank down in a chair and motioned her toward the other one. She nodded and moved across from him. He looked to Buffy and then back at the seer.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier."

She smiled slightly. "Don't be. I deserved it. What you said was true. You don't have to apologize for telling the truth. Her attention moved to Buffy. "She looks better. Has there been any change?"

He shook his head. "No, nothing, I've tried to reach her but I can't. I don't know if she even knows I'm here."

"She knows. Of that I have no doubt. I have never seen any two people with a connection like yours. You will always find her. She will always find you."

He studied her for a moment. "You sound like Lorne."

"Well Lorne is right, this time at least. He and Fred were wrong about the two of us. I know and you know it. We were just ....lonely and maybe for a moment it sounded good. But it isn't what we need and deep down it isn't what we really want." She looked to the bed again. "I've been hoping for a vision, something to give me a clue as to what all of this means but nothing. If I had one; I would tell you."

"Does that mean you've had them before and didn't tell me?"

She looked him in the face. "Yes, I've had visions before about Buffy and the rest of the gang and I didn't tell you."

He rubbed his face with his hands. "And you are admitting this to me now because…."

"Wesley says I've corrupted my gift. He said Doyle would not be very proud of me."

"Wesley knows about this?"

"Yes, I think he guessed. Or maybe he has always suspected me. You do know he's the one who saved you, don't you? The rest of us didn't even know where to look." She looked back to the bed before going on. "He thinks I'm beneath contempt and he's right. I have always said I never liked Buffy and I didn't. I don't have a good reason why. But I have to admit I respect her. She has saved me ...many times. I never thanked her and I never appreciated the sacrifices she had to make to protect all of us. At times I've been pretty hateful and I blamed her for things that were never her fault. She could have fought with me when she got here but instead she told me she was jealous of me. Can you imagine her being jealous of me? I can't fathom it. Truthfully, it's probably the other way around. She told me she would help you and then she would leave. She thinks you found someone else to love. But you and I both know that isn't true. The others are all downstairs trying to find a way to help her." She smiled again. "Can you imagine our team and the Sunnydale team working together? Spike and Faith are with them but Connor and Dawn are still in the hallway. He won't leave until she wakes up."

"I can't do anything for him. I'm still at the point where I can't even look at him."

"You can't possibly punish him anymore than he is punishing himself. He knows what he did is terrible."

"I don't want to talk about him right now." He sighed heavily. "I guess I should go downstairs and see if the others have come up with anything. Would you ask Dawn to come sit with her? I don't want to leave her alone."

She looked at him hesitantly. "Would you mind if I stayed with her? I would like to if it's okay with you."

He rose to his feet. "Okay, you will let me know if anything changes."

"I will, I promise you I will."

Dawn jumped to her feet when Angel came out of the bedroom.

"Is she awake? Has there been any change at all?"

He shook his head sadly. "Nothing has changed. I'm going downstairs to talk to the others. Cordy is going to stay with her for a while."

Dawn frowned and moved toward the door. "You're going to let her stay with her?"

He put his hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. She wants to be with her right now and its okay. Are you coming downstairs with me?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm going to stay up here with him," she nodded toward Connor who didn't look in their direction. "Are you going to talk to him?"

"No, I don't have anything to say right now. It's good that you're keeping an eye on him."

"That's not why I'm up here. He's not going to hurt her. I don't know how I know that but I do. I know I should be angry with him or maybe I should hate him but I don't. He is devastated like the rest of us Angel."

He didn't answer but headed down the stairs to talk with the others. Dawn watched him go before turning back to the boy setting in the hallway. She resumed her seat and leaned over to pat his hand. "Connor, tell me about you. I want to know everything that happened."

He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. "I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I was born." He laughed harshly. "I don't know why I even exist."

Dawn turned to face him. "You neither huh? Did you know I was never born? I started out as a green ball of energy. I was never a baby. My memories are all false. They were put there by a bunch of monks. Everyone here that thinks they know and remember me? It's all fake, none of it is real."

He frowned at her. "What?"

She smiled. "How about this, you tell me about you and then I will tell you about me. It will help pass the time while we wait for her to wake up."

"She has to wake up."

"And she will, but in the meantime tell me. Tell me everything."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 18

The others looked up expectedly when Angel entered the kitchen. "Nothing has changed. She's still unconscious. Cordelia is setting with her right now." Noting the looks on their faces he added, " It's okay." He scanned the room. "Where are Willow and Wesley, and Spike and Faith?"

Gunn looked at the clock. "You've been asleep for a while. Wesley and Willow are in your office and Spike and Faith went on patrol." He looked at the rest of them. "We were all just waiting."

Fred moved to the refrigerator. "Can I get you some dinner? You probably should eat." He nodded and she went to heat up his blood. Before she could hand him the mug the aroma hit him and his senses flared. He could feel his demon rising to the surface at the smell of the rich, warm blood. He moved away quickly.

"Fred, take it away."

"What's wrong? Is it bad?"

He leaned on the counter and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing heavily. He opened them to see Wesley and Willow standing with the others. Xander watched this all from the table, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Gunn caught his look and moved to Xander. "I think we need to step out and let them talk." Xander glared at him. "No, I think I'll stay right here. I have a feeling I know where this is going."

Willow's attention slid to her best friend. "Xander, please, not now. This isn't the time for it."

He rose to his feet. "Okay, but we are going to talk later. I want to know what the hell is going on and you are going to tell me." He left the room followed by Fred. Gunn glanced at Angel before addressing Wesley. "Do you need me to stay?"

"No, I think we've got it. We all knew it would come down to this. I just hoped it would be later." He looked over at Lorne still setting at the table. The green demon crossed his arms and sat back in his chair. Wesley retrieved the mug from the table and sat it down near Angel.

"You need to eat."

Angel drew a deep breath trying to keep from changing. He moved away from the mug and sat down at the table next to Lorne.

"I'm not drinking that."

Wesley came around to face him. "We had no choice. You weren't getting any better and we had to do something."

"Then you should have let me die. You should have finished it. You should have never let her do this."

Wesley looked to Willow and Lorne. "It wasn't about letting her do anything. Do you really think she would let you go knowing she could help you? It was her choice and we supported it."

"You supported it." He looked at Willow. "Did you know about this?"

She met his gaze. "Yes, I knew. She told me what she was going to do and I agreed with her. But it's different this time, no biting."

"The result is still the same. I am not feeding from her."

Lorne had been setting quietly studying Angel. "You have to drink it. If there is anymore left you need to drink it too."

Angel rose from his chair. "No, I won't. This is not like last time. I'm saying no while I still can."

Wesley glanced at Willow before turning his attention back to the man at the table. "No, it isn't like last time. Buffy told me what happened. I know she had to force you. She was just trying to help you this time just like last time. If you don't want it then you don't have to drink it."

Lorne rose to face Angel. "Set down and let me talk to you. This is important."

Angel sat back down. "I still won't do this. I want it all taken away."

"Angel, be quiet and just listen to me for a minute. You have been trying to reach Buffy but you can't. You can't find her in your dreams and you think you won't be able to anymore but you're wrong. You and her have always been able to sense each other from your first meeting, right? But you need to strengthen that bond. You being what you are its always going to be about the blood. You're in her as she is in you but you need to make it stronger. If you do this you will be able to find her anywhere. Isn't that what you want?"

Angel rubbed his face with his hands. "Yes, I have to find her. I have to bring her back from wherever she is."

Lorne nodded to Willow who moved to the refrigerator. "Yes, you do have to bring her back and no one else but you can do it but I have to warn you; if you have her become this much a part of you again you can't just decide later to send her on her way or get another fool notion about giving her up. I don't think the two of you could withstand another separation. Do you understand me?"

Angel nodded as Wesley set the mug in front of him again. He looked up at him. "I don't want the others to see me do this."

Willow sat a large glass in front of him. "I will go keep them occupied. I don't have to be here for this." She patted Angel's shoulder. "I'm sorry I blamed you before. I should have known better. I know you don't want to do this but you're the only one who can bring her back to us. Since you've been gone she's been missing a huge piece of herself. You are that piece. She needs you as much as you need her." She hurriedly left the room as rose from his seat. He reached for the mug and turned his back to Lorne and Wesley. He could feel the demon rise inside him and he knew he couldn't keep the change from coming. He drained the first mug and Wesley handed him the other. He roared as the downed the contents of the glass. He dropped it to the floor and it shattered. Faith and Spike entered the room as Angel let out a roar. Spike could smell the aroma in the air and he couldn't stop himself from changing. He stepped out of the room and into the garden trying to control his own demon.

Wesley kept his eyes on Angel as he addressed Faith. "Stay where you are just in case."

They watched transfixed as Angel fought to compose himself. Lorne quickly removed the mug and the broken glass trying to restore some order. Angel's face changed and he headed toward the doorway. Faith moved just in time as he pushed past her and into the garden. She quickly followed him as he and Spike faced each other. Angel sank onto a bench while Spike stood over him. Wesley and Lorne moved out behind her taking in the scene. Spike paced back in forth in front of Angel. "Is there anymore of that?"

Wesley shook his head no. "That's the rest of it."

The blonde vampire glared at him. "You didn't take my advice, did you?"

"We don't have a choice. Angel understands this."

"I'm glad he's so damned understanding but I'm not. I told you about this. I warned you."

Lorne looked at Faith. "He needs to strengthen their bond. It's the only way he will be able to reach her."

She nodded and went to Spike. "They are trying to help B. She needs Angel now. We all need him to do this. Can you accept it?"

He put his arm around her and hugged her tightly. "Okay, I can accept it but I don't have to like it." He glared at Lorne and Wesley. "Now what?"

Lorne helped Angel to his feet. "Angel here goes back to bed. He dreams, finds his other half and brings her home." He grinned at them all. "Basically the Prince finds Sleeping Beauty, gives her a kiss and wakes her up. We all get happy."

"Not too happy, warns Faith.

"That's the last thing on my mind, snapped Angel.

Wesley thought for a moment. "Let's get started, shall we?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 19

Cordelia was setting quietly when Angel entered the room again. She got to her feet. "She's okay, she said hurriedly. "Nothing has changed."

Angel looked at the blonde seer as if he was seeing her for the first time in a long time. He could smell her fear in the air tinged with hints of regret and perhaps guilt? Dealing with Cordelia's deceit was something he didn't have time for right now. He knew she was feeling badly but he didn't know if it was genuine or if it was because she had been caught. He looked her in the eye.

"I'm going to try to reach Buffy again. Maybe this time I will find her."

She nodded before looking at Faith and Spike who had entered behind him. Willow stepped in also and eyed her warily. Their scrutiny made her uneasy and she looked down at her feet.

"I think I'll go downstairs now. Maybe I can take a turn setting with her again later?"

"Maybe, said Angel. "I will talk with you later."

She left the room as he moved to the bed. Setting down on the side he looked up at Willow. "I don't know if I will be able to do this now. I don't know if I can relax."

Spike snorted. "I wonder why that is. Feeling a little too energized are we?" Faith mock glared at him. "Stop it. Are you going to help or not?" He looked at her smiling face and shook his head, returning her smile. "Okay, I'm staying. Someone has to keep an eye on Peaches there. We wouldn't want Angelus coming out to play now would we?"

Willow glared at him. "Way to relax him Spike." She turned to Angel. "Would you like me to help you? I could put you to sleep."

He nodded at her. "Yes, please." He looked to Spike and Faith. "Don't leave us alone. I might need you, just in case."

Spike looked at Faith. "No problem there. We weren't going anywhere."

Willow reached for Angel's hand. "Close your eyes. Try and clear your thoughts. Concentrate on Buffy." She reached across him and took Buffy's hand. Placing it in his she continued. "Here is her body. Now find her soul. Call for her, reach for her, find her." She stepped back and they could see Angel was indeed asleep. She looked at the couple behind her. "All we can do now is wait. I'm going to go down and talk with Wesley. Call me if you need me."

"We will take care of them both, said Faith. Willow looked at her for a moment. "I know you will." She left the room and Faith sat down in the chair. She rubbed the back of her neck. "She is never going to like me, is she?" Spike rubbed her shoulders. "I wouldn't worry too much about Red. I know her better than you do. I tried to eat her once. She's coming around."

Willow stood in the hallway with Dawn and Connor. "Angel is trying to reach her in dream state." She looked at the two of them. "Are you two getting hungry? You've been up here quite a while."

"I am, said Dawn. She looked at the boy beside her. "Do you want something?"

He shook his head no. "You go ahead."

He watched them go down the stairs. He had seen Faith and Spike enter the room with Angel but he went to the door anyway. He just wanted to see her for a minute. Faith looked up at him as he stepped into the room. Spike was leaning against the wall, his eyes closed but he too was aware of the boy's entrance. Faith motioned for him to enter and he moved closer to the bed. Her eyes were wide as she pointed to the couple laying there. "Look, she whispered, "see the glow around them."

He nodded his head and studied the pair of them. He felt pulled by the faint light as he moved to Buffy's side of the bed. He set down in the floor by her head and reached for the corner of her blanket. He held on tight and closed his eyes. He didn't know how to pray or even if anyone would listen to him but he was going to try.

Angel felt as if he were floating. He could feel his body but his mind was swimming. He opened his eyes to find he was standing on a sandy beach. The sun was shining and he flinched but then he realized he wasn't burning. He looked down the shoreline and stopped. Buffy stood in front of him staring out at the water. Her flowered sundress floated out behind her and her hair shone golden in the sun. He hurried to her and she turned to face him. The look on her face was full of pain and anguish and he reached out to touch her cheek. The bruises and cuts were gone and so was the wound where the arrow had struck her in the chest. He ran his hand through her hair and she closed her eyes for a moment.

"I knew you would come. I guess that's why we ended up here. I knew you would find me here. What did you come to tell me? I already know you have a life now, a good life that I'm not a part of. I haven't been for a very long time."

"You will always be a part of me. You have to know I love you. I've loved you from the first moment I saw you. You know that."

"I don't know anything anymore. If you loved me then why didn't you stay with me? You left me alone, again and again. I've always been alone."

Buffy, you have your friends, you have Dawn. I just wanted you to have more than you could have had with me. I wanted you to have a life. I wanted you to have more than I could ever give you."

She turned her back, moving away from him. "Just don't say normal. I never want to hear that word again. I can't have it any more than you can. Willow, Xander and Dawn, none of them is a Slayer and they don't have normal and there's your group. Wesley, Gunn, Fred and even Cordelia, where is their normal life? They don't have one and they don't get one. All they have is each other." He reached for her turning her to face him. She sniffled and he could see the tears starting. She touched his face and traced his mouth with her fingers. "We had each other once. You were the only one who could understand what it meant to be me. Not even Giles knows what being a Slayer truly means. It's lonely, so damn lonely and I'm tired of it. Out there I know my friends are there for me as long as I'm doing what they think I should. It's not about what I might want or even what I need. This time, coming here to you, Willow understood it was something I had to do. But Faith, now she understands even better. It was never about what you are. It was always who you are to me. You know I see a beginning for her and Spike. I know they can help each other find their way. Please don't let the others pull them apart. They won't like their relationship anymore than they did ours. Ask Wesley to be her Watcher again. He would be good for her. He came and got me, you know that, don't you? He told me you needed me. But you don't need me, do you?"

She wiped her face and turned again to stare out at the water. He moved behind her wrapping his arms around her small waist. She grasped his arms tightly as she watched the water rush past the rocks and the gulls playing in the foam at the edge of the shoreline. "I had this dream before you know. Everything was just like it is now but you told me not even death could make you leave me." She dropped his hands and moved away from him. "You left me anyway. I don't want to be out there anymore. I'm tired and I just want to sleep for a long, long time."

Angel could feel her isolation and he tried again to get through to her. "Buffy, you were the one who told me that strong was fighting and we had to do it everyday. Let me help you fight this time. Let me help you be strong."

"I remember that. I remember that morning, the hill, walking through the snow with you. But none of it mattered. All I wanted was to do my duty as the Slayer and come home to you but I know now I'm never going to find happiness. Buffy doesn't get a reward. All I ever got was a toy umbrella the night of my prom. I don't even have that anymore. I don't have anyone or anything to stay for. Faith is back. She's The Slayer anyway. I was just filling in."

"What about Dawn? You need her and she needs you. You're her sister."

"I remember when she wasn't here. I know I'm not supposed to but I do. I guess the monks playing with my memory didn't last forever. Dawn doesn't even like me most of the time. I died for her and it still isn't enough. She will be better off with Willow and Xander. Spike will continue to watch out for her and Faith will be there too." She hesitated for a moment. "I remember other things I'm not supposed to either. It just took me a while." She looked up at him and he understood what she meant.

"You weren't supposed to ever remember that day. It was supposed to be my burden only. I was only trying to protect you when I asked the Oracles to take it back. It was never because I didn't love you." He could feel his own tears rising and he didn't try to stop them.

~~~~~~

Spike raised his head toward the man on the bed. He could feel the pain coming from Angel and he could smell the tears that he knew belonged to his grandsire. "I can smell his tears, he whispered to Faith. She looked at him in surprise. "Is he okay?" Spike shook his head no and leaned back against the wall closing his eyes. Faith reached for his hand stroking his cool palm with her thumb. He slid his arm around her shoulder drawing him to her as they watched the couple on the bed.

~~~~~~~

Still in the dream state Angel could only watch her while she moved in front of him. She looked into his eyes. "It doesn't matter now. It seems like a distant memory to me. I know I was there but all I have are hazy recollections." She laughed lightly. "It's interesting how things come full circle isn't it?" She looked around. "It isn't so bad here you know. This place is beautiful and you can visit me here sometime if you want. We will go for a long walk on the beach and you can stand in the sun." She laughed softly. "But you know the best thing part?"

He could see the haunted look in her eyes and he was afraid to ask but he did anyway. "What is that?"

She smiled serenely. "I'm not dead so they can't bring me back."

She started to move away from him and he called to her. "Buffy, please, don't go."

She turned back to him. "Angel, there's just one more thing."

"Yes" "Tell Connor thank you."

"No, he shouted in his sleep. He bowed his head, closing his eyes for a moment. When he looked back up she was gone. Angel's eyes flew open and he looked around to see Faith still setting by the bed. Spike stood up from the wall behind her. He looked into the man's eyes and he could feel his intense pain. He spoke to him quietly.

"You saw her, what did she say to you?" Spike could see the emotions his grandsire was trying so hard to contain. He was broken and Spike actually felt sorry for Angel at that moment. Angel's voice came out in a whisper. "Where did Willow go?"

Faith answered him. "She went downstairs to see Wesley about something. Is B okay? She never moved an inch."

Angel got to his feet and looked around the room. It was then that he realized Connor was sitting in the floor by Buffy's side of the bed. He was hunched up with his knees to his chest and his head down. Angel walked around the bed where he could see him better.

"He's been here the whole time," said Faith behind him.

"Connor"

The boy jerked his head up and met his father's gaze. His face was pale and tear stained and Angel thought of Buffy's last words to him. "She told me to tell you thank you."

Connor lowered his head as new tears began to flow and Angel turned away from him. He looked up at Spike and Faith.

"She said the best part of being there was they couldn't bring her back." He turned to the doorway to leave. "She doesn't want to come back."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 20

Willow and Dawn walked into the lobby to find the others all gathered. "He's asleep. Faith and Spike are going to stay with him while he tries again to reach Buffy." She looked over at Xander who had risen to his feet. She could tell he was still angry so she had to take care of this now.

Fred smiled at Dawn. "Why don't you go with me and we will get you something to eat?"

Dawn nodded at her. "I tried to get Connor to come down with me but he won't. He says he isn't hungry but I know he has to be."

Fred looked nervously at the others. "Well, you can eat and then you could take him something up."

"Sounds good, agreed Dawn as she followed her into the kitchen.

Willow went to the door of the garden and pushed it open. She went to the bench and took a seat. Xander followed her and took a seat beside her. He turned to face her. "He's been feeding from Buffy again, hasn't he?"

She sighed heavily. "No, he hasn't. They have been adding her blood to his regular supply to help him heal. It was her decision."

He rose to his feet. "What the hell are they thinking? Did you know about this? Remember what happened last time? He almost killed her."

She rose to her feet angrily. "Yes, I remember what happened last time but I also know she made him. Just like this time. She told me she was going to do it and she did. It was her decision both times."

"You expect me to believe he never attacked her and she just made him feed off her."

Wesley spoke from the doorway. "Why not, is it so hard for you to believe? Buffy told me she wanted to do this. I drew her blood and we mixed it with his supply. Angel didn't know until today. She also told me she forced him to drink from her the last time. If you don't believe us, when she wakes up ask her." He looked at Willow. "I wanted to let you know I just talked to Giles. He offered to come but I told him I didn't know what he could do. He's supposed to call us back later for an update."

"Thank you Wesley."

He glanced at Xander before looking at her again. "When you're finished here I need to see you in Angel's office."

She nodded and turned back to Xander. "We are here to help Buffy in any way we can. Angel needs our help too. We aren't here to make things any more difficult than they already are."

"She didn't tell me she was coming here but she told you."

"Do you understand why? You haven't exactly been the most supportive when it came to her and Angel. None of us have. But we have to step back and stay out of her personal life. We have interfered for much too long."

"Okay, I will set back and I will keep my mouth shut but he had better not hurt her again."

"Xander, we are her friends. That's all we are. He is her heart. Don't forget that."

Wesley looked up the stairs to see Angel hurrying down them. They met in the middle of the lobby. This was the first time they had come face to face since everything had happened. Each looked at the other not sure of what to say or where to begin. Angel frowned for a moment before starting to speak. "I haven't said thank you for finding me and bringing me home."

"It isn't necessary, the former Watcher answered.

"Yes, it is. But now I have to ask you for your help again and hope that you are willing to give it." He hesitated for a moment. "It's Buffy. She doesn't want to wake up and I can't help her." He sank down on the couch in the lobby. "I'm completely powerless to help her. I tried to talk to her but she won't listen to me. She's lost and she feels all alone. Nothing I can say to her will make her see how wrong she is."

"Is she? She has been isolated for years. She has been told what to think and what she should feel and who she should feel for. Don't you think that would make her feel alone?"

"She has had people around her who love her, who care for her. She has had friends, her family. What has happened to make her feel she has nothing and no one? She told me she has nothing to stay in this life for. She even told me she had only been filling in for Faith all this time."

"She's right. Faith is the actual Slayer. The line has passed through Buffy to Kendra to Faith. I don't know how to explain all of this to you. You need to understand how past events have led to this. Talk to Lorne; he says it much, much better than I can."

Angel stood up and moved closer to the garden door. He could see Willow and Xander arguing. The fact they were arguing about him was pretty obvious. He didn't have to know what they were actually saying. He turned back to Wesley. "Cordelia told me you knew she was having visions about Buffy and she wasn't telling us."

"I wasn't positive but I have suspected her for a long time."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Wesley looked him in the eye. "Would you have believed me?"

"I don't know. I would have wanted to believe you; but no, I probably wouldn't have."

"Then you have your answer."

"I knew Cordy didn't like Buffy. I would have never believed she would let her be harmed. She knows how much Buffy means to me."

"Really, when is the last time you told her? You never mention her. Not that we would have listened to you anyway. But the way you and Cordy had been acting one would swear you only had eyes for each other."

Angel ran his hand through hair. "I guess I deserved that. But I don't love Cordelia. I love Buffy."

Wesley thought for a moment. "I'm not the one you have to convince. It's Buffy you have to prove it too."

Spike and Faith set in silence in Angel's bedroom. Faith rose and went to the bed where the blonde Slayer lay. She sat down beside her smoothing her hair from her face and straightening her blanket. "I can't believe Angel couldn't get through to her. Even though she had that Riley guy after Angel left I still would have thought he could reach her."

Spike snorted, "Riley, you mean Captain Cardboard? She never loved him. She has always loved Angel and only Angel."

Faith searched his face. "Does that bother you? You know, that she loved him and not you?"

He sat down in the chair she had vacated. "Once it did. I told myself she loved me she just didn't want to admit it. It was never the truth. After everything happened I was angry. I left to get this chip out of my head. I was going to kill her when I got back." He paused for a moment. "I got this soul instead and a lot of pain and guilt. So much guilt for the things I have done the things I have tried to do."

"What are we going to do now?"

"I don't know. Just wait and hope that Red or the others will find a way to wake her up." He rose and went to the door. "I have to get out of here for a while. I'm going to have a smoke, maybe kill something. I don't know. You want to come?"

"What about him, she asked as she indicated Connor still setting in the floor by the bed.

"I say let him set for a while. Let him see his handiwork."

Dawn came into the room. "I was looking for Connor. I brought him something to eat."

"He's here, said Faith.

Connor rose from his place on the floor. He wouldn't look Dawn in the face and she knew something was very wrong. "What happened?"

Spike grabbed Faith's hand to leave. "Ask Angel's boy there. Let him give you all the details, every bloody one of them." They left the room, leaving the two teenagers alone with the comatose Slayer.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 21

Spike and Faith reached the lobby just as Fred answered the telephone. "Angel Investigations, We help the helpless. Yes…yes, we can handle that. What is that address?" She hung up the phone and called to Gunn. "Hey guess what? We have a client."

Gunn came out of the kitchen. "Alright, back in business. What is it, Demons, vampires, what?"

Faith watched them confused. "Are you guys getting paid to fight demons?"

Cordelia looked at her. "Well yes, that is what we do. They hire us; we take care of whatever their little problem is. They pay us. It is the American way."

Spike looked over at Willow. "Now why didn't any of the Sunnydale gang think of charging people for saving their asses? Buffy would be a millionaire by now and the rest of us would be setting pretty."

Xander spoke from the garden doorway. "Well Anya did think of it. You know, Buffy charging for her help. She refused." He looked at Cordelia pointedly. "She didn't think it was right to charge people for doing her duty."

Cordelia snorted, "Well that's just Buffy for you, always the martyr."

Everyone turned to glare at her and she stole a quick glance at Angel who was watching her from the door of his office. He turned and went inside with Wesley behind him. Cordelia knew she had made a mistake and hurried to cover, "Willow, I wanted to talk to you if you have a minute."

Willow looked at her suspiciously, "What is it?"

Cordelia went on, "I know that you are this very powerful witch and I just wondered if maybe you knew a spell that could help me have a vision. You know a vision on how we can all help Buffy. Don't you think it's worth a try?"

Willow folded her arms in front of her. "Cordelia, if I had a spell that could help Buffy I would just do it myself. I wouldn't have any need for you to have any of your "visions." She glared at her angrily, "If I could do anything but feel this damned powerless I would have already done it."

Cordelia shrugged her shoulders. "I was only trying to help."

Spike smirked before turning to Gunn, "Okay who's the Big Bad? Would you be interested in a little back up?" He nodded at Faith who grinned.

Gunn's face brightened. "Yes, Hell yes, let's grab the details, and get out of here." He took the slip of paper from Fred and they headed out the door.

Dawn stood beside the bed watching her sister and Connor on the other side of her. "Are you going to tell me what happened? Is it bad?"

"She doesn't want to wake up, he whispered. Dawn frowned. "What do you mean she doesn't want to wake up?"

He looked into her eyes. "She told him she doesn't want to come back. She said they can't bring her back."

Dawn started to cry. "That isn't true. She wants to get better. Maybe Angel isn't the one to talk to her. Maybe we have all been wrong. I know they have this blood thing but maybe someone else could talk to her." She moved away from him. "Willow can do something. All we have to do is go talk to Willow. She is powerful, she really is. You wouldn't believe the things she can do. She can fix this. I know she can fix this." She moved to the door leaving him alone with Buffy.

Connor sat there in silence. He realized if he was really quiet and really still he could hear her breathing. He rose from his place on the floor to study her. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Her color had improved and Faith had said she was doing better. He remembered what Dawn had said about the blood thing Buffy shared with Angel. He had heard the others mention it also. There was a strong bond between the vampire and the blonde Slayer that no one else could breach. "But what if, he thought. "What if maybe I could reach her? I could tell her how sorry I am. I could tell her I was wrong and would she please wake up." He knew the others didn't trust him with her and no doubt someone would be up here quickly as soon as they realized Dawn had left him alone with her. He needed to get her somewhere where he could be alone with her for a little while. Maybe then he could talk to her before anyone came after her.

Fred moved around the kitchen trying to stay busy as Lorne watched her from his place at the table. He knew she was nervous and would be until Gunn returned with the others. "He's okay you know. He has Spike and Faith with him."

She turned from her place at the counter. "It's not him I'm worried about. Have you noticed Wesley getting any sleep or even really eating since Buffy got hurt? He blames himself for her being up there in that bed. He thinks if he hadn't gone and persuaded her to come here she would be safe now."

Lorne shook his head. "He doesn't know that. Buffy made the decision to step in front of that arrow. She did it because her love for Angel is greater than her love for life. She did it for him. I have no doubt she would do it again whether it was here or in Sunnydale. The little blonde has saved him on more than one occasion and she always will. There isn't anything Wesley could do to change that."

"That isn't going to stop him from feeling guilty for it or from reading those books of his. What is he searching for? He has been researching almost non stop and when I offered to help him he turned me down. He said it was something he had to do himself."

"This is all something Wesley has to work through on his own. All we can do is be here if he needs us." He studied her for a moment. "Is there something else to all of this?"

"No, she said hurriedly, "It's just that he just came back to all of us. I know I was really angry with him but I'm not anymore and I just want him to be part of us again. I've missed having him here to talk to and well, I've just missed him."

Angel stood in the corner of his office not really listening to Wesley as he talked on. All he could think about was his conversation with Buffy. She didn't believe he still loved her. He would always love her. He just didn't think they could ever be together so he had tried to put all those feelings aside. He even deluded himself into thinking he had feelings for Cordelia. Wesley was right. He never mentioned her but Cordelia always gave him grief for what she called his Buffy face. He hadn't made an attempt to talk to Buffy. He hadn't even called Giles to check on her. He had always assumed he would just know if something was wrong but he hadn't known when she died the last time. He had been in Pylea and he hadn't known until he had opened the door and found Willow setting in the lobby. He reached for the chain around his neck pulling on the small ring. He looked at the matching one that resided on his hand. These rings had meant everything when he had put hers on her finger.

"Angel, said Wesley, did you hear what I said?"

The vampire raised his head and looked up the stairs. He had seen Dawn come down and he knew she was in the garden with Xander and Willow. Faith and Spike were gone with Gunn and Lorne was in the kitchen with Fred. The realization dawned on him. He threw open the office door and ran up the stairs. He opened the bedroom door but he already knew what he would find. Buffy was gone. Cordelia sat in a chair in the otherwise empty room. His demon came forward taking control at the sight of the false seer. He pulled her from the chair and shoved her against the wall. "Where is she," he roared.

"I don't know, Cordelia sobbed. "I really don't know. I came up here and she was gone. Connor's gone too."

Angel continued to hold her against the wall. "You let him take her. Where did he go? You are lying to me just as you've always lied where she is concerned."

Wesley and Spike came into the room grabbing Angel's arms. He pushed them off and went for her again but Faith stepped between them. "Angel, stop a minute. You don't want to hurt her. She may deserve it but it isn't your call. Think before you do something you will regret later."

He stepped back and looked at Faith. "If he has done something to hurt her again and if she has helped him no one will be able to stop me."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Author's Note: I'm sorry I took so long in getting this out but to make amends this isn't the only chapter you'll see today.

Part 22

Connor moved swiftly down the street holding Buffy close to him. He had grabbed the blanket when he had taken her taking great pains to cover her hair. In the pre-dawn hours there weren't many people about but that didn't mean there wasn't someone who might see him and inform his father. He looked around searching for a safe haven. He knew Angel would find them eventually so he had to put as much space as possible between them and his father before the sun rose. Angel might not be able to follow them above ground but there were always the sewers and his father knew them well in his four years of living in Los Angeles. He didn't know how long it would be before anyone realized they had gone and he was worried about what might happen to Cordelia when they discovered she hadn't tried to stop him.

'He had gathered the blanket around the sleeping Slayer and picked her up heading for the door when Cordelia had stepped in the room. No words had been exchanged as she had merely stepped inside and moved out of his way. He had carried Buffy past her stopping to look back at the seer. "I'm not going to hurt her." Cordelia had only nodded as she had taken a seat in the chair by the bed thus allowing him to make his escape.' Connor ducked into an abandoned warehouse and surveyed his surroundings. He figured they were a couple of miles from the hotel by now but it still wasn't enough. Even if Angel and Spike couldn't come after them he knew Faith and Gunn would immediately as well as Buffy's friends from Sunnydale. He thought of her sister Dawn. He had expected her to lash out at him after what he had done to Buffy but instead she was the one who remained calm and accepting of the situation.

When she had asked for his story he had never expected her to have such a remarkable one of her own concerning her own origins. He hoped she wouldn't be too upset with him over this latest thing but he didn't really have much choice. He had heard the pain in his father's voice when he told them she had no wish to return and basically had all but given up. To have this on his already overburdened conscience was more than the young man could bear so it had led to this conclusion. An idea came to him. He knew where he could take her that the others would not consider. He knew if he went by sewer he could get there sooner than trying to move above ground. He felt for the bag he had slung over his shoulder in his haste to leave. Everything was here. He once more picked up the tiny woman and headed down into the sewers. A short distance and two turns and he would be there. He still had the key in his pocket all he had to do was make sure no one saw them. He looked down at the sleeping woman. "We'll be there soon."

Cordelia sat on the couch on the lobby surrounded by the others. She had yet to say a word since Faith had stepped between her and Angel in his bedroom. The dark Slayer had led her out of the room and down into the lobby where she now sat. Angel was still very upset, game force fully evident while Wesley and Willow tried to calm him in the office. Lorne approached her taking a seat beside her.

"Cordelia, you have to tell us what you know. Angel is not just going to let his boy take off with Buffy you know that. Just tell us what he said and what he plans to do and then tell me why for the love of all did you let him take her?"

Cordelia looked at him and shook her head no before bursting into tears. Xander took pity on her and came to her side.

"Cordy, if you don't know where Connor took Buffy then that's okay. We will find her. If you say they were gone when you got there then I believe you."

"I don't, cut in Gunn. "I think you let him take her. I don't know what you hope to gain from it because I can tell you Angel won't forgive this. I thought I knew you Cordelia, I guess we were all wrong."

"We don't know Cordelia helped him. Maybe she is telling the truth, said Fred. "She doesn't want Buffy hurt, she really doesn't."

Angel strode out of the office with Wesley behind him. Faith could see the look on his now human face and stepped closer to Cordelia. He towered over the woman on the couch. He didn't speak to her but looked down at her with a mixture of emotions on his face. He moved away from her and over to the doorway where he could see the sun was now rising in the sky.

Dawn spoke to the group. "I don't know where Connor has taken Buffy. I only know he doesn't want to hurt her. He wanted her to wake up so he could tell her how sorry he was. He wants her forgiveness. I don't believe he wants to hurt her."

"Taking her away from here where we can watch over her is hurting her, said Wesley. "Buffy is in a comatose state. We don't know what might happen without anyone around to monitor her."

Spike moved from his place by the stairs. "Well I don't know about the rest of you but I'm not going to wait for you to decide what the boy's intentions are. I'm going hunting."

"I'm coming with you, cut in Gunn. He looked around. "Where's Angel?"

Lorne smiled. "He's gone to get his girl."

Faith stole another look at Cordelia. "You aren't going to tell us anything are you?" Cordelia sat with her eyes closed remaining silent. Faith moved her gaze back to Spike. "I'm coming too."

"So am I, added Willow.

Spike smirked and nodded to Gunn. "Let's get this show on the road."

"You can't go outside. The sun is out." Xander looked out the garden door.

Gunn looked at Spike. "We can take the sewers. That's how Angel had to go. But how are we going to track him and find her?"

"That's simple, the blonde vamp answered. "I'll follow my nose."

The group hurried into the sewer entrance and down the tunnel leaving the others behind. The sound of the front door opening caused the rest of to turn. Giles stepped into the foyer carrying a small bag. He looked at Wesley. "Where is she? How is Buffy?"

Dawn came to him hugging him tight. "I'm so glad your here."

Wesley moved forward. "Rupert, you had better come in and take a seat. Much has happened since we spoke on the phone."

His eyes moved to Fred. "I'll put the teapot on, she offered.

"I will help, said Dawn and she followed her into the kitchen.

Wesley moved to the office stopping to take in Cordelia on the sofa with Lorne still beside her, "Make sure she doesn't leave."

Lorne was studying her face. "I don't think she's going anywhere."

He looked into her eyes. The irises were completely white as if something or someone had pulled a veil over them. He waved his hand in front of her face. "Cordelia's blind. She can't see anything."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 23 Rating: R

Connor laid Buffy down gently upon the bed in Wesley's apartment. No one knew he had ever been here before so he didn't feel like this was somewhere they would look for them. He moved quickly to dig through his bag setting aside the books and finally finding the knife at the bottom. His fingers reached around the handle as he drew it out. It was a dagger he had taken from Angel's trophy case before Wesley brought him back to the hotel. The handle was mother of pearl and the blade gleamed silver in the sunlight. He quickly closed all the curtains before moving back to the bed. He removed his shoes and sat down next to her. He had been listening closely while the others had been talking about the strong blood bond between Buffy and Angel. He didn't know if this would work but maybe he had enough of his father's blood in him that he would be able to find her too. He needed to tell her how sorry he was. He needed to ask her to wake up and talk to all of them. He wanted her to know how upset his father and Dawn were and how all of them were still at the hotel waiting for her. He moved her hair away from her face and pulled the blanket up over her legs. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible before he started. He reached for the book Willow had left in Angel's bedroom and he had taken with him. He had taken note of the incantation she had used to put Angel to sleep but he needed one he could do on himself. Flipping through the pages he found what he hoped might work. Realizing he needed a few ingredients he rose and quickly hunted around the apartment. He knew enough about Wesley to know he was more than just a former Watcher and now a demon hunter. Wesley was becoming quite skilled at the majicks himself. He found the incense and the oil and moved to the bedroom once more opening the chest in which he had found the books on his earlier visit. He opened a box finding several stones removing the rose quartz. The stone was warm to his touch and he could feel the power emanating within it. He quickly lit the incense and taking the oil placed a drop on each of his temples. He lay down on the bed and clutched the rose quartz tightly in his palm while he held her hand in his other. Buffy had known when he was in the garden watching her maybe she would know he was trying to reach her. He took several deep breaths trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He shut his eyes tightly but nothing was working. There had to be something else. His eyes fell on the knife he had left on the table next to the bed. Blood to blood, that was it. They needed to be blood to blood. He rose quickly and reached for the dagger. Looking at her he hesitated for a moment taking in her face and small form. He felt nothing but admiration for the blonde woman and he could understand his father's love for her.

"I'm sorry I have to do this but I don't know what else to try." He took her palm and drew the blade across it drawing blood to the skin. He let it begin to cover her palm before drawing the blade across his own palm. He watched as his own blood rose to the surface. He lay down quickly again and clasped her bloody hand in his. He felt his eyes growing heavy as he remembered what he had heard Willow say.

'Here is her body, now find her soul. Call to her, reach for her, find her.' He fell into a deep sleep her bloody hand still clasped tightly in his own.

Cordelia opened her sightless eyes and the others could see her irises were completely white. Fred was crying openly as she clasped Dawn's hand in the kitchen doorway. They watched helplessly as the seer rose to her feet and groped blindly in front of her. A white light surrounded her and caught her in its beam causing her to tremble and cry as its heat enveloped her. She tugged at her hair the blonde locks becoming once again dark between her fingers. The light diminished and Xander reached for her hand drawing her to him while Lorne watched on in horror. Wesley and Giles moved in closer while she sobbed. She threw back her head and screamed. Xander grabbed her before she fell to the floor. "Cordy, Cordy, can you hear me?"

"What's going on?" shouted Giles as they watched the woman writhe in Xander's arms while he tried to hang on to her.

Lorne reached for her other arm trying to help Xander hold her. "Her visions are never like this. She's in pain, so much pain. I don't know if she can take it this time."

"Connor, she sobbed, "Buffy, Connor, so much blood. She stiffened in Xander's arms.

"Wesley's, she whispered.

"Wesley's" before she fainted.

"What did she say, demanded Giles. Xander looked at the two former Watchers in confusion. "She said Buffy and Connor, blood and then she said Wesley's"

Wesley hurried to the phone. She's at my apartment. Connor took her to my apartment." He tried to reach Angel on his cell. The phone rang and rang but there wasn't any answer. "We don't have time to find Angel. I'm going to my place."

Lorne took another look at Cordelia in Xander's arms. "I'm coming with you." The two men and Giles hurried out the door.

Fred and Dawn rushed to Xander's aid as he placed Cordelia on the sofa. She was still out and they stood over her. Fred ran her fingers through Cordelia's once again dark hair.

"Lorne is right. Her visions are never this bad and they've never made her blind before. I don't understand."

Dawn spoke up. "But Connor told me the Powers made her half demon so she could take the pain."

Cordelia began to stir and Fred helped her set up.

"They did make her half demon but it's not helping her now."

Cordelia sat holding her head in her hands.

"It's my punishment, she sobbed. "The powers are punishing me for abusing my visions." She looked up at them through her blind eyes. "I'm a seer who no longer sees."

Angel moved swiftly through the sewers tracking the scent of Connor and Buffy. He had taken a wrong turn back a ways but had stopped for a moment forgetting about Connor. He had closed his eyes and concentrated on Buffy letting his soul rise and reach out for her, his blood call to her and the vampiric call of mate to mate search for her. He knew it was risky letting Angelus get this close to the surface but he needed the demon's help to locate her. Her blood flowed through his body and both of them recognized the life essence it contained. She was not just Angel's but Angelus's too and when she had crawled into his lap looking the demon in the eyes and speaking directly to him he knew she had understood and accepted it. She had taken care of both of them and he realized the woman that had come to his aid this time was much stronger than the one he had walked away from in Sunnydale. He knew Angelus would have never allowed them to be separated but instead would have done everything in his power to turn her and make her his for an eternity. He could feel her presence nearby and he knew that Connor was close too. He hadn't any idea how he would deal with his offspring but he knew that Angelus would gladly render him limb from limb. He entered the basement of what he knew was an apartment building as he could sense the heartbeats of the people who lived there. His child had carried Buffy through here earlier and he followed behind them.

Connor opened his eyes to find he was in a cemetery. He didn't recognize his surroundings but then he realized he was standing by a grave his hand still in Buffy's. He looked over at her but she remained silent as she stared down at the headstone in front of her.

His eyes grew wide as he read the inscription.

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS 1981-2001 BELOVED SISTER DEVOTED FRIEND SHE SAVED THE WORLD A LOT

"This was your grave. You were buried here. Why are we here?"

She nodded her head before turning to look at him. "You picked this place. I'm kind of surprised to see you here Connor. I would have expected your father again but not you." She looked into his face. "You are thinking about death. That is why we are here. When your father came we were at the beach in the sunlight." Connor opened his mouth but she held up her hand. "It's private. Now why are you here? Why did you want to see me?"

He cleared his throat. "I hope you're not angry at me for coming. I just really wanted to talk to you. I wanted to ask you to please wake up and let everyone know you are okay."

She moved away from him but found she couldn't let go of his hand. She looked down at their bloody fingers. "Your father doesn't know you're here, does he?"

He shook his head. "No, though I am sure he is searching for us right now. I took you out of the hotel and now we are at Wesley's apartment. I wanted a chance to tell you how sorry I am for trying to kill you. I wish I could take it back, I really do."

She turned to him and her other hand went to his forehead pushing his hair out of his face. "I know you weren't trying to kill me. You were aiming for your father. I just couldn't let you hurt him though."

"So you let me hurt you instead. I know you were trying to save him but you didn't. He's hurt anyway. He doesn't care what happens to him now. All he cares about is you."

She looked at him alarmed. "No, he will be okay. Angel is strong and he will go on just as he has been, without me. He has his group around him. He even has Cordelia."

Connor tugged at her hand pulling her closer to him. "I know what you think and you are wrong. He doesn't love Cordelia. He's still in love with you." Sensing he wasn't getting through to her he added, "He asked me to kill him."

"What? What do you mean he asked you to kill him?"

He could see he had upset her so he pressed on. "He said if you died I was supposed to finish the job I started. He told me he has no desire to live without you. He said he was too much of a coward to kill himself when you died the last time so this time if you died I was supposed to kill him. He made me promise."

"But I'm not dead. He knows I'm not dead. You don't have to keep that promise."

To him if you don't come back it's the same thing. You should see him now. He's does nothing but set by your bed. When I wake up if your still here he will expect me to keep my promise."

"No, she said pulling on his hand. "You can't do that. I didn't do this just so you could kill him."

He looked down at her his voice rising. "Why not, what you're doing is killing him; it's just doing it slower. He does not want to live without you. He has made that very clear to me. He has never asked me for anything but he wants this and I promised him."

Angel burst through the door of Wesley's apartment and hurried into the bedroom. There he found Connor and Buffy both on the bed their bloody hands clasped together. He reached for Buffy but found he couldn't touch her. There was an invisible barrier around them that he couldn't push through. He leaned back and looked around the bed at the faint glow that surrounded them. Wesley raced into the bedroom with Lorne and Giles right behind them. Angel tried again to break the barrier but it held him back. Lorne rushed forward, "No, don't. You can't interrupt them."

Spike, Faith and Willow came into the room with Gunn behind them. The dark haired Slayer moved around to the other side of the bed from Angel. She could see the faint glow as well as the rest of them. She looked up at Angel taking note of the pain in his face. "It's just like the glow that surrounded you and B when you went to her. Your kid went to talk to her Angel. Maybe he's getting somewhere."

Lorne studied the two on the bed before looking at Angel. "He went to ask her for forgiveness." He held his hand out to the light but did not try to touch it. "They are together, they are both in pain but it isn't from this." He pointed to their hands.

"How do you know all of this, asked Giles.

"I don't know, answered the green demon. "All I can say is their emotions are so strong I don't have to hear them. I can feel them in the air. It's the same with Buffy and Angel. I can feel their feelings for each other. I've never been able to do that with any other beings before." He looked at Faith. "Except for you, the morning I met you and your sister Slayer I could feel your pain. Maybe it's a Slayer thing between the two of you ladies. I think it's more than that. You and Buffy share a bond that's almost as strong as the blood bond between her and the big guy here. I have no doubt if it was you on that bed instead of the boy you would be with her now." He could see the tears starting to form in Faith's dark eyes before she blinked them away so he continued. "Buffy understands this bond. She loves you just as much as you love her. I thought you might like to know that."

Spike stepped forward. "That doesn't tell us what we should do now. You tell us not to disturb them so what do we do now?"

Lorne met Willow's gaze and she nodded. He scanned the room taking in all their faces. "We wait."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 24 Rating: R

Buffy was agitated as she moved around Connor but still could not let go of his hand. She turned to face him. "How did you get here?"

He raised their bloody hands. "Blood to blood, I happen to have just enough of my Father's blood to reach you. At least I think that's how it works." He could see her mind working while she processed her thoughts.

"So you came here to tell me if I don't come back with you then you are going to wake up and kill your Father."

He sighed heavily. "I didn't say I wanted to do it. I said I promised him I would do it."

"Well I am releasing you from your promise. You tell Angel I am not dead and I expect him to remain very much alive."

"Why don't you tell him yourself? Come back with me and talk to him. Whatever it is that has kept the two of you apart can be worked out. I know you love him as much as he loves you."

She turned her back on him, well as much as one can turn away from someone while still holding his hand. "Your father is the one who kept us apart. Well him and that damned curse. I can't be around your father because we can't chance Angelus getting free again." She looked away from him in discomfort.

"You mean because everyone is afraid you might make him too happy." He snorted when he saw the look she gave him. "I am eighteen years old. I know what sex is." He saw her cringe and he softened his tone. "I also know what making love is. I know that's how it is with you and my Father. I think you could get around that if you both really wanted to."

"There's much more to it than that. Angel and I aren't the same people anymore. It doesn't matter what we might think or what we might feel. We don't work. We can't work."

Connor looked to the night sky taking in a deep breath. "So you're telling me you aren't coming back with me?"

She shook her head. "I told your Father I haven't any reason to go back. They don't need me to slay now that Faith is out and I just want it all to end. I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of the emptiness. I just want to lie down and sleep for a very long time."

He moved closer to her looking her in the eyes. "So that's it. You've made your decision and no one can talk you out of it. You're going to do this no matter how many lives you destroy, no matter how many people are hurt by it. You're just going to give up and turn your back on everyone who loves you."

She glared at him angrily. "You don't know what my life has been like. You don't know what my death was like, either of them."

"No, he answered, I don't know what you are like and I never will. All I know is what I have heard from the others, what Dawn has told me while we have waited for you the past couple of days and what I read in Wesley's journals. All I know is you haven't left me with much choice here. I made a promise to my Father. I didn't want to make it and I know I can't keep it. I won't kill him. I can't."

Buffy smiled at him. "That's good then."

"No, it isn't. Because I won't go back and look at him while he dies a little more each day because of what I've done. I am the reason for much of his pain and I'm ending it now." He reached inside his shirt feeling for the dagger he had put there after he had cut their palms. Leaning over he kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you for talking with me. I wish I had the chance to know you better. I know you don't blame me but I do. If I hadn't shot you none of this would be happening and maybe you and my Father could be happy. I don't know."

Buffy frowned at him. "Connor, I forgive you. This isn't your fault."

He smiled bitterly. "Yes it is. I should have never been born. I was never meant to be and I know it just as everyone else does." He studied her face. "I understand how my Father can love you. Maybe I love you just a little bit too." He pulled out the dagger and she gasped upon seeing it. He plunged it into his chest and fell to his knees.

The others in the bedroom watched in horror as Buffy screamed in her sleep. She sobbed openly, "Connor, oh my God, Connor." Angel moved to her to break the barrier but Lorne shouted.

"No Angel, you can't touch them."

Faith was the first to see the blood form underneath Connor's shirt. "Angel, look." The blood flowed from his chest and down his side pooling between the boy and Buffy.

"Lorne, shouted Angel, We have to do something."

Willow intervened. "We can't bring them back. They have to do it themselves."

Angel countered, "But Connor's hurt and I know Buffy. She won't leave him."

Willow looked up at Faith. "There might be a way but I will need your help."

The dark haired woman nodded her head. "Anything, just tell me what to do."

Willow looked at Lorne. "I think I can go in and get them but I need someone to ground me. Someone strong I can trust not to let me go, no matter what happens." She looked at Giles. "It can't be someone who cares about me. They might have to hurt me to get me back."

She looked at Faith. "Can you do that?"

"I don't want to hurt you Willow."

"You want Buffy and Connor back don't you?"

"You know I do."

"Then we have to do this."

She reached for her hand just as Cordelia made her way into the bedroom with Xander.

"No Willow, don't do it. It has to be me."

The others gasped at the sight of Cordelia and Xander. Cordelia's hair was once again dark but now it flowed down around her waist. Her sightless eyes were white and glowing and she moved around the others to reach the end of the bed. Willow reached for Angel's arm moving him away from Buffy. He resisted for a moment. "She's right, she told him. "It has to be her."

Faith stepped back beside Spike and he took her hand holding it tightly. The others moved back out of the way as Cordelia reached her hands out to the two on the bed. She moved until she felt the warm glow of the barrier and then hesitated for a moment. Taking a deep breath she plunged her hands inside and let the light envelop her also. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, her body rising and floating above the pair on the bed. She reached down and lifted their joined hands in both of hers holding them to her. The light became blinding and everyone had to look away from its brilliance. The first sound they heard was Buffy talking to Connor. They opened their eyes to see her setting on the bed holding his upper body in her lap. She was crying as she smoothed his hair and held him to her.

"Hold on, Connor. Please hold on." She rocked him in her arms as she tried to stop the blood that was flowing from the wound in his chest. Wesley and Gunn moved to her.

"Buffy, let us take him. We need to take him to the hospital."

She nodded and relinquished her hold on him. She seemed to be in a daze as Angel knelt before her. "Buffy, are you okay? Look at me." She raised her head to him. "He wanted to die, Angel. I told him I forgave him but he couldn't forgive himself."

He reached out for her and she moved into his arms letting him hold her as they sat in the floor by the bed.

Cordelia lay at the other end in a tangled heap with the bloody covers. Her dark hair was now streaked with gray and her face was ashen. Xander checked her pulse finding it was weak. He picked her up moving quickly to the door. "We have another one here." He carried her out of the bedroom while Giles and Willow followed him. Faith looked at Spike who was breathing heavily at the smell of all the blood in the room. She went to gather up the bloody covers and remove them. Walking by Angel and Buffy still in the floor she noticed the small pool of blood on the floor. She dropped the covers and bent down by the blonde Slayer. Buffy's right hand hung limply at her side still dripped blood though the wound wasn't deep. She picked up her hand and bit her lip looking up at Lorne who moved in closer. He inspected Buffy's hand and held it up to Angel. "You need to close the wound."

Angel looked up at him. "No, she needs to go to the hospital."

The demon shook his head. "This isn't an ordinary cut. Her blood bond with Connor was broken on the other plane. She needs your blood to close it, only you can close the wound."

Angel looked down at her hand feeling his demon moving forward. He hesitated and Spike came to them his vamp face in front. "Damn it. If you don't do it, I will. You've been drinking her blood for weeks now. I think it's too damn late to get squeamish. Are you planning to let her bleed to death?"

Lorne looked in Angel's vampiric face. "You can't do it Spike. It has to be him. He is her mate. It has to be him."

Buffy looked into the face of the demon who held her in his embrace. "You heard him. It has to be you." She looked into his eyes. "The question is Angelus, do you want to save me?" She caressed his ridged forehead and traced his cheek with her other hand. "I already told you I'm not afraid of you anymore."

The dark vampire picked up the dagger and drew it across his chest bringing his own blood to the surface. Taking her bleeding palm he held it over the wound above his heart. His eyes never left her face as he held her his blood mixing once more with her own.

"You must do it now, instructed Lorne and he lifted her hand away from his chest. Putting her bloody palm to his lips he began to lick the cut on her palm letting his saliva ebb the blood flow and close the wound. She put her forehead to his, looking into his golden eyes as his vampire vestige changed and she was once more looking into Angel's deep brown eyes. She looked down at the blood on his chest and leaned over kissing the injury. Angel's eyes grew wide as Buffy licked the small patch of blood on his chest. She raised her head and kissed him lightly letting him taste the copper on her lips. She leaned away, looking down she ran her finger over the now sealed wound and then the silver chain around his neck. She pulled it out his shirt, inspecting her ring on the end. Her gaze dropped down to his hand where his matching ring once again resided. She tucked it back inside his shirt for safekeeping letting her warm hand linger for just a moment on his broad chest. She moved from his embrace taking the hand Faith held out to her. The two Slayers looked into each others eyes for a moment before Buffy put her arms around Faith enveloping her in a hug. The two women stayed like that for a few minutes as Faith struggled with the tears that threatened to flow down her cheeks. Buffy swayed for just a moment before using Faith's arm to steady herself. "I think I've been in bed too long, she joked. She stood up beside her but frowned when she looked down at her feet. "I don't have any shoes."

Faith laughed. "Don't worry. We have your shoes." Buffy frowned again. "Do you have my toothbrush too?"

Faith smiled again. "Your toothbrush too; you ready to go back to the hotel?" Buffy nodded. She let Faith lead her toward the door before turning back to Angel. "Are you coming with us?" He raised his head and looked at her before taking the hand Spike held out to him. He rose to his feet and looked over at Lorne who was grinning at him. He looked up at Spike whose expression was blank. He rose to his fee buttoning his shirt.

"I'm right behind you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 25 Rating: R

Angel moved silently through the hotel waiting for Buffy to return from the hospital with the others. Connor would have to stay in the hospital for another day but it was Cordelia who had the others worried. She was being released today but she was also still blind. Angel hadn't seen her when he was at the hospital last night. She had left instructions with the nurses that only her family visit, her father or her brother, namely Giles or Xander. The others didn't understand the reasoning behind this but Angel felt it was because perhaps she felt the most comfortable with them right now. He didn't know how to reconcile his own feelings where Cordelia was concerned. She had been one of his best friends and along with the rest of his team had gone through much together. To find out she had betrayed his trust in her was a hard thing to accept even after she had admitted it herself. Fred had told him how Cordelia believed the blindness was her punishment but then she had also led them to Buffy and Connor. He raised his head listening for a moment. He knew Dawn and Fred were with Gunn. Lorne was in his room and Spike and Faith were asleep in her room upstairs. He shook his head at the thought of Faith with Spike but then who was he to tell her how to live her life. He hadn't been very good at living his own since he left Sunnydale. Hell, he had never been very good at living even before Darla bit him in that alley. His thoughts went once more to Buffy and her behavior after leaving Wesley's yesterday. They had gone down into the basement to follow the sewers back when once again her lack of shoes had come up. She had allowed him to pick her up, carrying her the whole way until they reached the hotel. She weighed next to nothing as she had ridden on his back her breath against his ear, the feel of her breasts against her back as she had snuggled close to him. She had kept her hands around his neck, at times one under his shirt to caress his chest and tangle the chain that hung there. Faith had been aware of Buffy's ministrations and had grinned before moving a little ahead of them to walk beside Spike. She had kissed his cheek to thank him after they arrived and then headed for his room, Faith in tow, for a shower and change of clothes. She seemed to be okay physically and Fred had even managed to feed her a hearty meal but then she was off to the hospital where she remained at Connor's bedside until his own arrival after sundown. She had moved over letting him take her place by his son's bedside but when he had looked down at him he still had no words and no outlet to express his feelings. Upon returning to the hotel she had stayed in Dawn's room talking with her sister until the wee hours of the morning before sharing her sister's bed. Wesley and Willow had remained awake as well pouring over books searching for something but not wishing to discuss the details. Angel thought they were looking for a way to cure Cordelia and had left them to their task. Today Buffy was relaxed, even content as she moved around the others laughing at a joke or smoothing Dawn's hair. She would move closer to him patting his arm or ruffling his hair at the back of his neck before moving on. He had caught Lorne and Spike looking at him on more than one occasion and he knew they were as aware of her facade as he was. There had been no more mention of the ring around his neck but his was still fully evident on his finger. He didn't move her belongings from his room and she was well aware they were all there and hadn't made any move to remove them either. He knew they needed to talk but she seemed unavailable to spend any time alone with him. He rose from his chair sensing her presence in the building. He had been unaware of her arrival this time as he knew she was already upstairs. He went to the refrigerator and took out his dinner heating it up slightly before pouring it into a glass. He stood at the sink while he drank the contents washing his face and rinsing his glass before heading upstairs. He paused outside his bedroom door waiting. He knew she was inside and he started to knock but then he remembered it was his room too. He pushed open the door to find her asleep on his bed. He closed the door silently and made his way down the stairs. He moved down the hallway to Lorne's room knocking lightly on the door.

"Come in Angel, called the smiling demon. The vampire frowned at hearing the greeting. "How did you know it was me?"

Lorne indicated a chair in front of him. "I had thought you might have come sooner but then you are incredibly stubborn. Have a seat."

Angel looked at him nervously. "I was hoping you might read me. I know you hate my singing but I need to know."

"You don't need me to tell you what you have in your heart and soul. You already know."

"Still, I think maybe you might...."

"Listen up angel cakes, before a couple of weeks ago I have never met anyone who didn't have to sing before I could read them. Then comes your little blonde honey."

"Buffy?" "What about her?"

The night I got back Fred insisted I stick my head in your room and take a look at the two of you. I felt bad about sticking my nose in but I'm glad I did. That night she was curled up next to you and you were holding on to her like your next breath depended on it. She had this look on her face." He smiles remembering.

"Peace, pure and utter peace and happiness. She is a beautiful lady, you know."

"Lorne ..."

"Oh, okay back to what I was going to say. Well, she was radiant and you, you big boy. You reminded me of the king of the jungle, all laid up there with your arms full of beautiful lady and purring like the lion himself. I do know what it means when vamps purr Angel. I can't say I've seen it before then but I know what it is. It means you were happy, that you felt safe. For a vampire to feel safe in the arms of a Slayer well that's something in itself. After that night she closed off. She's so busy holding everything in but sometimes when she thinks no one notices I see it. That scene in the lobby where she stopped you from stepping outside and becoming dust in the wind, I realized then that each of you were walking around with a part of you missing. There were two halves of you. Together you are a whole. I explained this to Cordelia and the others and I know I said it more eloquently then but let me put it this way. Many people aren't lucky enough to find their one true love, their soulmate. Fate brought the two of you together and I know I've heard the story about how the Powers never expected the two of you to fall in love and all that trash. Well then if that is true they need to wipe their eyes and take a closer look at their warriors for the cause. You two just being in the same room together makes the air thicker, the lights brighter and just every more, well everything. I didn't know what you were like before we met so I never got the chance to see the two of you together. Now that I have I know you can't go on without each other. The two of you have had a bond the others couldn't begin to understand and didn't take much stock in but now it's much, much more. I already warned you about getting any ideas about giving her up again. I told you I didn't think she could take it; well I don't think you would survive either. Life is short, for her anyway and your girl deserves some happiness. I know you think you're going to live forever and you think she deserves better but you tried that already. Where did that leave the two of you?"

Angel shook his head. "But what if I'm not what she wants? I can't even get her to stand still long enough to talk to me."

Lorne shook his head at his friend. "Have you told her you wanted to talk to her? Have you even asked her to stay with you? Have you even asked her what she wants now? From the way I hear it you have always done the walking away. Maybe it's time you tried setting down with her, telling her how you feel, and begging her to take you back even though you are a hard-headed lug who needs a smack on the back of his head every now and then. But I'll leave that up to her. Now no more excuses." He sat back in his chair.

"Go on and get out of here. How am I supposed to help the other souls around here when I have you two clouding my head all the time? Go see that woman and don't come out of that bedroom until you have everything worked out."

"You're forgetting one thing, Lorne. We still have a little problem with a curse."

Lorne laughed, "I said talk to her; I didn't say anything about getting physical, though you two looked pretty happy just sleeping. That's something is it not? And I wouldn't worry too much about that curse if I were you. I have a feeling it could become a non issue very quickly where certain people willing to do something about it." He rose from his seat. "I'm hungry and I need a drink. Oh and one more thing, put that ring back on her finger. Everyone knows you have it; don't you think it's time you returned it to her?"

Willow raised her tired head from the papers she had been studying. She smiled up at Wesley. "Do you really think this is it?"

He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Yes, this is it. I know this is it. Now we just have to talk to Buffy."

She looked at him questioningly, "You don't think we should talk to Angel too?"

He shook his head. "No, we were doing this for both of them. Angel will be afraid there's some risk and there is but Buffy is the one who needs to make this decision. It is her who will have to, well you know."

Willow smiled. "You know she will do this. She's upstairs. I'm going to go get her. Where's Angel right now?"

Wesley motioned down the hallway. "I saw him going to Lorne's room. He will probably be there for a while." He looked out the office window to see Xander and Giles enter the hotel with Cordelia. "You go get Buffy. I'll speak to Cordelia."

Cordelia stood in the lobby of the hotel her hand tucked firmly under Xander's arm. She hadn't wanted to return here but Xander and Giles had both insisted. She knew she needed to face the group again but she also knew forgiveness was more than she had the right to ask for. She could sense people moving around her but she still couldn't see anything. She knew Buffy and Connor were both okay so that was at least something. Someone came to her right side leaning close to her. Wesley took her other arm causing her to jump. "Cordelia, why don't you take a seat?"

Xander led her to the sofa and gently placed her on it. Wesley continued, "I am glad to know you are okay other than your unfortunate circumstance. I'm sure the others will want to speak with you. They have all been worried about you."

Buffy walked down the stairs with Willow stopping when she saw Cordelia in the lobby. She moved closer to her inspecting her closely. Cordelia's hair was still dark with streaks of gray, her face looked tired and drawn and her irises were still white. She spoke to her. "Cordelia, it's Buffy. I'm glad to see you are out of the hospital. We have all been worried about you." The dark haired woman didn't speak but nodded. Buffy continued, "I wanted you to know Connor is going to be okay. He was really worried about you and I want to thank you for saving him and me." "You don't have to thank me for saving him. He is family to me."

"I know that. But you brought me back too. For that I thank you."

Cordelia rose from her seat. "It's what I'm supposed to do, it's what I was given the visions for. I didn't help you before. I knew you were in trouble. More than once I knew and I didn't tell them."

"It doesn't matter now. I'm fine. I survived and I'm still standing here. I'm sorry you lost your sight. Maybe it will come back."

"I don't know. I think I would like to go home. Would someone please take me home?"

Xander looked at Buffy. "I'm going to take her. I will be there if you need me." He looked over at Angel who was coming into the lobby. "But I know you won't."

Buffy followed his gaze to Angel. "Okay, I will talk to you later."

Willow saw Angel and put her hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Wesley and I still need to talk to you."

The blonde Slayer nodded her head and followed her toward the office. Angel hesitated a moment before stepping forward. "Buffy" She stopped in the doorway to look back at him. He played with the ring on his hand nervously. "I need to see you, upstairs, when you are through, please."

She looked at his hands and then his face. "Okay" She followed Willow into the office and closed the door. Wesley spotted Lorne moving behind Angel and nodded to him. He then looked at the dark vampire. "She won't be long." He opened the office door and stepped inside closing the door behind him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 26

Angel paced nervously around the bedroom upstairs. If this is what Wesley meant by she won't be long then he didn't want to know what constituted as lengthy by the former Watcher's standards. He had been waiting for the better part of an hour and still no sign of Buffy. He had tried rehearsing what he wanted to say, he was busy pacing and nothing was working. He had heard Spike and Faith in the hallway just a few minutes ago. He had opened the door to find Faith pulling Spike down the hallway. When she had seen him she had stopped, grinned at him and given him a saucy little wave before pulling the blonde man down the stairs. He had frowned at her behavior but that was Faith and had once more gone back inside to pace and to worry. He still didn't know what he was going to say to Buffy. Nothing seemed to sound right when he had tried to rehearse it so now he had resorted to straightening the room before her arrival. He moved to the table by the bed picking up a pillow and straightening the books that lay there when he noticed a book that wasn't his. He took a look at the cover and smiled. She still had it. He remembered the night he had given her 'Sonnets from the Portuguese'. It had been on her eighteenth birthday and she had been preoccupied by her waning strength still unaware she was being put through the Cruciamentum test by Giles and the Watcher's Council. It had been just one more time he hadn't been with her. One more time she hadn't been able to count on him. He rubbed his eyes, feeling the fatigue that had plagued him since Wesley had brought him up from the blue depths and released him from his metal prison. He stretched out on the bed to rest for a moment the book still in his hand. He opened the front cover. The inscription was still readable, Always 'A". He had meant it when he had written it. He sat up abruptly.

Damn it, he still meant it. But was it enough? He was afraid of many things and they were all tied up in the tiny blonde woman that was here in this building at this moment. But would they have any more moments? He closed the book and stroked the cover. She still had this. He remembered she had read to him from it when she was taking care of him. It had to mean something, didn't it? He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent on the pillow under his head. Still holding the book on his broad chest he drifted off.

Buffy climbed the stairs to Angel's room. Steeled by determination and her trust in both Wesley and Willow she stood outside the bedroom door. It had been remarkably easy getting everyone out of the hotel. Wesley had herded everyone out with Lorne and Faith taking care of the stragglers. Spike had looked into her eyes and his silence spoke a thousand volumes. He might not know exactly what she had planned to do but he had watched her quietly speaking to her before slipping out the door with Faith.

"Are you sure about this? There won't be any turning back, body and soul." She had nodded her head. "I'm sure. This is what I want."

He had looked at Faith who had stood there waiting for them. the dark haired Slayer spoke to her. "You do what you have to. We'll see you tomorrow." Buffy had hugged her tightly. "Tomorrow"

So here she was opening the door slowly. Angel was lying on the bed asleep. She smiled as she moved closer taking note of her book lying on his chest. He was beautiful when he slept. He was beautiful when he was awake. She touched his hair, smoothing down one of his trademark spikes. She sat down in the chair by the bed where she could see him. His large hands lay on his chest holding her book, his Claddagh ring gleaming in the faint light that burned from one small lamp in the corner. She took a deep breath before moving silently to the dresser to remove a few things and headed for the bathroom. She stopped for a moment thinking, she didn't want him to wake just yet so she slipped into the hallway to use the bathroom in Faith's room. Showering quickly and changing her clothes she moved back to the bedroom locking the door behind her. He lay still asleep on the bed and she moved to take the book from his hands and lay it on the bedside table. The silver chain hung outside his shirt and she unfastened the clasp removing her ring. She held it in her hand studying both the ring and the fading cut on her palm before sliding it onto her left ring finger the heart pointed in. It felt warm on her hand and she rubbed it lightly enjoying the feel of its weight. She moved to the window checking outside before pulling back the curtain to let in the moonlight. She stood at the end of the bed watching him sleep Wesley's voice still playing in her head. "This is your decision, Buffy. It has to be your decision."

"Yes, it is my decision." She reached into her hair removing the clip and shaking it free so it fell around her shoulders. Hesitating only a moment she pulled her tank over her head and let her shorts drop at her feet. She climbed onto the bed kneeling beside him taking in his form before stroking his cheek with her palm. He didn't move so she continued, unbuttoning his shirt and exposing his broad chest to her gaze. She raked her nails lightly across his chest stopping to caress his cool flesh under her fingertips. He moaned quietly in his sleep and she knew he was at the point between dream and waking. She was glad he wasn't wearing a belt as she quickly unbuttoned the one button that secured his pants but leaving the zipper attached. She leaned over him letting only the tips of her breasts rub across his cool chest. He moaned again reaching for her and pulling her to him reveling in the feel of her warm flesh against his. He opened his eyes to see Buffy's face scant inches away from his own her green eyes looking into his brown. She kissed him gently tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth before taking his face in her hands. He blinked once and then again realizing his wasn't dreaming and this was in fact an almost nude Buffy in his bed. He buried his face in her hair kissing the shell of her hair before tracing the scar on her neck with his tongue. Her breathing became labored as he suckled at his scar her small hands in his hair tugging gently at him until he pulled back to look at her. She looked down at him her eyes dark with desire before dipping down to capture his mouth with her own. She slipped her tongue inside caressing his before moving down to his neck. There she kissed and sucked until he was sure that tomorrow there would be her own telltale brand. She bit him gently and he felt it burn through him desire flooding his insides. His large hands caressed her back kneading and massaging their way to her small waist. Placing his hands on her slim hips he ground her down on him his growing erection pressing up against her heat. She leaned back letting his large hands caress her breasts and lightly pinch her hard nipples. He sat up pulling her flush into his lap. He took a deep breath and studied her face caressing her cheek with his large hand. She turned kissing his thumb before sucking it into her mouth. He groaned deep in his throat, still holding her on his lap. She looked into his eyes and smiled upon seeing the love and desire for her there. He released her reluctantly. "I think we need to stop. It's been too long and what we're doing, you know it isn't safe."

She tossed her head letting her hair flow down her back and he wanted to tangle his hands in it. She smiled again. "Do you feel safe with me Angel?" She leaned forward kissing him fervently. She leaned back letting his eyes drop to her still bare chest. "Safe as houses, Angel, remember?" She placed her hands on his chest caressing and smoothing his cool skin that was rapidly warming under her touch. "Would you let me give you a massage? I always wanted to but we never got the chance." She moved to push his shirt down his arms. "I promise you will enjoy it." She could see his hesitation and kissed him again gently.

"I just want to feel you Angel. I've missed touching you." She moved her hands to his shoulders letting her fingers drum over his skin. Holding him to her she caressed his shoulders and down his back rubbing the side of his face in her neck. He nuzzled her neck taking in her scent. She was right. It had been so long. She moved out of his lap sliding to one side to rest beside him. He moved with her, his face even with hers, his hand on her waist. "Lay on your stomach so I can reach your back, she instructed and he moved to roll over but she stopped him. "Take off your pants." He stiffened for a moment. "Buffy, I don't think…"

She smiled at him lazily. "Angel, that's the problem. Sometimes you spend too much time thinking, that hasn't changed has it?" She caressed his cheek again. "It will be okay. You can leave your boxers on."

He rose quickly and went to drop his pants realizing they had already been undone. She looked at him innocently as he peeled them away revealing his black boxers. He raised his eyes to her and she held out her hand. "Come on and lay down." He resumed his position on the bed lying on his stomach as she moved down to his legs. He felt her straddle his back moving to take a seat on his bottom. The heat poured from her and he could feel the tightening between his legs he had been trying to quell. She moved her hands across his back caressing every inch her strong hands kneading his flesh. He closed his eyes. He had never had a massage in all his life or unlife and he languished in the feel of her hands on him. She leaned over him to kiss the back of his neck and shoulders, letting the tips of her breasts rub against him. He shifted under her and she smiled as he began to move back against her feeling her heat through his boxers. She stretched out on his back letting him feel every inch of her skin against his. Her breathing was labored and she found herself grinding her mound against him enjoying the intense pressure building between them. She rose above him. "Now move on your back." He complied quickly and she sat herself directly on top of his erection. Nothing separated them but the thin silk of his boxers and the thin material of her bikini panties. He went to put his hands on her waist but she stopped him. "Raise your arms above your head and close your eyes. Just enjoy the feel of my hands on you." He breathed in deeply knowing this was getting dangerously close to being, well very dangerous but at the moment not caring. She said it had been too long since she had felt him. For him memories of their day came flooding back. The sound of her breathing, the smell of her arousal hung heavy in the air. He relaxed completely, letting nothing interfere but concentrating solely on the feel of her hands on his chest, the heat and wetness from her now permeating his silk boxers. He didn't realize when Buffy carefully untied the string of her bikini or when she picked up the small knife that lay hidden at the foot of the bed. She made one shallow cut over her left breast. It wasn't deep but it was enough to bring the dark red fluid to the surface. She dropped the knife quickly, pinching one of his nipples while she ground her now uncovered mound against him. He groaned as he lay there his hands gripping the headboard his eyes tightly shut. In one swift movement Buffy ripped the front of his boxers freeing his erection and sinking onto it. Angel opened his eyes at the same time her blood hit his senses and he felt his demon push forward. He rose up reaching for her, the smell of her blood overpowering as he sank his head to her breast while pushing her down on his erection. From the moment her blood hit his lips he knew he was lost. He flipped them and sank into her his boxers torn from him in shreds by her grasping hands. She lifted her hips to meet him as she felt her peak coming closer. She threw back her head baring her neck and making her scar visible to him. She looked into his golden eyes. "You know you want me. Make me yours, Angelus."

The demon roared at hearing her call his name, biting into the scar and feeling the rich elixir pour down his throat. Immense pleasure washed over her bringing forth a sensation she hadn't felt since the last time Angel had bitten her when he had marked her as his. He continued to thrust into her while she met him stroke for stroke her hips slamming into his. She felt him tense as his seed flooded her before collapsing onto the pillow beside her. He moved away from her neck laying his head on her chest. His vampiric visage faded and his human face came forward.

He rose with a start, "Buffy, oh God Buffy, get dressed, hurry, you have to get Willow."

She wrapped her arms around him pulling him back onto her. "No Angel, we don't have to get Willow. Its okay, we're okay. You aren't going to lose your soul."

He pulled back from her. "Buffy, baby we just had sex. We are not safe." He looked down at the wound on her neck shaking his head. "Angel, we are safe. I know I just seduced you. That was the plan, to seduce you but I just had sex with Angelus and I asked him to mark me just like you did the last time."

He sat up on the bed beside her. "I don't understand. Why would you want him? Why would you want him to mark you?"

Wesley and Willow explained it all to me. The past few weeks Wesley and I have been giving you my blood. In doing so it has allowed Angelus to come closer to the surface. While you were weak he was too and I've been able to speak directly to him. You know this. You also know that in being your mate I have to be his too. I understand it. It's been a while since you marked me but he had a hand in that. When your demon comes out like when I hit you to make you drink me it brings him to the surface. It's only for short periods but it still happens. I never understood before why you were so careful around me after you came back but I do now. He was always there and he always wanted more. He wanted me. I offered him my blood and my body and asked him to mark me. He is as much a part of me as you are now. By giving him my blood we bound him Angel. He isn't gone and he will be able to come to the surface at times but he won't be able to take over. You won't lose your soul."

He held her hands in his own. "Are you sure about this? I still think you should chain me and get Willow. You took a huge risk enticing him and he could have killed you."

"He doesn't want me dead. You know that Angel. He wants me living and breathing and warming him, just like you do. But we aren't through tonight. I need you Angel. I need you to make love with me. Angelus will always be there, in our lives and in our bed but that's okay with me because he is still part of you and I love all of you, the man and the demon."

She pulled him onto her. "Right now I need you, beside me, inside me." She held up her hand where her ring rested and he took it in his their fingers entwining.

"I love you; he said as he looked down at her, "I've always loved you."

"I know that. Sometimes I think I forgot but I've always known that." She moved against him. "Angel, don't you think we have waited long enough?"

He pushed slowly into her as he looked into her eyes. "I love you, I tried not to but I can't stop."

She smiled remembering her same words from that night too long ago. "Me too, I can't either."

He began to move slowly, enjoying the sounds of her sighs, the warmth of her body and the pounding of her heart. She stretched beneath him matching his pace as her eyes never left his own. He moved down to her breast laving the nipple and gently nibbling the tip. She arched under him as her orgasm washed over her pushing his hips to drive him harder into her. She bared her throat again. "Please Angel, drink." He sank his fangs into her neck taking a deep swallow of her blood as he spilled his cool seed inside her. He laved the scar with his tongue closing the wound before rolling them her small form on top. Reaching for the sheet he pulled it over them as she snuggled into his chest. She sat up abruptly leaving the bed and he felt the loss of her presence immediately. He rumbled deep in his chest and she turned to look at him laughing as she closed the curtain and adjusted the shade. "Miss me already?" She snuggled into his side her hand playing with the now bare chain at his neck. He kissed the top of her head.

"You know I did ask you up here to talk to you." She raised her head to look at him.

"What did you want to talk about?" He grinned sheepishly, "I was going to ask you what you wanted. I was going to ask you to stay with me." She sat up beside him. "So ask me."

He looked at her nervously. "Buffy, what do you want?" She laughed as she snuggled into his chest. "I think we've established what I want." He took a deep breath. "Would you stay with me?" She put her forehead to his looking into his brown eyes. "Forever, she whispered, "forever and always."

Faith and Spike came back to the hotel just before dawn rose in the sky. She stood outside Angel's door while Spike stood silently beside her. Pushing open the door she could see Angel lying on the bed in the faint light of the room. Buffy lay snuggled on his chest his arm wrapped her waist. Faith moved silently to the foot of the bed where the covers lay in a heap. She picked up the sheet to pull it over them when she realized Buffy was looking up at her. She put a finger to her lips as she covered them with the sheet. She moved to the side of the bed as she addressed the blonde woman. "You okay B? Everything good?"

"Everything is very good Faith. Thank you, she whispered.

Faith moved to the door grabbing Spike who had been leaning silently against the wall watching them. "We will see you later B, she grinned, "or maybe not."

She closed the door and stood in the hallway eyeing Spike. "I think I'm ready for bed."

"Tired pet?"

She smiled at him impishly. "I never said I was tired. I just said I'm ready for bed." She took his hand. "How about you?"

"Right behind you pet, right behind you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 27

Connor opened his eyes to the sight of two women standing at the foot of his bed talking. This was his first chance to see the Summers women side by side and that is what they were, women. Where Buffy was blonde, small and petite with luminous green eyes Dawn was her opposite. Her long dark hair hung to her waist, her long legs were encased in form-fitting blue jeans and her eyes were a vibrant blue as she focused on her older sister.

"So are you going to tell me or not?"

Buffy moved away from the bed to look out the window. "I'm not."

"But Buffy, Dawn implored, "I am old enough to know about these things. I'm not asking for the dirty details, I just want to know if you and Angel are back together now. I know last night was all about binding his soul and it must have worked because everyone is way too happy today. Well, everyone but you. I'm not judging you or anything. I think it is great and I have noticed the ring back on your finger. I haven't forgotten what it looks like. It is the same ring, isn't it?"

Buffy sighed deeply. "Yes, it is the same ring. He has had it all this time."

Dawn crossed her arms as she eyed her sister. "Well that pretty well sums it up for me, doesn't it you?"

"Dawn, Angel and I are complicated, very complicated."

"Only because you want to be, Dawn sniffed. "It could also be very easy if you let it."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Buffy walked over, looking down at Connor.

"Someone is awake."

She brushed his hair out of his face as she smiled down at him. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Angel stood in the shower letting the hot water pour over him. He couldn't push aside the feeling of dread in his middle. Buffy was not in the hotel. He had known it from the moment he opened his eyes to find he was laying alone in his bed. It was evident she had been there. Her scent drenched his covers and filled the room. She had seduced both him and his demon last night and in the process had bound both of them to her for an eternity, both hers and his. It hadn't taken much effort on her part. He knew they were treading very dangerous ground but last night he just didn't care. From the moment he opened his eyes to find her looking down at him, her warm body against his, he knew he was lost. He rinsed the soap off his form, turning off the water and fumbling for his towel. There had to be a perfectly logical reason why she wasn't there when he opened his eyes this morning. He had wanted to wake up with her in his arms, her leg thrown over his, her head resting just under his chin where he could always smell her hair. He wanted it to be just like in his dreams back when he allowed himself to dream of her while missing her so much. Making love to Buffy and having his curse removed didn't fix everything between them. She had been here with him last night and he wanted her every night in his bed and in his life. He dressed quickly and headed for the door but stopped at the dresser. He paused for a moment, his hand on the drawer knob before pulling it open. Her things were still neatly folded inside and he released the breath he was holding. He knew there were people downstairs but he really didn't want to talk to anyone right now. What he wanted was to wait for Buffy, wait for her to come home.

Buffy took in a sharp breath as she made her way down the hallway to Cordelia's apartment with Dawn and Connor in tow. Their conversation had been simple back at the hospital. She had asked him to go back to the hotel with them. He had agreed but wanted to see Cordelia first. She knocked on the door and found herself face to face with Giles.

"How is she, she asked him tentatively.

"As well as can be expected, we still can't find any reason for her blindness. We have been researching for most of the night and today but nothing." He moved back to allow her entrance stopping a moment when he realized Connor was with her.

"He wants to see Cordelia."

He studied her face for a moment. "Um, I wanted to tell you I'm glad everything worked out well for Angel. I know how important it is to you." She wrapped her arms around him as he whispered in her ear. "I want you to be happy. If being with Angel does that for you then I can't find any fault with it. I do know he has always loved you. I know you never stopped loving him."

Buffy blinked back the tears that were threatening to form in her eyes. To have Giles who she loved as if he truly were her father give her and Angel his blessing was more than she could ever hope for. He smoothed her hair and she whispered back. "That means so much coming from you." He stepped back allowing them to see Willow, Wesley and Xander setting in the living room pouring over dusty books.

"Did you bring the doughnuts, Xander quipped. "Because seeing as how I'm research boy for now no one has seen fit to show up with doughnuts."

"Sorry, no doughnuts, where is Cordelia?"

The blind seer made her way into the living room.

"I'm right here Buffy. As you can see I'm still blind, nothing has changed so if you came to gloat you can do it and go."

Buffy ignored the jibe. "Actually I brought Connor to see you. He has been worried about you."

Connor had remained close to the door watching the others. Seeing Cordelia for the first time with her white useless eyes he felt sick to his stomach. He felt dizzy for a moment and held out his hand to steady himself. Buffy caught his movement and went to him quickly taking his hand and placing him on the couch.

"Maybe you shouldn't be up and around so soon. You have been hurt pretty badly."

"I'm okay." He looked at Cordelia again. "What happened? Why are you blind?"

Giles cut in. "We don't know why. Possibly something traumatic has brought this on. The doctors at the hospital can find no medical reason for her vision to be like it is. We are hoping it is only temporary."

Cordelia made her way to the couch to set beside Connor. "I told you all, I'm blind as my punishment for withholding my visions. I had visions about people being in danger and needing help and I didn't tell anyone. So now I'm being punished for it. I accept it."

Buffy stood in front of the blind seer. She had never cared for Cordelia but she didn't want to be the reason if she was indeed being punished for withholding her visions.

"Maybe the others can find a way to change this. Maybe there is some way to reverse it. You helped Connor and me when he was injured on the dream plane that should count for something."

"I would have to save you a million times to make up for everything I have done." She looked at Buffy through her unseeing eyes. "Shouldn't you be at the hotel with Angel right now? Wesley said you bound his soul. Are you walking away now? You had better not hurt him again. Does he even know where you are?"

Dawn frowned at Cordelia for a moment before turning to her sister. "He was still asleep when we left so no, he doesn't." She glanced at Connor before speaking again.

"Buffy, Connor and I are going to stay here and help with the research. You go to the hotel and we will see you later." She half pushed half walked her to the door. Buffy laughed at her sister's attempts to steer her back to the hotel.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Yes, there is a tall, dark and very sexy man waiting for you. I know if I had one that's where I'd be."

Buffy eyed Dawn for a moment. "Since when have you ever been around tall, dark and sexy men?"

Dawn grinned at her. "My older sister was always sneaking one in her room through her window when I was younger. Mom might have been clueless but I wasn't. I dare you to go back to the hotel wrap your arms around that same man and give him a kiss before either of you say a word. You have a tendency to spend way too much time thinking and not enough time doing."

"Dawn Summers….."

Dawn opened the door and gently pushed her sister through it. "We will see you later Buffy."

"Buffy wait, Cordelia called to her. "I want to talk to you later. I'm not ready now but later, I want to talk."

Buffy studied her for a moment before answering. "Okay, we will do that, later." She closed the door and walked down the hallway.

Faith knocked gently on Angel's bedroom door. She felt surely Buffy was awake by now but you never knew. Angel opened it quickly and looked around the hallway behind her.

"Looking for someone big guy?"

Angel shook his head. "No, I, uh, have you seen Buffy today?"

"No, I thought she was with you. I haven't seen her since early this morning when I checked on you two." She laughed when she could see he was embarrassed. "It's a good thing you don't blush. You would be a beautiful shade of red right now. Don't worry, I didn't see or hear anything. I just covered you up that's all though Buffy was doing a pretty good job of that herself." She looked in his face and frowned. "What's up? Aren't you all super glued or something like that now? She told me everything was great."

He retreated into the bedroom with Faith behind him. He sank down on the edge of the unmade bed. "I just don't know where she is. I woke up and she was gone. Her things are still here but she isn't."

"Did you ask anyone downstairs where she is?"

He shook his head. "No, I haven't been downstairs."

She patted his shoulder. "Get up and go ask Fred, or Lorne. One of them probably knows where she is."

He paused for a moment. "Never mind, she's coming."

She shook her head. "Angel, how do you two do that? I remember back in Sunnydale she always knew when you were around."

"I don't know, I honestly don't know. She is the only one I have ever been to sense that way." He hesitated for a moment. "What if she's changed her mind Faith? She might have had second thoughts this morning. Maybe she's just trying to figure out how to tell me."

She laughed incredulously. "Are you kidding me? You have always been the one for her. I was so jealous of the two of you back in Sunnydale. When you two were together it was like there wasn't anyone else in the room. Hell, there wasn't anyone else in the universe." She took in his somber face. "Have you talked to her about this?"

He nodded his head. "I asked her to stay with me last night. She said yes."

She laughed again. "Then why are we having this conversation?"

He got to his feet. "Are you coming downstairs?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "In a little bit. Spike is in the shower."

He frowned at her. "So you and Spike?"

"I don't know what it means, if it means anything but he is fun and he knows his way around the sheets. That is always something." She smiled at him. "Hey, are you going downstairs looking like that?"

He looked at her alarmed. "Do I look okay? What is wrong?"

He followed her gaze down to his feet where he realized he wasn't wearing any shoes. Faith tossed her head. "You are way too uptight today and I know you got some major loving last night. You need to loosen up. I wonder if B is this tightly wound today."

She laughed at the thought. "You two are going to be so much fun to watch."

Buffy stood on the sidewalk outside the hotel. She kept thinking about what Dawn said. Maybe she did spend too much time thinking about everything and not enough time doing. She had told Angel that very thing last night though she had been sneakily trying to seduce him. His soul was safe now and he wanted them to be together. He had asked her what she wanted which was something he had never done before.

'Shouldn't that be enough?'

She pushed open the door to the lobby and stepped inside. Fred stood at the desk talking to Lorne and Gunn.

"What did you do with the kid, asked Gunn.

"He wanted to stay at Cordelia's with the others. They are still trying to find a way to help her. We will probably see them later." She looked to the stairs. "Have any of you seen him today?"

Fred shook her head. "I know he is awake. He was moving around up there earlier and I heard the shower running."

Buffy looked up the stairs again. Angel stood at the top looking down at her. He was wearing a pair of black sweats, a white t-shirt and she could tell he was nervous, very nervous. He made his way down the stairs and they all realized he was barefoot. Gunn and Fred exchanged looks of surprise. No one at the hotel had ever seen their boss looking quite like this. Lorne crossed his arms as he leaned against the lobby desk watching the pair meet at the bottom of the stairs. It would be interesting to see what the fates had in store for them next he just hoped a little happiness was in their immediate future. Angel stood in front of Buffy looking down at her. He could hear the adrenaline racing through her veins as she looked up at him her face raw with emotion. He knew everyone was watching them but right now he didn't care.

She looked into his eyes before reaching up to take his face in her hands. She kissed him gently her tongue teasing his as she buried her hands in his dark hair. His arms went around her small waist as he brought her closer to him. She felt him shiver as he buried his face in her hair and she leaned away to look into his face. "Were you worrying about me?"

"I woke up and you weren't here."

"I'm sorry if I made you worry." He pulled her back into his arms tucking her head under his chin. "You smell like Giles."

She smiled. "Are you always going to smell me whenever I return home?"

He nodded. "Yes, I'm the jealous type just so you know."

"Is that just one of you or the both of you?"

He looked into her eyes at her mention of the demon. There wasn't any pain or fear in her eyes. All he could see was her love, her acceptance. He answered as his voice cracked with emotion.

"Both of us, but you have to remember I'm the more civilized. He would just want to torture anyone who gets too close to you."

He kissed her lips before making his way to her neck. He sucked on the scar on her neck and she felt the heat that started at her toes and made its way up her spine. She pulled back from his embrace to look into his warm brown eyes.

"Uh, you do realize we have an audience here right?" She looked around at the shocked expressions on Gunn and Fred's faces and the big grin Lorne wore. Angel looked over at them as he once again wrapped his arms around Buffy picking her up so she was face to face with him. "Would you excuse us for a while?" He didn't wait for an answer as he carried her up the stairs. She called over his shoulder. "We will see you later."

"That will be much later, replied Angel.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 28

Angel made his way to the top of the stairs and down the hallway, Buffy still in his arms, before any of the A.I. group in the lobby could say a word. Fred smiled shyly behind the desk and Lorne couldn't wipe the grin off his face. Gunn looked at the two of them and laughed. "That was our boss that was just down here wasn't it? I mean it looked like Angel, a lot, but it sure didn't act like the Angel we all know."

Lorne leaned over to pat Fred's hand. "Love will do that to you, won't it honey? He's happy, she's happy, do you feel better now?"

Fred sniffed while reaching under the desk for a tissue.

"Yes, I do." She looked down at her notes on the desk. "We have a client. This lady thinks she has demons or ghosts in her basement. She hasn't seen anything but they are leaving green goo behind."

Angel didn't let go of Buffy as he opened the bedroom door. She laughed as he carried her inside. "Are you planning on putting me down today?"

"I thought I would just carry you around all the time. Then you couldn't possibly get away."

She straightened her legs to stand in front of him.

"You were really worried weren't you?"

He nodded. "I was afraid you might have changed your mind. Faith laughed at me."

"She laughed at you. What nerve, do you want me to go beat her up for that?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't mean as in she was making fun of me. Now you're laughing at me. She just thought I was being ridiculous." He took her hands in his own. "Do you think I'm being ridiculous?"

She looked up into his eyes.

"No, I don't because I have been thinking pretty much the same thing today. Dawn told me I spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing." She raised herself on her tiptoes to kiss him. "I think Dawn is right but don't you ever tell her I said so."

He sighed as he wrapped his arms around her small form. "I'm still afraid I'm going to wake up at any minute."

"I know the feeling. I used to dream we would be together again I just didn't think it would ever happen. I had already resigned myself to the fact that I don't get the happy ending. There aren't any knights in shiny armor to sweep you away in my line of work."

She trembled in his arms as she spoke and he knew he would do anything to take all her fears away.

"Maybe there aren't any knights in shining armor around but would you settle for one broody, ensouled vampire?"

She stepped away from him setting on the bed while pondering his question.

"Is he cute? Cause if he isn't at least cute then he doesn't have a chance. Oh, and muscles, he has to have lots of muscles." She giggled as he joined her on the bed pulling her over to set in his lap. She swiftly relieved him of his shirt. "Hmmm, you have muscles, you will do."

He laughed stretching out on the bed and bringing her with him.

"I love you, now, always, forever."

She looked into his deep brown eyes. "I've never loved anyone but you, you know that don't you? I told you I would always love you and I do, I have."

He lowered his mouth to hers teasing and caressing her lips. He buried his face in her hair enjoying her unique smell. She raised her eyes to his grinning coyly. "Do I still smell like Giles?"

Angel kissed the top of her head before answering. "No, you smell like Buffy, all Buffy." He hesitated before speaking again. "Where did you go today?"

"Dawn and I went to get Connor at the hospital. He wanted to see Cordelia so he and Dawn are there with the others. He agreed to come back to the hotel when the others do."

"How is Cordelia doing?"

"She still can't see and no one knows why."

"She knows why. She says she's being punished."

She moved to set beside him. "I hope if that's true it hasn't anything to do with me. I don't want to be any cause of anyone's pain. I know maybe I should be upset at what she did or rather didn't do but I survived. It might not have always been pretty but I'm still here and I hope that I am stronger for it. I feel like I am. I may not like Cordy but I don't want her to suffer because of me."

"That's because you have a forgiving heart. Not everyone would be so charitable."

She looked away guiltily. "I haven't always been so charitable. Remember Faith? I tried to kill her when she shot you and after coming to L.A. and finding her with you I really wanted her dead."

He set up beside her stroking her face and until she looked at him. "There is something I never got to tell you about that. When you asked me if I knew what she did all I knew was she had slept with Riley. She had just told me you had a new boyfriend and I was upset. I wanted you to move on and have a new life but when I heard you did I didn't react very well. I didn't know until later she had done it in your body. I wanted to tell you that when I came back to Sunnydale but then I ran into Riley and well you know what happened."

She caressed his cheek. "We were in the hall. There was so much we wanted to say but we didn't get the chance." She smiled. "You told me you didn't like him."

"Didn't like him is rather mild for how I was feeling then. Where is he anyway? I still don't like him."

She pulled him down snuggling into his chest. "He's no where near here and even if he was it wouldn't matter." She snuggled into his broad chest and yawned. He smoothed her hair as he rubbed her back.

"You're tired." He kissed the top of her head and smoothed her hair from her face. "Sleep baby, just sleep."

"I just want to nap for a little while. Don't let me sleep long." She caressed his cheek. "You know Connor will be coming back to the hotel and then the two of you need to talk."

"I still don't know what to say to him. I don't care about what he did to me but he tried to kill you."

"Everything is different now Angel. You didn't see him when he came to me. He is lost Angel and he needs you to help him."

"Is that why you keep Spike around? Does he need you to help him?"

She took a deep breath before answering. "I don't know what you want me to say about Spike. He has a soul like you do now. I don't know exactly how it happened. I think he probably needs your help more than anyone's now. He needs someone who can help him learn to live with his past and what to do with his future."

He remained silent for a moment and she knew he was upset. Telling him about her and Spike wasn't something she ever wanted to do. She was surprised Spike hadn't already made it his mission to give him all the dirty details. She shuddered at the thought of Angel's face if he knew how bad things had finally gotten with Spike. He sensed her uneasiness and began to rub her back his fingers working their way down her spine. She closed her eyes reveling in the feel of his cool fingers against her skin. He moved his hand up to her shoulder rubbing her neck and shoulder blade while she rested against him. A smile crossed his face when her breathing changed and she was asleep. Angel laid there with Buffy on his chest until the sound of her heartbeat lulled him to sleep.

Faith looked up from the kitchen table where she had been talking with Gunn and Fred to find Willow standing in the doorway watching her. The sandwich she had been eating now tasted like sawdust in her mouth and she pushed herself away from the table. Gunn took in the exchange between the two women and felt the need to intervene. He stood up and faced Willow.

"Did you need help with something?" The witch heard the tone of his voice and was taken aback.

"No, I just wanted to talk to Faith for a few minutes." She looked at the dark haired Slayer. "That is if you have a few minutes."

Faith hesitated for a moment. "Sure, I have a few minutes."

"Could we step into the garden then? I wanted to talk with you alone."

Faith looked at Fred. "Thank you for the sandwich."

"You didn't finish it, Fred protested.

"Suddenly I'm not very hungry anymore but thank you."

She went through the doorway and Willow turned to follow her.

"Oh Willow, one thing," Gunn lowered his head to look the redhead in the eyes. "Around here we have learned everyone deserves a second chance, especially those who have already paid their dues."

Willow nodded her head. "I understand what you're saying but some people never pay their dues."

"I think Faith has, he returned.

"I wasn't talking about Faith."

Faith stood in the garden nervously. The sun was sinking low in the sky. It was time for the vampires and demons to be stirring soon. She missed the patrolling, the hunt. Buffy always claimed she didn't but Faith knew her sister Slayer had come to terms with all those feelings now. She wondered what was going to happen now that she and Angel were together. It was time Buffy and Angel found some happiness and anyone who didn't like it could just deal. Willow entered the garden to find her watching the sunset. She walked up next to her but remained silent as they observed the vivid orange and yellow descent.

"Did you see many sunsets while you were in prison Faith?"

"Some, you learn pretty fast not to take them for granted. Can you imagine what it must be like for Angel, for Spike? They can never watch a sunrise or a sunset. Not unless it's their last one."

Willow sat down on the cement bench and looked up at Faith.

"I don't know that you and I will ever be friends. I have never thought I could hate anyone in my life but I did you for what you did to Xander, to Angel, and finally to Buffy. But hate is a very strong emotion and I've learned a few things about it now. I have learned I'm capable of some pretty terrible things and I of all people haven't any right to judge anyone, least of all you. Last year I killed someone." Faith looked at her sharply but she held up a hand as she went on. "I tried to kill my friends, and I tried to destroy the world all because I was angry and I thought I was the only one in pain. I tapped into dark magicks all for my own purpose and it nearly killed me and everyone I love. The others let me come back and they forgave me but I still see Warren's face in my dreams at night. I still hear his screams and I relive what I did to him time and time again. I have to live with that the rest of my life. No one knows what I did outside of my friends and now you. I've never been to jail and I've never been punished for his murder and that's what I did, I murdered him."

Faith sank down on the bench beside Willow trying to take in everything the woman was telling her. "Angel told me once when he came to visit that forgiveness is something that we all want and we all need but we don't all deserve it. I know he still thinks he doesn't. I can't tell you what it meant when Buffy showed up at the prison to pick me up. To have her behind me, it feels like maybe she trusts me again, that she wants to be my friend. It means everything."

I know what you mean, I didn't think they could ever forgive me but they did. As for Angel I understand that too; I can't ever take back what I did. I regret it all but I can't undo it."

Faith glanced at Willow before continuing. "So we do what Angel does. We learn to live with it. We try to make up for it and we hope we have others around us to help us through it."

Spike was surprised to see the two women step into the lobby together. He raised an eyebrow as a smirk crossed his face. "Do I have something to worry about pet? Red, are you trying to snag my woman?"

Willow smiled at him. "We're starting over Spike. If Faith will give me a chance I would like to get to know her."

He smirked again. "Well that's all well and good but Gunn is about to go out again. Would either of you ladies be up to a patrol?"

Cordelia stood in front of the window facing the same sunset. She couldn't see anything but she could feel the warmth radiating from it. Connor came to stand beside her. "Can you see anything, anything at all?"

"No, she shook her head. "There isn't anything there. I know the sun is shining. I can feel the heat."

He watched as the orange ball made its final descent in the sky. "That was the sun setting. It's gone now."

She reached out for the window sill banging her hand against the glass. Her eyes were shut tightly to stop the flow of tears that threatened to escape down her face.

"It just occurred to me. I'll never see another sunset, or a sunrise. There are so many things I'll never see again."

She sank to the floor as Connor tried to catch her and Xander raced to her side. The two men brought her to the couch setting her on the cushions. She continued to sob as Giles and Connor looked on helplessly.

"Cordelia, Giles began, "We might still find something. We haven't given up hoping. Wesley and Willow are going to continue researching. Surely we will find something to explain this." He looked to Wesley for assurance but found the younger man studying the blind seer his face showing no emotion.

"Maybe she is right, said Dawn from her seat in the corner of the room. She too had been unmoved by Cordelia's plight.

"She believes she is being punished. Maybe this is it. She may be blind for the rest of her life."

"Dawn, Xander glared at her, "You shouldn't say things like that. This is a terrible thing to happen to Cordelia. She needs our help right now."

Dawn stood up and faced him. "She needs our help, does she? I want to know something Cordelia; did you know my sister was going to die again? Did you know and just not tell Angel? How many times did you know something and not tell him? Did you know what Spike did to her? Did you know Warren was going to shoot her? Did you know Willow was going to try to end the world?" Dawn started to cry. "Did you know Tara was going to die and just not care? No one else will ask but I want to know. I really want to know." Giles went to the distraught girl holding her as she sobbed. Connor stood motionless watching Dawn cry into Giles shirt while Cordelia remained silent on the couch. Wesley rose from his seat. "I think maybe Dawn would prefer to go to the hotel now." He looked at Giles who nodded in agreement. "I think we could all use some rest." Xander looked at Cordelia who remained motionless in her seat. "I'll stay here with her. We'll see you later." Connor stepped closer to Dawn. "I would like to come too, if that is okay."

Giles patted Dawn's back as he looked at the boy. "That will be fine."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 29

Rating: NC-17

Cordelia sat silently after the door shut behind the others in the apartment. Dawn's words stung because they were all too true. She had refused assistance to the group from Sunnydale and now all her scheming and manipulations had led to her present dilemma. She shut her eyes tightly and then opened them again straining to see anything beyond the gray shadows. She sighed heavily as she scrubbed her face with her hands. A slight movement startled her and she realized maybe she wasn't alone. "Xander, you are still here aren't you?" No one answered her and she sat there in the silence. `I guess he decided to go too.'

Xander sat in the chair facing her watching the play of emotions on her face. Dawn had glared at him angrily as she left and he knew she thought he was standing with Cordelia. It wasn't the truth. He knew deep down he still had some unresolved feelings for the brunette and part of him wondered what could lead her to let harm come to his friends and not try to help them. He knew she had never really liked Buffy but was that the whole truth? He could see the tears start to roll down her face as she thought she had been abandoned. He moved suddenly startling her as he took a seat beside her. "I'm still here."

She let loose a sob and wrapped her arms around him while he held her tightly. Yes, he had his own questions but he was also scared of what he might learn. "Oh Cordelia, he whispered, what have you done?"

Lorne looked up from behind the desk as Wesley entered the lobby followed by Giles and the two teenagers. He stiffened upon seeing Connor. He remembered the boy didn't like him very much. Fred came out of the kitchen to see them stopping when she saw Connor. Wesley sensed the others uneasiness. "I thought it best the boy came back to the hotel."

"I think that's a good idea. We need to keep an eye on him so he doesn't lock anyone else in a box or shoot arrows through them." Fred glared at the boy. "Have you come back here to hurt someone else? I wouldn't try it if I were you. There are more of us now."

The boy looked down at his feet shifting nervously. Dawn held his arm reassuringly as she spoke in his defense. "Buffy asked him to come. She wants him here too."

Fred relaxed a little. "Well, she shared a look with Wesley, "if you and Buffy think its okay." Lorne shifted still uneasy. Crossing his arms he leaned against the lobby desk while sending a hard look at Connor. "We will be watching you."

Dawn searched the room quickly trying to change the subject. "Where is everyone?" Lorne broke into a big smile. "Well little one, Gunn is out on a case with Faith, Willow and Spike while our two lovebirds are firmly ensconced in their room. The big guy has ordered no interruptions."

Giles cleared his throat. "Well I don't suppose we will bother them then."

"I should hope not, grinned Dawn, there's no telling what they are doing now that they can." The others gave her a look and she shrugged sheepishly. "Okay, too much information."

Angel lay on his side watching Buffy sleep. She was so beautiful and she was right here. He still couldn't believe everything this woman had gone through just to be with him. All because she loved him, a year ago he wouldn't have believed it. She frowned in her sleep and he hoped she wasn't having a bad dream. He wanted to protect her from everything and anyone who might ever want to hurt her again but he knew that was impossible. She was still a Slayer, albeit she wasn't the only one active anymore. He was glad to see her and Faith had resolved their differences. Having two Slayers to go up against would likely have a huge effect on the demon population. She was smiling now, her lips curved in a relaxed contented smile. He hoped she was dreaming about him. He closed his eyes for a moment when he opened again she was looking at him.

"How long have you been watching me sleep this time? Did you rest any yourself?"

"You forget I don't need that much sleep. Besides I'd rather watch you. I guess old habits do die hard."

"I don't know I rather like this habit of yours. It makes me feel safe and loved and warm."

He grinned in his sexy half-smile way. "It seems strange for someone to tell me I warm them. I'm kind of room temperature."

Buffy leaned over closer; a lock of her hair falling over one eye she kissed the tip of his nose playfully. "I don't know about that. You've always done quite well at warming me up." She caressed his face and neck before running her hands through his hair. Her hands moved down his back lingering just a moment on his tattoo before moving on. "Are you ever going to tell me the story about your tattoo, she asked.

He rolled them over setting up he reached for her foot pulling up her jogging pants to reveal the bleeding heart on her ankle. "Are you going to tell me why you got this?"

She sat up pulling down her pants leg. "Not now, maybe later." He frowned momentarily. "Okay, we will let it go for now, but later…."

"Angel, do you think you could just kiss me?" He looked into her eyes taking note of their color. Buffy's eyes changed color in tune with her emotions. Today they were a beautiful vivid green surrounded by a ring of gray. She was happy, she was content. How long had it been since she had looked this way? She caressed his face and neck. "What are you thinking about? You were far away for a moment."

"Just thinking how lucky I am to have you." He kissed her forehead. "I don't deserve this."

She laughed gently stroking his face. "Okay, but I do. I deserve a lot more too."

"Oh you do, do you, he teased.

She nodded her head. "Uh huh, unless you don't want to and then I will have to go find that other vampire, you know the one with the muscles."

"You want muscles; I can show you muscles, he growled. He captured her lips teasing before tracing her bottom lip with his tongue. She quickly trailed her hands down the front of him stopping to rest at the waist line of his pants. He pulled her shirt over her head blazing a line of kisses leading from her neck to her navel.

"Angel, she moaned, come back up here." He reached behind her undoing the clasp on her bra leaning back to examine her breasts as they sprang free. Their rosy pink nipples hardened in the cool room. "Are you cold?", he asked her.

Her only answer was a sigh as he closed his mouth over one nipple while his large hand caressed the other. She could feel the heat beginning at the end of her toes before traveling up her body. Only he could make her feel like this, like she was on fire. He moved down her body stopping to kiss her navel before untying the drawstring on her pants. She helped him as she peeled out of them.

"Mister, you have too many clothes on." She unsnapped his pants before pulling them down his hips. He kicked them off his ankles as the pile in the floor grew larger. He moved beside her hooking a finger onto her bikini panties taking them down her legs. The heat radiated from the top of her thighs and he rubbed his large palm feeling the wetness there. She arched against his hand wanting him to press harder. He parted her outer lips reveling in the scent of her arousal. Her grasping hands pulled at his boxers sliding them down. He lifted his hips to make their descent easier. Reaching for him she brought his face to hers. He looked into her eyes that had changed to a smoky green. "Make me warm, Angel."

He moved between her legs as she raised her hips to meet him. Her only sound was a long low sigh as he slid into her. They lay there for several moments reveling in the feel of skin to skin. She began to move beneath him her hips cradling his and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He began to move slowly in and out of her trying to prolong their act of love. She whimpered beneath him taking hold of his hips she began to pull him more forcefully into her his pace quickening as he matched her thrusts. Her moans of pleasure intensified while she leaned up to kiss his neck, his chest, anywhere she could reach during their union. He could feel her inner walls tightening as her body grew hotter beneath him. She tensed for just a moment before exploding latching onto his neck biting him hard enough to insure it left a mark. He came with a shout emptying into her while taking care not to put all his weight on her. Moving her hair from her face he kissed her on the lips and then the forehead before pulling out to lie beside her. They lay there in the silence she reached out her hand and he laced her fingers with his own pulling it into his chest to rest against his unbeating heart. The sound of voices in the hallway made her sigh heavily.

"I guess this means we have to get up, right?"

"Not unless you want to. I told them we would be seeing them much later, remember?"

She stretched her movement's fluid in their motion. "Has it been much later?"

He pulled her on top of him his growing hardness against her thigh. "I think it hasn't been nearly long enough."

Gunn and Willow burst through the front doors of the hotel laughing hysterically while Faith followed a few steps behind them trying to keep a straight face. "Damn, shouted Gunn, "that was great. Did you see the look on his face?"

Willow collapsed onto a couch holding her sides. "Whose face are we talking about here, the demons or Spike's?"

"Hell, both." They collapsed again in peals of laughter. Faith leaned against the lobby desk grinning.

Fred shook her head at Giles and Wesley obviously having missed out on the joke. "The client, you know the lady with the ghost or whatever in her basement."

"You mean the green goo lady. Well she had a demon and there was green goo." Gunn wiped his face before setting up. He nudged Willow. "You tell it."

The redhead sat up giving Faith a wink before starting. "Okay, we went to the lady's basement to check out the goo and we found a Grangkor demon. It seems it had been staying there a while because obviously nobody ever went down there.."

Wesley nodded his head. "Grangkor demon, they like damp, moldy places.

"Oh there was damp, said Willow.

Gunn added, "There was definitely mold too. Lots of mold, the place reeked."

Giles looked over at Faith who just watched Willow and Gunn the broad smile still on her face. "So what happened, you know a Grangkor is not to be trifled with. If they get incensed they cover you in that green substance. If it gets in your mouth and nose you could suffocate."

Willow grinned at Faith. "Yeah, we know. And so does Spike."

Wesley frowned, "Spike, he looked around, "where is Spike?"

She laughed again. "He's coming. He's mad at us. But it was just so cute. You should have seen it." "Um, Willow, an exasperated Giles began, just tell us what happened."

"Okay, Okay, this demon decides to come out of hiding while we are down in the basement. We rush it but it slips out of sight before turning on Faith. She smacked it but it swelled up, you know like they do before they get goo on you. Well, Spike pushes Faith out of the way and jumps on this demon. It spits, she turned to Faith, "would you say it spits?"

Faith nodded, "Looked like it was spitting to me."

Giles glared at Willow who giggled before resuming. "Anyway, it slimes Spike good. It covers him completely head to toe. Well it didn't take long before the demon realized the reason he wasn't suffocating because well he doesn't breathe so it moves closer to him and sniffs him." She collapsed against Gunn laughing. "It wrinkles its face; I didn't really see a nose and says oooooohhh and then uuuuhhhh. It obviously figured out Spike was a vampire and thought he was yucky. Well this made Spike mad. He grabs it and lifts it in the air while he's shouting. "I stink, you think I stink, you smell like gym socks and pond scum." He throws it down and it escapes. It was there and then it wasn't. Spike is standing there coated with green slime and we are dying laughing, Faith is just grinning and he looks at us and says Bloody Hell and then goes out the door. He says he's going after it and will catch us later. We told the lady her demon was gone and she says to send her the bill."

"Yeah, adds Gunn, it was great. You should have all been there. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard."

Giles shook his head. "But no one is hurt, right?" "Just Spike's pride but you should have seen him rushing in to save Faith." Willow beamed at her. "I think he likes you."

Dawn and Connor had come down the stairs quietly taking a seat while Willow told her tale. She looked at Dawn who was sitting quietly her face a tell-tale pink. "What's wrong Dawnie?"

"Nothing, said Dawn quickly her face turning crimson while Connor intently studied his hands.

"I thought you two were going upstairs, inquired Wesley, is everything okay up there?"

Dawn stole a glance at Connor who continued to study his hands. "It's just that well Angel and Buffy are up there and well they are being……"

"Are they going at it a little loud, asked Faith?

Dawn blushed again. "Well we didn't hear Buffy but we definitely heard Angel."

The others looked at each other before they all started laughing again. An extremely agitated vampire covered in green slime picked this moment to step into the hotel. They all took one look at him before dissolving in more laughter. Spike glared at all of them. "Anyone want some of what the demon got?"

He looked at Faith who just grinned at him. She moved forward taking his hand. "Let's get that off of you. What would you say to a hot shower?" She led him up the steps and started down the hall. Spike paused at the top of the stairs to look back at them flashing a big smile. "See you later."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 30

Buffy moved silently down the stairs toward the kitchen. Looking out the glass doors toward the garden she could see the night sky. She had gotten out of bed leaving Angel asleep on the pillow beside her. She smiled when she thought of her lover upstairs. Dawn sat in the kitchen with Connor each holding a cup of cocoa. "What are you two doing up, asked Buffy.

"I'm introducing Connor to cocoa. He has never had it before. He likes the marshmallows though."

Buffy laughed as she took a seat. "I always said you were a strange kid. What kid doesn't like marshmallows?"

"Me, replied Dawn defiantly. Connor put down his cup. "Dawn told me all your memories of her aren't real. How does that work? Do you just have thoughts were she was always with you?"

"Pretty much, answered Buffy. "I don't know how it all works exactly. I just know that all my friends have memories of her just like I do. It's like to us she has always been here. Even your father has memories of Dawn from when he lived in Sunnydale and we know that isn't possible."

Dawn turned to him. "It bothered me when I first learned I was supposed to be this Key thing. But now it's okay. I'm just human like you now."

Connor shook his head. "I still don't know what I am. How can I be human when my both my parents were vampires? I wish I knew something, anything about why I'm here. I feel like a freak."

Buffy patted his hand. "Being a freak is something I know about. Cordelia told me once I was a freak and I've always believed it. I may look human but with the Slayer powers and the fighting I have to do I can never be like normal people. Most would not understand what I am or what I do. It's something I have learned to accept."

Angel stood outside the kitchen listening to the conversation inside. He had never taken into account how Buffy's calling would isolate her from others. He stepped into the doorway as the occupants at the table raised their heads in his direction. Buffy rose from her chair to greet him raising her head for a kiss he gladly gave. He hugged her to him saying a silent thank you again to whomever had made the decision to bring her back to him. Taking the seat she vacated he looked at the two teenagers taking in Dawn's smile and Connor's nervous face. Dawn leaned over to him giving him a hug.

"I missed you." She stole a glance at her sister who was busy at the refrigerator.

"It was never the same after you left. She was never the same."

Buffy reached into the microwave retrieving Angel's mug. She sat the contents down in front of him. He looked up at her before resting his gaze on Dawn. The girl shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't worry about me Angel. It's not a big deal." She raised her mug of cocoa draining the contents. "I think I'm going back to bed." She rose from her chair and left the room. Connor sat silently in his chair his hands tracing the pattern on the tablecloth. Buffy stood behind Angel her hands on his broad shoulders. "I think I'm going to go back to bed too."

Connor looked up at her. "Would you stay please? I need to talk to both of you."

She took a seat across from him and he watched as his father took her hand in his. He took a deep breath and looked up at Angel who had been trying not to stare at him.

"I want you to know how sorry I am for what I did to you. Justine told me you had killed my fath- uh, Holtz and I was angry. I wanted you to die for that and because I thought all demons should die. I was upset when I learned you were my father. It made me wonder what I am. I still do."

Angel said nothing for a moment. "Was Holtz a good father to you? "Did he ever tell you he loved you?

"He taught me how to hunt and kill demons, how to stake vampires. He taught me how to kill. He taught me how to hate you and your kind. No, he never told me he loved me. Fred told me you did. She said you were a good father."

"I tried to be. I really don't know if I could have been a good father to you. My father didn't approve of me and I hated him with a passion. He was everything I never wanted to be. I was determined to defy him at every turn and I did. I was a disgrace of a son and everyone knew it. I didn't care about anything as long as I could drink and whore around with my friends. I met your mother in an alleyway and she told me she would show me the world. You know how the rest of it goes. I know Holtz made sure you knew everything about me."

Connor shook his head. "He didn't tell me everything." He looked at Buffy. "I don't think he knew about you. He told me Angelus had never loved or cared about anything in his life but that isn't true. I broke into Wesley's apartment and took his journals. I read about you and your relationship with the vampire Angelus, I hated you for not doing your duty. You were supposed to slay vampires and you didn't him. I blamed you for my being here. I thought if you had just staked him then I wouldn't exist. I was aiming for him when I shot the arrow but I hit you. I couldn't believe it when you stepped in front of him. Then I realized I might have killed you. I wasn't taught to kill humans." He turned to Angel. "Then you had me make that promise. You told me about falling in love with her. I realized you still loved her very much and that you didn't want to go on without her. Then you tried to reach her and she didn't want to wake up. I took her so I could try to talk to her and tell her how sorry I was. I needed her to come back for you and for me. I'm just now learning you have people who care about you, who believe in you. I want that too. I would like to work with you and show you I can be someone you could trust. I won't try to hurt you again."

Angel looked at Buffy before answering. "I can forgive your trying to hurt me but I have to know you won't try to hurt Buffy. I won't tolerate it. I have to know I can trust you or you will have to leave."

Connor looked across the table at Buffy who was smiling at him. "You have my word. No one will ever hurt Buffy again." He rose from the table. "I think I'm going to go back to my room now."

"Goodnight Connor", said Buffy. The teenager paused in the doorway. "Goodnight Buffy." He left the room and she turned back to see Angel frowning. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "My son has a crush on you."

She laughed. "He does not."

"Oh yes he does. I recognize the face."

"What do you mean the face?"

"It looks just like mine, he teased. He rose from the chair pulling her up with him. "Let's go back to bed."

"Are we sleeping?"

He lifted her up placing a kiss on her lips. "Who needs sleep?"

Willow sat at the kitchen table with Fred nursing her first cup of coffee. She had woke up to find everyone still asleep except the little brunette. "What are all of you going to do now, asked Fred. "Do you think Buffy will stay here with Angel?"

"I honestly don't know. We have to go home some time soon. Dawn and I both have to go back to school."

"Maybe they will have to just see each other when they can. I mean Angel has the business here and she is there. I know if it was me I would hate it. None of us have ever seen Angel so happy."

"I know what you mean. It's the same with Buffy."

Wesley came into the kitchen. "Why do you two ladies look so somber this morning?"

Fred gave him a smile. "We were just talking about Buffy and Angel and what they are going to do now." She rose to get him a cup of tea but he put his hand on her shoulder. "Fred, I don't want you to wait on me. I can get it."

He put the teakettle on and turned back to them. "The important thing is to let Buffy and Angel make their own decisions without us reminding them of their place or their duty." He gave Willow a pointed look. "It's time they got to think of what they want for a change."

She raised her cup while Fred refilled it. "Your point is taken but Buffy has Dawn also. She does have a minor child to think of."

"I'm sure she is well aware of what her responsibilities are. I just believe she and Angel both are entitled to have their own life." He looked up to see Gunn entering the kitchen. "I intend to stand behind whatever they decide to do. But I do agree they will have to make a decision soon."

Gunn took a seat at the table. "I have an idea. Let's just keep everyone here. It's been a blast having two Slayers around and even with two vampires on board it's been definitely interesting. I wonder if Faith got all the slime off Spike."

Cordelia sat at her table while Xander moved around her kitchen making coffee. "When are you going to have to go back to Sunnydale?" He took a seat across from her. "It's going to have to be soon. I have a new construction project starting and I need to get back in a couple of days."

She thought for a minute. "I never told you thank you for the prom dress. That and for not telling everyone my father lost all his money."

"You did thank me for the dress, you wore it and you were beautiful in it. As for the other I didn't want to hurt you Cordy. I had already done that once." He stirred his cup of coffee. "Are you still planning to talk to Buffy?"

She nodded her head. "Would you call her for me? Ask her if she can come over this morning. I would like to take a shower before she gets here." She rose to her feet to make her way to the bathroom. He watched as she counted her steps leading her to the bathroom. It was terrible to watch her have to go through this but he also knew there had to be a reason behind it. Sighing heavily he reached for the phone.

Dawn met Buffy at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you really going to go talk to her? You know she could have helped you, she could have helped all of us and she just didn't. She doesn't deserve her sight back. I always thought she was evil. Wesley says she is half demon now. I think he's wrong. She was always an evil demon."

"Dawn, I'm just going to go talk to her, that's all. I just want this over with so we can move on. We have to go home soon, you know that."

"But what about Angel, what are the two of you going to do?"

"I don't know yet Dawn we haven't talked about it but we will. We don't have a choice. I have a job to do and he does too." She gave her a hug. "I will be back soon."

Dawn watched as her sister left the hotel. She went out to the garden where Connor was setting on the bench alone. She pulled at his arm. "Come on, I want to talk to Lorne."

"Why do you need me to go with you? We don't exactly like exactly like each other much."

"Buffy has gone to see Cordelia. She just told me we will have to go home soon because she has a job to do. That means we go back to Sunnydale and Angel stays here. Do you want that?"

"No, she can't leave."

"Then we go see Lorne."

Xander opened the door to find Buffy on the other side. He looked back into the living room where Cordelia sat on the couch. "I'm going now. Buffy is here."

She smiled at him. "Go on, I'm fine. Buffy will stay with me until you get back."

The blonde Slayer made her way into the living room and took a seat across from the now blind seer. "You wanted to see, I mean talk to me?"

Cordelia laughed. "It's okay Buffy. You can make your comments. I am blind and I accept it. Now would be the time you can say everything you have ever wanted to. I can't defend myself."

"Sorry Cordy, picking on the handicapped isn't my thing. I thought you wanted to talk to me."

"I did. I wanted to ask how Angel and the others are doing without me. They rely on me you know. We are a family just like the one you have in Sunnydale. When are you going back to Sunnydale anyway? I know you can't leave the Hellmouth unguarded for long."

Buffy sighed heavily. "Cordy, if you wanted to know about Angel and the others you could have called them or had Xander bring you to the hotel. As for when I am going back to Sunnydale I don't know that yet. You said you wanted to talk to me. I'm here."

The seer was quiet for a moment. "It's not you Buffy. It's your sister Dawn. She thinks I knew all these bad things that were going to happen to you and the others and I just didn't tell anyone. You know that isn't true don't you? I did know a few things but I was just trying to protect Angel. Seeing you always hurts him so much and you couldn't be together so I was doing you a favor too. Why would you want to be reminded of who you can't have when you're trying to go on with your life?"

"Cordy I already told Angel I hoped your blindness had nothing to do with me. I'm not interested in seeing anyone punished for anything. I hope you get your sight back."

"Do you mean that Buffy? Do you really mean it? Just tell me you forgive me Buffy, please?"

"Okay I forgive you. No matter what you did or did not do I forgive you."

The blind woman rose to her feet. "Did you hear her? She said she forgives me." She closed her eyes tightly and then opened them. "I said did you hear her, she forgives me." Nothing happened and she sank once more onto the sofa. "I thought if you came here and said you forgive me then they would give me my sight back."

Buffy leaned forward in her chair. "I gathered that. Maybe they don't think you're really sorry for whatever it is you did. Maybe that's why you're still blind."

"Maybe they don't think you were very sincere in your forgiveness and that's why I'm still blind, the other woman snapped.

Buffy stood up. "How am I supposed to forgive you when I don't know what I'm forgiving you for? You ask me to come here and then it's all bitch Cordelia again. What did I ever do to you?"

"You came to Sunnydale."

"Oh really, and if I had never come to Sunnydale you would have been dead. Remember the harvest Cordy? That was me saving your ass remember?"

"I'm sorry. Yes you did save me, more than once you saved me. I never said thank you. I'm saying thank you now. I just want to know where my place is. Now that you're here where do I fit in?"

I don't understand what you are talking about. What do you mean by your place?"

"Well you're all Miss Super Slayer but they need me too. I'm their link to the Powers remember? You have always had everything. You had friends, you had the gorgeous boyfriend. What did I have?"

"Are you crazy? You were the most popular girl in school. You had tons of friends. I was the girl who burned down the gym at her last school. I was the juvenile delinquent, the freak, remember?"

Cordelia flinched. "Okay, I was the one who called you a freak. But your first day of school you had already made friends. Willow and Xander are still your friends. My so-called friends were all just snobs. They all wanted to be me but no one knew what it was like to be me. I had to be the best; I had to have the best. That's what it was all about. After Xander dumped me no one wanted anything to do with me."

"We always did. Even though you weren't always very nice you were still part of us. I can remember times when you were there for me. I haven't forgotten that. I already told you how I felt when I learned you were here with Angel. You are one of his best friends. You know things about him I don't because you have been here with him. He has told you things he has never told me. That makes you important to him."

"I know he keeps a picture of you in his room. It used to be in whatever book he was reading at the time. I know he would call your number just to hear your voice and then he would hang up. I saw the phone bill. I used to give him a hard time when he was brooding. He would get this face on him. I called it his Buffy face. He has always loved you. Even when Fred and Lorne were trying to push the two of us together deep down he still loved you. I don't love Angel. He is like the brother I've never had. I just want to know that I still have a place. They are all I have. Please talk to Angel for me. Tell him I'm sorry and I want to be part of the team again. If it means you are there too then that's okay with me."

Xander came in the door carrying a bag of groceries. He looked at the two women in the living room. "Is everything okay here?" "Everything is great, answered Cordelia quickly. "Buffy was just saying she needed to go. Weren't you Buffy?"

"Yeah, I'll go. I don't think there is anything else to say here." She moved to the door. "Xander I will talk to you later." He reached for his bag. "I think I'm going to grab a shower." "Go ahead, I'm fine." She waited for him to enter the bathroom and listened for the water. She moved quickly to the table reaching for the phone. She needed to talk to Angel herself. She didn't trust Buffy to do it for her.

Part 31

Angel was about to take a shower as the phone rang beside the bed. He picked it up hearing Cordelia on the other end before he ever said hello.

"Angel, Buffy just left and we had a really good talk. She isn't upset with me or anything. She wants me to get better so maybe the Powers will give me another chance. You still need me, don't you? Aren't I still vision girl? But I have this problem and I thought maybe you could help me along with Buffy anyway. I mean you know I would never want anything really bad to happen to her. I mean she is a Slayer and all; she can take care of herself. Dawn is mad at me though, she thinks I knew about all these things that happened to them but really I didn't. I don't get visions about everything Angel, you know that. I didn't know Buffy was going to get shot or that Willow's girlfriend was going to die. I didn't know Willow was going to go all evil on them and try to destroy the world. …………Angel, Angel, are you there?"

Cordelia listened hard on the other end of the line. "Angel, are you still there?"

Angel stood motionless the phone receiver still in his hand. He had heard all Cordelia's ramblings and he knew he just knew she was lying. She knew all these terrible things were going to happen to Buffy and her friends and she had never bothered to let him know. He closed his eyes. Cordelia had been one of his best friends; at least he had always thought so. "I'm here Cordy."

Her ramblings continued, "I didn't know that Buffy was pulled out of Heaven and all, at least not at first and after you went to see her you were so miserable and I would never have thought she would let Spike do all those things to her. I mean yuck! I can't believe she would actually screw Spike. And I know he tried to rape her but she is strong, she fought him off."

Her last words went through him like fire. He thought he had stumbled outside and was even now combusting into flames. He spoke quietly into the phone. "What did you say?"

The woman on the other end got quiet for a moment. "Uh, nothing."

"Cordelia did you or did you not say Spike tried to rape Buffy?"

"Um, yes, I did say that."

He rose to his feet trying to control the black fury rising up inside of him. He spoke calmly. "You knew this and you never told me."

She hesitated for only a moment. "Yes"

With this admission all his sense of reasoning evaporated. He clutched the phone tightly.

"Don't ever let me lay eyes on you again."

Dropping the phone in its cradle he paced the bedroom floor trying to get those words out of his head. `Spike and Buffy, Buffy and Spike, Spike tried to rape Buffy.' His false seer's voice was ringing in his ears and he knew if she were in front of him right now he could not be responsible for his actions. At the other end of the line Cordelia hung up the receiver. She jumped when she realized Xander was standing behind her. He had forgotten his shampoo and come to get it overhearing her entire conversation. She turned to him quickly. "Xander, it isn't what you think. I didn't mean to tell him. It just slipped out."

"Did it? How did Angel take your news?"

"He never wants to see me again."

He picked up the bottle and turned away. He spoke over his shoulder. "Was it worth it Cordy? All the manipulating and lying to your friends, was it really worth it? You need to ask yourself that." She set down in the chair and began to cry. Her last hope was gone. Now she was all alone.

Angel stepped into the hallway where he heard Spike's voice sounding from the stairs. He moved quickly to see him coming up the stairs carrying a mug of blood. The two vampires faced each other one amused, one angry.

"Well, did you decide to come up for air? Haven't even seen you come down to eat." He held up what Angel recognized as Fred's favorite mug. "Your not still snacking off our Slayer are you?"

The older vampires face went even paler and his eyes flashed golden as he grabbed the younger man by the arm. "She is not yours, he roared. "She will never be yours. I did not leave her so you could touch her with your filthy hands. You tried to destroy her soul. She is mine, she has always been mine."

Angel punched Spike in the face causing him to fall down the stairs the mug spilling and crashing beside him. He jumped over the stairwell and landed on the bottom almost before his blonde grandchilde could fall to meet him. Spike looked up groggily as Angel's fist came down to meet him and he realized in that instance that the dark haired man knew. Every horrible sordid thing he had inflicted on the blonde Slayer Angel knew. If there was anything Spike did feel remorse for then his treatment of Buffy was it. He had done everything in his power to make her turn to him. He had belittled her; he had played on all her insecurities and then he had hit her. Telling her she came back wrong was the catalyst. He had forced her to reach out for the only thing she could understand at the time, the darkness. When she had finally turned away from him he had felt anger like no other and he wanted to punish her, he sought to make her admit she needed him, that she loved him and only him. He had heard her cry for Angel in her sleep on more than one occasion through the years and after her friends brought her back it was again Angel she cried for when the nightmares plagued her. This had infuriated him and he was determined she would never cry for the dark vampire again. After his little tryst with Anya he had told Buffy's friends about the two of them because he knew they would be angry with her and then she would have no one to turn to but him again. It hadn't worked and forcing his way into her bathroom had been the last straw. He was determined to make her love him anyway he could. He looked up into Angel's face and he knew this was his penance, his punishment for touching his mate, for treading where no vampire dared. No, he had never drank from her but he had done everything but. The larger man's fist met with the bones of Spike's face crushing them. Blood poured from his nose but the dark vampire was relentless. Angel felt his own surge of pain as his knuckles split open on Spike's face. The blonde vampire's scream when Angel picked up his hand taking hold of his fingers to break them all caused everyone in the hotel to come running. Dawn and Connor came from the hallway while Wesley and Giles ran from the office. The four of them could only watch horrified at the beating Angel was bestowing on Spike.

Gunn and Fred came running from the kitchen sure that a demon had intruded but stopped short at the sight before them. Dawn looked down at her feet at the broken mug. She reached for it just as Connor pulled her out of the way cutting her hand in the process. Willow ran from behind Wesley putting up a hand to use her magick but he stopped her shaking his head. Angel kicked Spike in the chest and the sound as his bones broke rang through the air. He lifted him up tossing him on a couch breaking it in two pieces and grabbing a wooden leg impaling him through the shoulder taking care not to hit his heart. He pulled it out and ran it through his side causing the blonde vampire to scream in agony. Spike didn't try to fight back as his grandsire effectively punished him for every time he had dared to touch Buffy.

"Did you drink from her, Angel roared. "Did you?"

Spike tried to answer but his jaw was broken while blood continued to pour from his mouth where he had bit his tongue. He looked into his grandsire's eyes.

"No, I ne-ver, he choked out hoarsely before collapsing. Faith had just stepped from the shower and was pulling on her clothes when she heard the screaming. She ran for the stairs leaping down them when she saw the dark haired man splattered with blood and the mess that was Spike huddled on the ground before him. She tried to intervene but Angel pushed her away causing her to fall at Connor's feet. The boy helped her to her feet trying to hold her back as Angel reached again for the smaller man, ignoring Spike's screams of agony as his many broken bones moved against each other. His leg was twisted at an odd angle while a large cut had opened over his eye. His eyes were both swelling shut and he tried to speak again but could only choke on his own blood. Angel picked him up tossing him just short of the front doors. Faith looked out the glass doors at the mid day sun. "No Angel, not the sun."

Gunn stepped forward not sure of what to do but Angel turned to him his eyes flashing.

"This is family business Gunn. Back away." He grabbed Spike's arm and began to drag him toward the door.

Willow looked at Wesley who turned to her nodding his assent. She raised her hand toward Angel. "Stop"

The dark vampire dropped his blonde victim and turned to her his voice deadly calm. Wesley noted Angel's face had not changed during the entire ordeal.

"Willow, stay out of this."

The frightened redhead moved a step forward. "I can't do that Angel; if you kill Spike you will regret it. Buffy wouldn't want this. She would never want this."

He snapped at her. "I should have killed him years ago." He looked her in the eyes. "You knew what he did. All of you knew what he did. Why didn't she kill him?"

She dropped her eyes not being able to look him in the face. "I don't know Angel, I really don't know."

Wesley stepped forward. "Angel, think about it you are a much better man than this." He looked at him solemnly searching his face. "Angel, you are Angel aren't you?"

Angel stepped away from the bloodied vampire on the floor looking around at his family and friends.

"It doesn't really matter, now does it?" He looked at Giles the anger still evident on his face as he pointed a finger at him.

"When I left I expected you to take care of her." He turned away and moved swiftly up the stairs leaving bloodied footprints behind him. The others winced when they heard his bedroom door slam shut. Connor moved closer to Faith who was now kneeling beside Spike.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"I don't know." She looked up at Gunn. "Could you help me get him up?"

They reached for his arms to lift him but the pain was too much as he screamed in agony. Willow knelt beside Spike. "Let me help you with the pain." She reached for him but he tried to move away blinking to focus on her through his swollen eyes.

"No, I want it, I have to feel it." He gasped as he struggled to lift his head from the floor. All his ribs were broken. If he needed to breathe he would be dead. Reaching out with his one good hand to clasp hers as his voice came out in painful tones.

"You should have let him fry me. I want it to end. He should have finished the job."

Willow felt her eyes tearing as she patted his hand. "I couldn't do that. I don't have the right to decide who lives and dies, no one does." She felt a hand on her shoulder. Faith looked down at Spike and then back at Willow. "Please, she whispered, anything you can do, we have to get him out of here before something else happens." Willow placed her hand on Spike's bloody head. "Sleep now." She nodded to Gunn who bent down to lift him. Connor moved to his feet taking care of his broken leg. They carried him down the hall. Fred went to Dawn who was leaning against the lobby desk crying. "You have hurt your hand. Come with me and I'll fix it up for you." She pulled on her arm gently leading her to the kitchen. Giles wiped his brow as he took in the carnage in the lobby. "He's right. I should have taken better care of her and I didn't. I have never seen Angel like this. Was that even Angel or has Angelus come out again? I don't understand what happened here today."

Wesley picked up a piece of Fred's broken mug. He set it on the lobby desk before turning to Giles. "I think what happened today would be obvious Rupert. Angel now knows about Spike and Buffy. He did what any Master would do when he learns his childe has encroached on his territory. He punishes him. If it weren't for Willow I have no doubt he would have killed him."

Giles sank down onto a couch. "You don't really think this was all about vampire ownership do you? Angel left Buffy behind, remember? He walked away from her because he wanted what was best for her. I applauded him for having the foresight. You didn't want them together anymore than the rest of us."

"No, I didn't. But we failed Rupert. We failed with both our Slayers. Faith ended up in prison and as for Buffy was she better Rupert? Did she find the life Angel wanted for her? We all know she didn't. And no I don't think this was all about vampire ownership. This was about a man who finds out the woman he loves more than anything was violated. He did what any man would do. He sought to destroy her attacker. We know the line between Angel and Angelus is very fine right now. The past few weeks' events have proven it. But today it wasn't Angelus who beat Spike. I haven't any doubt it was Angel." He took in the bloodied lobby floor and stairs along with the broken furniture.

"I think this was all Angel."

The man in question paced nervously around his room stopping to look down at his bloodied hands with their own torn flesh and the blood that spattered his clothing most of it Spike's. It had been a long time since he had let himself reach the state he was in now and he fought to control his anger. If only Willow hadn't interfered Spike would be dust now and the punishment was warranted. It was made even worse by the fact that Cordelia had known and had not bothered to inform him. The fact that Buffy still let Spike hang around bothered him greatly. He looked down at his hands his Claddagh ring covered in the now dried substance. The smell was stifling and he stripped off his clothes dropping them in a heap at his feet. Blood smears covered his chest and arms where it had soaked through and he hurried to get it off him. Moving to the bathroom he climbed into the shower the hot water covering him as he scrubbed at his body. Willow was right. Buffy would not have wanted this and it would upset her but Spike hadn't left him any choice. If he and Buffy were ever to have a future together then his grandchilde needed to learn his place once and for all. No man or vampire for that matter would just set by while another touched his mate. He sank down into the shower the water rushing over him and the feeling of numbness enveloping him. He sat there for several minutes letting the water wash all his transgressions away. He raised his head and smiled. She would be back soon. He couldn't wait to see her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 32

Rating: NC-17

Wesley stood outside the bedroom door pausing to look at both Faith and Giles before knocking. He knocked lightly. "Angel, are you in there?"

A harsh laugh chilled them to their bones.

"Angel, you want Angel, well Angel isn't home." The door threw open to reveal Angel's alter ego in all his glory standing in a towel his hair dripping wet from his shower.

"Tell me something Wesley and do be quick about it. Where did the soul put my favorite pants? I can't seem to find them."

Faith came up behind Wesley grabbing his arm to pull him away from the vampire. Angelus laughed. "Hey, if it isn't the skanky Slayer? How does it feel to always be number two? This reminds me of a movie I happened to see once." He leaned toward her. "You were good kid, real good. But as long as she's around you'll always be second best see?"

Faith swung at him but he ducked before she could connect with his jaw. "Now, now, let's not get all excited here." He nodded at Giles. "Hey old man, how is Sunnydale these days? Oh that's right you wouldn't know. You left our Slayer alone." He took in the three of them. "It's simple really. Get Buffy back here and no one dies." He took a deep breath. "I take that back. Someone is definitely going to die here but then he already is dead. Where is my wayward grandchilde hiding anyway? Soul boy didn't finish the job but I intend to."

His fist shot out catching Faith in the jaw sending both her and Wesley sprawling into the hallway. He looked to the left of him where Dawn was hugging the wall hoping to avoid his detection while she moved in for a closer look. He grabbed her hand pulling her to him to breathe in her scent.

"So you're supposed to be made from Buffy huh? Someone lied to you girl. You smell nothing like Buffy." He pulled the bandage from her hand inspecting the open wound on her palm where she had cut herself downstairs. He laved it with his tongue closing it. "There all better now but little girl you taste nothing like Buffy." He pushed her gently away. "I know, I know, mustn't hurt the baby sister." Angelus looked down the hallway to see Fred and Willow near the stairs. He dropped his towel to where he was completely exposed except for his groin area where he held the towel in front of him.

"You ladies thought I was going to show you the prize didn't you?" He grinned wickedly. "Sorry, I can't do that. You see my mate has a tendency to get a little jealous." He looked up toward the ceiling an evil smirk on his face. "Yes, it's true; I the one and only Scourge of Europe have been taken off the market." He stepped back into the room smirking at Wesley and Faith who had remained on the floor. "Tell her I'm waiting." He closed the door in front of them.

The lobby was chaos when Buffy entered. Fred and Dawn were trying to clean the blood off the floor while Gunn was carrying out the broken couch with Connor's help. Dawn dropped her towel and hurried to her sister. Buffy took in the sight around her.

"Dawnie, are you okay? What happened here?"

"It was Angel; at least I think it was Angel. He beat Spike. He almost killed him. Now, she pointed up the stairs, Angelus is up there. I don't know what happened."

Giles rushed out of the office. "Buffy, it appears we may have Angelus on our hands. We aren't sure why but it may have something to do with Angel's rage over Spike's um, transgressions involving you. He snapped. He almost beat him to death."

Buffy was shocked. "I have to go to him."

"He is badly beaten Buffy. Willow and Faith are in there with him. He has lost a large amount of blood and he has numerous broken bones."

She looked at him confused. "Angel is hurt?"

"No, I was talking about Spike. Angel is well, Angelus at the moment."

She quickly moved up the stairs. Wesley met her at the top step.

"Buffy I don't know if it's safe for you to go in there. But you're the one he's waiting for."

She didn't answer but patted his shoulder before moving to the bedroom door. Entering quietly she scanned the room before locking the door behind her. Angelus was setting in the chair in front of her its back facing her. She walked up behind him her hand aware of the stake hidden in her jacket. "Buffy, Buffy, you know you haven't any intention of staking me. We're forever you and I. There isn't any till death do us part here. It's more like until eternity." He stood to face her. "Aren't you happy to see me? I thought we had grown closer the last weeks we have been together here. That is why you locked the door, isn't it? So we could spend some time together? I know that was you both above and below me the other night." He licked his lips. "Baby, you still taste just as sweet as the last time."

Buffy tried to remain calm as she stood before him. Her pulse was racing and she knew there wasn't any way to hide it. She lifted her head trying to prepare for what she might find in his eyes. That was the biggest difference between the outward appearances of Angel versus Angelus. It was indeed true the eyes were the windows to the soul. She knew Angelus eyes could be cold, full of hate and anger. He was unpredictable. He might very well want her dead or at least revenge since he wasn't successful the last time. She gulped hard as she remembered the events that had transpired before. She looked around the room. There weren't any artifacts, no ugly statues to open portals to hell this time. She searched his face before frowning. His eyes were lively and full of mischief. He reminded her of a disobedient little boy as he moved toward her.

"You don't trust me. That hurts me more than I can say. I don't want to hurt you baby. I just want to fu- excuse me, make love to you."

Buffy moved away from him. "Love, you don't know what that is. All you know is death and blood and pain. Why are you here? We thought Angel's soul was bound. What happened to make him lose it again? He was fine earlier."

Angelus unbuttoned his shirt slipping it off his shoulders to show his muscular chest the bruise on his neck where she had bit them earlier still evident. He smiled at her.

"Oh don't worry about him. The soul is still here. I just happen to be in charge right now. I'm afraid Angel got a bit of news that was just too much for him to handle. He was very angry; a bit of a bad boy. I have to say I'm actually proud of him. But then I came out to play. I don't know how long I'll be here so I really don't want to waste anymore time."

She grabbed his arm. "You have to tell me what happened to him, please."

Angelus took the opportunity to pull her into his arms burying his face in her hair. He breathed in her scent before moving to stroke her cheek. She stiffened in his arms and he relaxed his hold but didn't release her.

"It was that bitch seer. She called him all wanting forgiveness for being the lying slut that she is. She told him about you and Spike, all about you and Spike. She didn't really go into all the details but our boy didn't take it too well. He punished our disobedient grandchilde. He would have finished him off if that damn whore of a Slayer and the witch hadn't interfered. I think they need punishing. They need to learn to stay out of family business, our business. You don't touch what doesn't belong to you, Spike knows that."

Buffy moved away from him to take a seat on the bed. "I didn't want him to ever find out about that. Spike and I are over. He has a soul now. He is trying to make up for everything he's done."

Angelus threw back his head and laughed. He stopped when he saw Buffy's stricken face. "I'm not laughing at you love. It's just that this is Spike here. I don't see him atoning for much of anything. You have made the mistake of thinking because he has a soul he is therefore like Angel. He isn't and he never will be." He sat down on the bed beside her. "You want to believe that just because someone has a soul they are therefore good. The way you humans treat each other, you should know better than that. Even that seer bitch has a soul. You don't mind if I finish off Spike and then kill her do you? I've been listening to her voice for years and I really want to rip her head off. She really hates you, you know that don't you?"

"I know you are just a soulless demon, that's what I know. I do mind if you finish off Spike or hurt Cordelia even though I don't know why I'm saying that in her case. Why are you being so nice to me? You hate me. Stop the games and tell me what you want."

He ignored her last comment pushing on with his thoughts. "If I was such a demon I would punish you for lets just say your involvement with Spike but I can't and I don't hate you. If it would have been up to me we would have never walked away from you. I knew even then your bond wasn't just with Angel but with me too. He took us away from you because he knew I wanted you just as badly as he did and it terrified him. He knew I wasn't interested in killing you but he was afraid I might turn you. You belong to both of us just as we belong to you. You know this. If you didn't you wouldn't have called for me like you did and let me say again it was wonderful." He reached for her pulling her into his chest. "You are as much a part of me as you are him." He rubbed his nose against her cheek before making his descent for her neck. He kissed the scar there sending shivers through her. "You still taste sweet. Just like nectar. I bet you taste just as sweet in other places too."

She pushed away from him. "You're a pig."

He raised an eyebrow. "Yes, and you love it." He sobered for a moment. "Once again, I don't know how much longer I have until the soul takes control again. Do you suppose I could have a kiss just for me without him getting in the way? I even promise not to bite. All I want is just one kiss."

She studied him for a moment before rising to her knees on the bed. Part of her wanted to kiss him while the other part was worried about both what Angel would think of it and whether Spike was going to be okay. She knew she and Angel would have some talking to do.

"Hey, it's not fair to be thinking about them when you're here with me." He moved closer.

"All I asked for is a kiss; anything else is up to you."

Buffy looked into his eyes checking for signs of anything to show whether he was being sincere or not. Leaning closer he could see just the tiniest amount of cleavage beneath the rounded neckline of her shirt. She moved her right hand to his face caressing his cheek before sliding to the back of his head where she rubbed his neck. She traced a finger over the bruise on his neck while he took the opportunity to breathe in her scent again. She looked into his eyes once more before pressing her lips against his. He reached an arm around her deepening the kiss and returning it while pulling her into his lap. His other arm came up around her drawing her tighter into his embrace while his hand slid up under her shirt to caress her back. She moved to set astride him while her hands pushed his open shirt out of the way. Buffy knew he would let her take the lead this time until he reached the point where he couldn't any longer. She couldn't discern whether her labored breathing and the heat flowing through her body was for Angel or Angelus. He moved to her ear kissing her lobe.

"Let me feel your skin. It's smooth like silk and warm, so warm." She slipped her shirt over her head while he leaned down into her chest taking a lace covered nipple into his mouth. He lay back on the bed taking her with him. Her breathy sighs were making him hard before she even touched him. His erection was pressing against her leg and he pushed into her.

"Touch me, he whispered, see how hard I am for you, only for you. My Buffy, my beautiful Buffy."

She pulled away rising to stand by the bed.

"Why are you calling me Buffy? You have always called me Buff or even lover. You have never called me Buffy." He set up in front of her tracing a pattern on her stomach while he toyed with the buttons on her jeans.

"It's simple really. It has occurred to me that Xander has been known to call you Buff." He leveled a look at her. "That boy and I will never have anything in common. It's a good thing he no longer has a passion for you or I would have to make him sorry." He smiled up at her. "I have been a bad boy too today just like Angel. Though I think his behavior is much worse than mine. Did they tell you?"

She shook her head no as she bent down to kiss him. He slipped his tongue in to meet hers wanting to taste her in anyway he could. His fingers quickly unfastened her jeans dipping inside to cup her cloth covered mound. She was already wet and he took a quick indrawn breath as her scent wafted up to greet his nose. He quickly shed his pants to reveal he wasn't wearing Angel's usual boxers. She looked down at his unclothed body raising an eyebrow.

"What, he said; it's just one more thing I would have to take off." She smiled at him as she took a hold of his erection stroking it slowly her eyes never leaving his face. She could feel it lengthen and grow harder under her fingers. She lightly licked the end of it causing him to jump. He lay back on the bed. "Damn, you're going to be the death of me." He laughed. "Good thing I'm already dead."

"Angelus, shut up."

He closed his eyes as she took him into her mouth her tongue tracing the underside before taking him deep into her throat. He tried to pull away but she held him fast her throat muscles closing around him. He could feel it starting and he roared as he came his seed spilling down her throat. He felt like a schoolboy. He couldn't believe he had come so fast once she had taken him in her mouth. She rose to stand before him and he reached for her.

"My turn, he said gleefully as he quickly removed her jeans and then her panties. He pulled her down to lie on the bed beside him moving swiftly between her thighs. He buried his nose in her mound. "Ah, the sweet smell of Buffy." He dipped his tongue into her slit and she moved against him. "Do you like that?"

Her only answer was a gasp as he lightly licked her outer lips while his hands massaged her inner thighs. Her juices began to flow more freely so he slid two fingers inside of her relishing in the feel of her muscles clamping around them. His cock twitched painfully beneath him but he wanted her to come at least once before he entered her. He applied a light pressure to her clit with his tongue while continuing to rub her opening with his fingertips. Buffy was a very passionate woman and Angelus had learned in just the few times Angel had been intimate with her just how her temperature changed, how her breathing sounded, and how her body tightened just before she came. She made a low moan in her throat and he knew she was near. He took her clit in his mouth and began to suck alternating between licking her inner lips and flicking her nub with this tongue. She tensed before collapsing her orgasm washing over her as she panted for air. He leaned back and looked into her face her eyes were closed and she had a small smile on her lips. She looked like a well loved woman but he wasn't finished. Rising above her he moved to the foot of the bed pulling her with him. He put one foot on the floor and bent forward resting his other knee on the bed. Reaching down he lifted her hips sliding his cool length into her. She gasped at the intrusion and he gave her a moment to move against him finding her perfect spot. He pulled out and he pushed back in slowly fighting the need to pound into her. Her head and shoulders lay back on the bed her hips raised to cradle against him while his full length filled her. He looked into her eyes. "Do you know whose inside you Buffy? Do you know who wants to make you come until you beg me to stop? Do you Buffy?"

He pulled almost all the way out before sliding again inside her where he knew he was the deepest, the tip of his cock tapping against her womb. He pulled out again loving the sounds of her protests before he pushed forward again. She opened her passion filled eyes to look into his. "Please, she whispered.

"Please what? Tell me what you want and I'll do it for you, I'll do it to you."

"Please Angelus, harder."

That was all it took as he once more he pulled almost out before slamming his way home. She began to moan beneath him as he held her slim hips in his hands while pounding into her. Her breasts jiggled with each thrust but he didn't want to stop long enough to take one in his mouth. He could feel her orgasm beginning as her muscles tightened around her cock. He slid his arm under her to hold her up while his other hand found her clit massaging it with his thumb before feeling her explode as she came on his cock. He reached down pulling her up to him so she effectively straddled him while he continued to pound into her body. Her head was thrown back and her breathing labored her body feverish. She lifted her head to look in his eyes.

"Drink"

He let out a roar before biting into her scar taking a long swallow. He came as she did again spilling his seed deep inside her. Exhausted he lay her down on the bed climbing up to collapse beside her. Leaning over her he laved the wound on her neck insuring it would close. She smiled as he moved to her face looking down at her before placing a kiss on her lips.

"I love you, she whispered.

He stroked her face as the demon felt his undead heart swell. He pulled the sheet up over her as she snuggled against him. He lay there looking up at the ceiling. He knew Angel might have wanted to sleep by now their large body curled behind her but not him. He wanted to smell her, touch her. He wanted to relish every moment he had at being the one in front right now instead of having to remain in the background where every touch was muted, every whisper barely heard. He had missed her so much while they had been separated and the few times Angel did come in contact with her again were never enough for his demon. He could feel the soul pushing forward and he knew he didn't have much time nor did he know when he would ever get this chance again. He looked over at their mate laying there in her slumber. Where once he only wanted to see her broken and bleeding now he wanted to see her smile, feel her sighs as she moved beneath him, her warm body caressing his. He smiled as he remembered those three little words she had whispered to him. He reached over her smoothing the hair away from her face.

"You made me love you, he whispered. "I never wanted to but I do. I'll never let you go. I can never give you up. He won't either, I promise you." He remained silent for a moment stroking her face one last time. He resumed his position on the pillow when he felt Angel pushing to the front. "Okay, I'll go but you better take good care of her."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 33

A loud banging drove Xander from his place on the couch to open the door. He stepped aside to allow entrance to Giles and a very upset Lorne. The green demon strode past him entering the living room. "Where is she?"

The younger man rubbed his face with his hand. "She's in the bedroom. She was crying earlier but I don't know if she is really upset or just upset that I heard her conversation with Angel."

He caught Giles eye. "So I guess Angel and Buffy aren't doing too well right now?"

The former Watcher gave him an angry look. "Not now, Xander."

Lorne knocked on the bedroom door. "Cordelia, get out here. I want to talk to you." He waited for a few seconds. "If you don't come out now I'm coming in. I don't care if you're naked as the day your demon mother spit you out."

She flung open the door. "Hey, my mother is not a demon, and I have you know I'm only half demon which I got because the visions were killing me, thank you."

He crossed his arms as he leaned back against the wall. "Is that so? I could have sworn you were all demon considering the damage you've done today. All the work I have done bringing those two back together and then you go and destroy it."

She bristled at his tone, "Is it my fault little Miss save the world didn't bother to tell him her big secret? And then she lets the evil demon stay around? Maybe Angel needed to know what his ex has been up to before he got in too deep again."

"Shut up, shouted Giles, "you stupid girl. You have no idea what you've done. You are so hell bent on hurting Buffy that you did the worse possible thing you could. You brought Angelus out and Buffy is with him right now."

"What, shouted Xander, "how did that happen? I thought Buffy bound Angelus. She and Angel have been getting all happy the last few days and how is this Cordy's fault? She wasn't even there."

"The best we can ascertain Angel didn't take the news very well. He beat Spike severely and would have killed him if Willow hadn't intervened. He let me know in no uncertain terms I had shirked my duty towards Buffy. Afterwards Angelus came out.

He hit Faith, told me again how disappointed he was in me and then demanded to see Buffy. She went up to him as soon as she arrived. That was a while ago."

"But why isn't anyone trying to help Buffy? Angelus could be torturing her right now. We need to get over there."

Lorne cleared his throat. "I'm sure Buffy is fine. Angelus won't hurt her." He turned again to Cordelia. "As for you, I'm sure he would really like to talk to you."

She moved away groping for her door to close herself in. "No, you can't let him get me? Angel can come in my apartment. We have to do a spell to keep him out."

Lorne snorted, "Why, it's your fault he's out and roaming his bedroom right now? He may just want to say thank you."

"No, she cried, "I already told Xander. I didn't mean to tell Angel about Spike. It just came out. I didn't mean to tell him, I really didn't."

"Okay, Lorne smiled, "if that is the truth then you won't mind singing for me. Come on Cordy, let's hear those pipes, not that I'm relishing this but it's all I have to work with."

"But why do I have to sing? I don't have any music and besides you have read me before without me singing."

"And that was a mistake on my part. I can't trust you not to lie to me. None of us can now. If you want us to believe you then sing."

"But what am I going to sing? And you want me to sing right here?"

Xander took her arm pulling her to the living room. Giles took a seat in the chair to watch them while Lorne moved closer to the pair of them. He watched intently as the young man stroked her arm. "Just sing, Cordy. Prove to them you didn't mean it. Sing row, row, row your boat, it doesn't matter. Just sing."

She got through two verses before Lorne intervened. "Stop, just stop, you don't sing any better than Angel." He paused to look at the others. "Okay, I believe you; you didn't mean to spill the beans to Angel but honey I have to tell you what I did see I didn't like."

He nodded to Xander who moved her to the couch before taking a seat beside her. She took his arm holding on to him as Lorne continued, "Your soul is dirty Cordelia. It's consumed with jealousy and envy. Your selfish and petty, two things I knew but had always overlooked before. You want to blame Buffy for your hardships and you think if she would just forgive you correctly it would make it all better. I'm telling you now Buffy isn't the one you should be seeking redemption from. " He paused for a moment. "The Powers took your eyesight from you. They are the only ones who can decide to return it. You need to pray to them to forgive you, it's your only hope." He shook his head. "I need to get back to the hotel. I have a feeling I'm going to be needed very soon." He met Giles gaze. "I know you're worried but I don't think we should worry about Angelus hurting her. It's another one of those things I can't explain."

Giles walked him to the door. "I think I will be staying here for a while. I have some soul searching of my own to do." He took off his glasses and started to clean them but stopped returning them to his face. He frowned as he faced the green demon.

"They were both right. Angel and Angelus, they were both right. I failed her dreadfully. I love her as if she were my own daughter but when she needed me I wasn't there. I have to live with that."

Lorne smiled sadly. "But she loves you. To her, you are her father."

The former Watcher shook his head. "I'm no better than her birth father. I deserted her just as he did."

Lorne patted his shoulder. "But you're here now. It's what you plan to do while you're here that counts. If you can support her and her love for Angel then that's all she needs. I've got to go."

Buffy stepped from the shower wrapping her body in the heavy towel. She moved into the bedroom only to be greeted by the loud clap of thunder outside the window. Moving the heavy drape aside she could see the night was heavy and dark and the lightning flashed over the rooftops of the buildings surrounding the hotel. She turned to face the man who lay asleep behind her but he slept on oblivious to the sounds of the storm outside. She moved closer to the bed studying the face of her lover as he slept. Leaning over him she pulled the blanket up and adjusted the coverlet at the foot. A large part of her wanted to crawl back into bed and snuggle up beside him feeling his large body flush against hers. She had stood in front of the bathroom mirror earlier examining her body. There were no marks, no bruises, nothing to show she had been with the demon Angelus but the mark at her neck, their mark. She knew now he was right. Her mark had always been the work of both of them and she just hadn't been aware then. Now she was feeling confused and more than a little guilty. She remembered his words just before she closed her eyes to sleep.

"You made me love you. I never wanted to but I do. I'll never let you go. I can never give you up. He won't either, I promise you."

She had come to him earlier and it wasn't because she was worried about him hurting anyone. The truth was she hadn't considered the others at all. All she could think about was getting to him; her only concern seeing him. She knew she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. Spike had told her once she wanted the monster, she craved the darkness. Perhaps he was right. The others had said Angel had been the one who attacked Spike and Angelus had confirmed it. She knew it had to be true for if it had been his handiwork he would have gladly admitted it. She cringed to think of just exactly how Cordelia had told him about her and Spike. The thought of Angel's reaction scared her. What if opened his eyes and all she would see is the disgust and betrayal mirrored there? Would he ever be able to forgive her for her twisted sexcapades with Spike, and what about Angelus? A chill sent a shiver through her as she dressed quickly pulling her wet hair into a ponytail. She needed to talk to someone before she had to face Angel but who could even begin to understand what she herself didn't. Making her way silently down the stairs she realized it was much later than she thought as it appeared everyone else was asleep. She paused outside the kitchen door to see Lorne inside with Wesley. Both men were speaking in quiet whispers and they froze when she entered. Wesley rose to his feet. "Buffy, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I guess the storm woke me up." She attempted to lie but then caught Lorne's eyes on her. "No, I've been awake for a while really. Is everyone else okay?"

The older man nodded. "Everyone is fine. As for Spike I think he will be eventually. Vampires do heal quickly but he took quite a beating."

She stole a glance at Lorne before looking down at her hands.

"I don't know what to say about the whole thing with Spike. I knew I was going to have to tell Angel but I didn't know how. I am as responsible as he is for what happened between us." She looked up at Wesley. "You don't know the things I did."

Lorne interrupted, "Let me tell you what I know." He nodded toward the seat in front of him and she sat down.

"I know people do things sometimes for all the wrong reasons but in the end we learn something from it. Now you baby doll, the first time I saw you wasn't in the lobby that morning. I looked in on you and Angel cakes the night before when you both were asleep. I don't usually barge into people's bedrooms but Fred was adamant I see the two of you when I arrived. Now I'm glad I did. I realized much of what I believed about him was wrong. I will never just assume anything ever again and you, I know what you are feeling and I want to tell you he loves you very much." He reached for her hands causing her to look at him. "I don't need to tell you any of this and I've already had this conversation with your other half. Talk to him, tell him exactly how you feel, tell him about all your fears because I can guarantee he has plenty of his own right now."

She nodded then turned to Wesley taking the cup of tea he offered before resuming his seat. "Lorne is right Buffy. Angel will undoubtedly be upset and embarrassed by some today's events. As for his altercation with Spike I know the others feel Angel did this because Spike assaulted you and I don't doubt that but everyone forgets that first and foremost Angel and Spike are vampires and they do have their laws. Spike is also well aware of the depth of Angel's devotion to you. Their relationship has always been strained at best and I'm sure Spike also felt by his involvement with you he would be defying Angel who is his grandsire. Also we don't know how Angelus was able to come out earlier. He didn't really hurt anyone but he is still dangerous. I have to admit when he grabbed Dawn I was terrified."

"He touched Dawn?" Buffy remembered him saying something about being a bad boy but she hadn't been too worried about it then. All at once she felt sick at her stomach. Her distress showed plainly on her face and Wesley continued. "He didn't hurt her. In fact he only licked her hand. She had cut it earlier during the fight and he closed the wound. He left her go immediately. He was much more interested in you. He made it very clear he only wanted to see you. Is he still up there?"

"No, Angel is in control again. I haven't talked to him because he's asleep; I just know it's him. Also I heard Angelus telling him he could have control again. But will this happen again? This is my fault, isn't it? In trying to help Angel I brought Angelus too close to the surface. I seem to have a habit of unleashing him on the world." She laughed harshly, "He told me he loves me and that he would never leave me. He said if it had been his choice he would never have left in the first place. Am I crazy? Why do I feel like he was telling me the truth? I am so confused right now."

Wesley studied her for a moment the guilt at his thoughtlessness flowing over him. "Buffy, I want you to know how sorry I am that I brought you here for Angel without any regard as to how you would have to deal with all of this. In my own selfishness I failed to consider how any of this would affect you. As for Angelus, I can't believe I'm saying this but I do believe he was telling you the truth. I find it interesting he would admit it but he had already made it clear to all of us he considered himself to be 'yours' in every sense of the word. You and Angel will have to talk about all of this. I wouldn't go anywhere near Spike right now if I were you. We will keep you informed as to his progress but I am certain the only reason Angel didn't finish what he started was Willow was able to stop him."

The blonde Slayer buried her face in her hands for a moment and the Lorne took this opportunity to move closer. He took in a deep calming breath as he struggled to read the emotions poring from the small blonde. "Baby girl, you and Angel cakes are going to be the death of me with all the sensory flooding to my poor noggin, a demon can only take so much." He sobered as he took in her anxious face. "I want to tell you something else too. I know this mess has you worried but the important thing to remember is you have him and he has you. Yes, Angelus is part of the package but that's a given. It's not as if you can't handle him. I'm not going to tell you it will be easy."

She lifted her head to look at him. "One thing Angel and I have never had is easy. That would be too much to ask for."

He smiled. "But if it's worth having then it's worth fighting for, right? Together you are strong, alone you are dead." She froze but did not meet his eyes. His voice dropped as he spoke in her ear. "That is another thing you two will have to discuss. Does he know you remember?"

She raised her head to look at him. "I don't know. We talked about it when we were on the dream plane but I don't know if he remembers everything we said. I don't blame him if that's what your wondering."

The green demon smiled, "The thought never crossed my mind. It's just as I already told you talk to him. Tell him everything. Listen to what he says in return and this time lead with your hearts and not your heads. I know you feel like he does that you have both made some terrible mistakes. Darling with our lives such as they are who hasn't? You two are supposed to be together. I know it, everyone else knows it, and the Powers know it. You just make sure he knows it. Why don't you try to get some rest? I know I could use some shut eye myself."

"I think I just want to sit here for a while. I need to think."

Wesley rose from his seat behind the desk. "I think I will say goodnight or perhaps good morning. It will be dawn in a few hours." He rubbed her shoulder reassuringly, surprising himself as he smoothed her hair. "Everything will be fine."

The two men said their goodnights and she moved to the lobby taking in her surroundings. Taking her cup of tea she entered Angel's office, snuggling into his chair. It wasn't long before she fell asleep.

Angel hurried down the stairs afraid of what he might encounter at the bottom. Was she downstairs with Spike right now, tending his injuries, nursing his wounds? And if she was, how should he handle this? He hurried down the stairs stopping at his office door. There she was asleep in his chair. He couldn't help the extreme sense of relief he felt inside as he moved closer to the door. He reached for the doorknob but turned his head as his ears picked up the sounds of Spike moaning from down the hallway. He followed them to find the blonde vampire tossing in his sleep as Faith leaned over him. The dark haired Slayer washed his face and chest with unsteady hands her face impassive as she tended to the wounded vampire. She rose quickly from the bed turning to find Angel standing behind her. He moved closer to the bed looking down on the man laying there. He could feel his rage returning but struggled to keep it under control. He raised his head to see her watching him. She looked exhausted and a faint purple bruise graced her check.

"You can leave us now." Angel felt the familiar twinge of guilt remembering how he had struck her earlier both downstairs and upstairs again while Angelus had been in control. He pushed down the impulse to apologize. The others should not have interfered in his 'family' business. He watched her hesitate and spoke quietly,

"I'm not planning on doing anymore damage to him tonight."

She studied him warily as she picked up the basin of water. She moved to the doorway stopping for a moment. "He's been talking in his sleep. He talks to you, to her. He begs you to kill him and her for forgiveness. The rest doesn't make much sense."

Angel remained silent as she left before turning again to Spike. He stood over him waiting until the blonde vampire opened his eyes. He blinked a few times before resting his gaze on his grandsire standing over him. "I was waiting for you to come. Let's finish this, shall we? Just get it over with."

The dark haired man snorted, "No, I don't think so. I want you to feel this. I want you to feel every minute of it. You'll heal but it will take a while and while you're laying there I want you to remember every moment of the beating I gave you. If I ever catch you near her again then I will finish it and no one will be able to stop me."

Spike coughed deeply, tensing as the pain from his ribs shot through him. He struggled to rise but Angel pushed him backward his large hand pressing on his chest. He knew it wouldn't take much for the older man to cave in his chest so he stilled. He took a deep breath, "She only wanted you. You weren't there when they brought her back." He raised his head as he shouted at him hoarsely. "The nightmares, she cried for you and you never came. She went to see you and you broke her some more before sending her home. I took her but you gave her away."

Angel shoved him back onto the bed looming over him angrily. "I meant what I said."

He left the room pausing in the lobby as Faith met him coming from the kitchen. He looked into her tired face.

"You should be in bed. It will be daylight soon." He paused for a moment. "Do you really think he's worth saving?"

She lifted her gaze to his. "I remember a time when Buffy was the only one who believed in you. She stopped me from staking you, remember? Later you were the one who tried to help me when I didn't deserve it."

She looked toward his office where Buffy sat asleep in his chair. "She doesn't look very comfortable there, does she? I'm betting you could do something about that."

He started to move away but paused, "Faith, I…."

Her words drifted over her shoulder as she moved away.

"Don't apologize, Angel. It isn't necessary and you don't really mean it anyway."

He entered his office stopping again to look down at the woman in his chair. He picked her up gently her arms automatically reaching around his neck as he made his way up the stairs to their room. He paused for a moment as his enhanced hearing again picked up the sound of Spike moaning while Faith whispered to him soothingly. Buffy shifted in his arms and he continued down the hallway. Entering the bedroom he laid her down on his bed crawling in behind her as she moved to snuggle into his arms. She murmured in her sleep. "I love you." He closed his eyes tightly but a tear escaped down his face. All his old fears were rising again to haunt him. She was still human and he was still a demon; he immortal and her not. He had snapped earlier today. The blinding rage he felt against Spike was still ringing in his ears. He could have killed him and never felt a tinge of regret. And now Angelus, he knew how his demon felt now while having to remain in the background. It was if every touch, every caress was muted, as if he were wearing gloves on his soul. He had been there earlier as his demon had made love to Buffy. Every touch he had experienced as if secondary, every word he had heard as if it were a whisper. His demon had moved to the background with his warning evident.

'You had better take good care of her.'

In all their years together he had never imagined he and Angelus would ever agree on anything but that one thing was their love for one woman. A woman Angelus was perfectly willing to share with him now. He had wanted everything for her when he walked away that night and she had yet to find any of it. He thought about what his life had been like since they had been apart and he didn't want to return to that old existence. Too many times he had had to separate himself from her. He cursed the Powers that would bring her to him and then allow him to put her in danger again. As he kissed her forehead she smiled in her sleep and he realized how much he had missed all of this. Having her here, holding her like this, it was all he could ever wish for, all he had ever wanted was to someday be worthy of her, to be the man she deserved. He slept with her pillowed on his chest, his large hands caressing her back as if in sleep she would be taken from him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 34

Wesley was setting in the garden staring at nothing when Willow found him. "Good morning, she said handing him his cup of tea.

"You didn't get much sleep did you?"

He shook his head. "You've heard the old adage, no rest for the wicked; well that is exactly how I am feeling today."

"I've never thought of you as wicked. I remember not liking you very much when you were in Sunnydale but that is just because you were trying to replace Giles. I never really got to know you. None of us did."

"I didn't like myself very much back then and I'm not feeling much better about myself now. I started all of this and now I can't do a damn thing to fix it."

The redhead patted his shoulder reassuringly, "I know you were just trying to help Angel. All of us know that. Have you seen either of them since she went upstairs yesterday? I know you and Lorne believe Angelus won't hurt her and you didn't want us to interfere but this is Angelus we're talking about."

Lorne and I talked to her late last night. She is fine and Angelus has given control to Angel again. According to Buffy he did it voluntarily."

Willow sat stunned. "Wow, I would never have expected that. No, maybe I would. I remember telling her one time that it didn't matter whether he was Angel or Angelus she was still the only thing he could think about."

He rose from his seat. "After yesterday I think you can assume your observations are still very true. Even so it seems Angelus has managed to surprise us all by admitting his true feelings."

He looked into the glass doors to see the others entering the lobby. "I need to fill everyone in. Are you coming?"

"Yes, I'm with you."

Buffy opened her eyes to the sounds of the shower running. She could hear Angel moving around in the bathroom and the feeling of panic overwhelmed her. She was scared, down to the very marrow of her bones terrified at seeing his face when he came through the door. She tried to remember everything Lorne and Wesley had told her last night but right now none of their reassuring words would come through. She rose quickly grabbing her jogging pants and a tank top. She slipped from the bedroom and hurried down the stairs. Dawn and Connor were setting in the lobby and they rose as she came down spotting the bandage on her sister's hand.

"Dawnie, are you okay? Wesley told me you hurt your hand."

She reached for her hand inspecting the bandage.

"Don't worry Buffy, it's fine. I cut it but then Angelus fixed it, he didn't even try to hurt me." She took back her hand removing the bandage and holding it up. "Giles says he actually helped me. He closed the wound on my palm. See, it's almost healed."

Connor moved closer to Buffy. "Are you okay, he asked her quietly.

"I'm fine." She sensed his unasked question. "Your father is okay too. He is in the shower right now."

He seemed to accept her answer moving away from the two sisters. Buffy's eyes followed him as Dawn chattered in her ear.

"You won't believe what Angelus did yesterday. It was scary but it was also exciting and very naughty."

Buffy turned back to her. "That's great Dawn but if he ever comes out again I want you to stay away from him."

The teenager snorted, "He wouldn't hurt me. He said he can't hurt me. He was much more interested in you anyway, she teased.

Gunn and Fred came in from the kitchen the small woman coming to Buffy and enveloping her in a hug. Buffy looked at her surprised while Gunn grinned behind them. "I'm glad you're okay, she said shyly. "I've been worried about you though Wesley said you would be okay. Yesterday was pretty scary around here what with Angel beating up Spike and then Angelus… She stopped in mid-sentence her face getting red. "Would anyone like to have some breakfast? Willow is cooking this morning and it smells wonderful."

Buffy hesitated before speaking. "I'm not very hungry right now. I think I would like to go workout for a little while." She moved toward the basement stairs and Gunn moved in behind her.

"Hey, is that offer to spar with me still open? I would really like to see you in action when we aren't fighting for our lives."

Buffy looked back at the others. "Sure, come on." She spoke to Dawn. "You go have breakfast. I'll eat in a little while."

"But I haven't got to tell the rest of what Angelus did, Dawn protested. Fred's face turned pink again remembering the towel incident. 'How was she supposed to look her boss in the face again after seeing him like that?' She took Dawn's arm. "Come on, you can tell her later."

Connor stood against the basement wall watching Gunn and Buffy warm up. He had been amazed before watching her fight and was looking forward to seeing her again. Lorne came down behind him as Buffy and Gunn started to spar. The demon had come immediately upon hearing the black man had challenged her and he was eager to see how the blonde Slayer was today. He had just come from looking in on Spike. Faith had been asleep on the couch they had moved into the room and the blonde vampire had been staring up at the ceiling. He had moved closer to the bed waiting until Spike looked at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Like hammered shit, he chuckled, "I feel like I had my ass kicked but then I did, didn't I?" He paused as a wave of pain washed over him. "Is she okay? I heard the evil one reared his pretty head. I'm surprised he didn't pay me a visit."

"I think he was more interested in her this time. She was okay earlier. I haven't seen him yet."

"Don't let him do anything stupid. I know him and he will. If he sends her away then all of this will be for nothing, he said shaking his head. "I talked to him last night but I don't know if I got through that thick head of his."

He struggled to rise but the pain stopped him and he fell back on the pillow. He coughed harshly before speaking again.

"She's been good to me. We all know I damn well don't deserve it but still she's been good to me." He jerked his head over toward Faith asleep on the couch.

"This one over here, she has been here all night. Even when Red tried to get her to go to bed she still stayed. I don't deserve either of them but that hasn't stopped them."

"Maybe, mused Lorne, "they see something in you the rest haven't. Maybe there is more to you than just what the others see."

"And what do you see, asked Spike quietly, "am I worth saving because right now I'm not so sure."

"That is something you will just have to decide for yourself."

He headed for the doorway but Spike spoke again, "Don't let him screw this up. If he hurts her again I will get out of this bed and beat his ass. He only gets the one round. I owed him that. He won't get another one without a fight."

Wesley entered the basement to find the others watching Buffy and Gunn. It had been some years since the former Watcher had seen her in training and he marveled at how much her skills had matured. She was like lightning and Gunn didn't have a chance. They all knew she was holding back in order to not injure him and it hurt the black man's pride more than he wanted to admit. He was a head taller and almost twice her weight and she still urged him on. He crouched to the floor intending to sweep her feet from under her when Angel entered the room distracting them all for a moment. She took Gunn down landing on his chest and his arms went around her waist in an instinctive move. Everyone jumped when a low warning growl erupted from Angel. Gunn froze beneath her removing his arms from her waist. She calmly got to her feet giving him a hand where he rose quickly to face his boss.

"We were just sparring Angel man, that's all. I'm just getting my ass whipped and trying to take it like a man."

Buffy kept her eyes on Angel while she spoke to Gunn.

"Thank you for the workout. I needed it."

He glanced quickly at Angel before smiling at her.

"You kicked my ass. I'm dying here and you didn't even break a sweat. You need someone better than me to train with."

She turned to Angel. "Did you hear that baby? I need someone to train with. Are you up for it?"

The others stepped back as Angel quickly discarded his shirt and moved in front of her. They began as if by hidden cue each knowing exactly how to move, how to turn, how to kick. They moved as if they were one, a perfect mirror of the other. Connor was as mesmerized as the others watching their bodies move in perfect sync. For the first time he understood the passages he had read regarding the two of them. His father was dark where she was light. They were like sunlight and shadow, the sun and the moon, the darkness and the dawn. Lorne had moved closer to watch them in their dance of anger, passion, love and uncertainty. He closed his eyes when it became too much to bear for him. The emotions coming off them were painful to see and even harder when he could feel the residuals of them. He motioned to Wesley and the others and they all followed him upstairs. In the lobby the demon sank onto a couch breathing heavily.

"What's happening down there, asked Wesley. "I know you read something."

"They will have to work it out on their own. I just hope our stubborn boss remembers what I told him." He rose to his feet and headed to the kitchen. "I need a drink."

Wesley frowned. "Isn't it a bit early?"

"Some days it can never be too early."

Cordelia entered the living room her hand in front of her to find the couch. Xander rose and reached for her but she shook him off.

"Thank you, but I have to do this on my own." She took a seat and lifted her head to face both he and Giles. "I've been doing some thinking about a lot of things and I have come to realize Lorne is right. I have to make some changes in my life and I need to begin now. I want a clean slate if I can even hope for that. I have to prove to the Powers that I can change or else I will stay like this. Wesley said something to me that I tried to ignore but I can't. Doyle passed his visions to me because he believed I would use them to help Angel and others. He would be very disappointed in me if he knew how I'd ignored them when it suited me. I'm not going back to the hotel. I don't have a place there any longer and I know it's my doing. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do but I have to make some decisions quickly."

Giles leaned forward in his chair. "Cordelia, you are going to have to work very hard to prove to any of us you are trying to change your life here. It won't be easy, not even a little bit."

She hesitated for a moment. "I know that and I don't expect you to believe me right now. I know I am going to have to earn your trust and I will have to do that one at a time. Giles, I have always respected you, even though I didn't act like it. I would appreciate any advice you could give me here."

"Actually Cordy, began Xander, "I may have an idea if your interested and willing to listen."

She sat back in her seat. "I'm interested, I'm very interested."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 35

Dawn and Connor followed a worried Lorne into the kitchen where the demon took a glass from the cabinet. He turned when he realized the teenagers were behind him.

"What can I do for you little one? Just please don't ask me to read you right now because my brain is still overloaded with your sister and the broody one."

Dawn shared a look with Connor. "That's not I wanted to ask you. What is the biggest obstacle keeping Buffy and Angel apart?"

The green demon took a seat at the table forgetting all about his sought for drink. "Well, I would have to say other than Angel's taking it upon himself to make all the decisions regarding the two of them it would have to be their duty to the world."

Connor sat down across from him and Lorne lifted his head to face him. They eyed each other warily for a moment before the boy spoke. "You mean he has work to do here and someone has to watch over Sunnydale?"

"Exactly, where are you two going with this?" He leaned back in his chair studying the two of them. "You two are up to something. Let's have it kiddies and remember sometimes best laid plans and all we have a tendency to do more damage than good."

Dawn snorted, "You mean where you and Fred were trying to tell Angel he belonged with Cordelia instead of my sister?"

He shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. "You aren't going to be letting me forget that anytime soon, are you?"

She raised an eyebrow in a gesture that reminded him of Spike. "I seriously doubt it. But we want them to be able to stay together and I think you should help us come up with something. It would be a way of helping make up for your lame idea."

Lorne looked at Connor and laughed. "She's a tough one, isn't she?'

Dawn smiled. "I'm a Summers. All Summers women are tough. We have to be and I think we should go see Faith and Willow now."

An exhausted Buffy sank to the mat in the basement breathing heavily followed by an equally exhausted Angel. The two of them lay there for long moments each waiting on the other to speak. Buffy finally rose to set beside him studying his face as he stared at the ceiling. He stole a look at her before speaking.

"I told you once that I have loved one woman in my entire life. Do you remember that day? I also told you to be careful with this gift because sometimes it can be painful. We've had a lot of painful Buffy, more than you ever deserved. When I left Sunnydale I did it because I loved you more than I could ever put into words and because I was terrified. I can admit it now. I was terrified that one day I wouldn't be able to stop myself and Angelus would be unleashed again. I wanted you to be happy with someone who could give you all the things I never could. One thing I didn't consider was the fact your calling isolates you from so many who couldn't even begin to understand what you have to do every day to keep them safe. I'm not going to tell you that I haven't accomplished some good being here, I have. I've also found myself slipping. There have been times when I just wanted to let Angelus have control and never have to deal with anything again. The whole situation with Darla and then Connor, I never wanted to hurt you. There were so many times I wanted to pick up the phone and talk to you but I couldn't. It would have just made things much worse than they were."

"Cordelia told me you used to call me and then hang up when I answered. I remember getting those calls and I sometimes got this feeling it might be you but I thought it was too much to hope for. I wish you would have talked to me then. Just knowing you were out there and still thinking of me like I was you, I missed you so much. The last time we saw each other you were so happy to see me and I couldn't tell you that I didn't want to be here. I just wanted all the pain to stop. You came back here and I had to go back home."

"I should have known something wasn't right. I was so happy to see you that I got scared. We all know what happens when I get too happy Buffy and it was never your fault. You just happened to be the one who could make me the happiest. I'm sorry I wasn't where I could help you. I'm sorry I sent you back and knowing what I do now makes it much worse. But I don't understand something Buffy. Spike has been in Sunnydale all this time. You have let him be around your family, your friends. You have always known he was dangerous and yet you let him walk free. Why didn't you just stake him?" He looked into her eyes. "You're going to have to explain to me why you didn't just kill him. Even after he attacked you you're still helping him. Why Buffy?" He hesitated for a moment before asking his next question. "Are you in love with Spike?"

"No, I don't love Spike. Why would you ask me that? I have never been in love with Spike."

Then why, why didn't you kill him? You've had all these chances to end his sorry existence and you didn't."

"I can't kill him Angel. I just couldn't. I have wanted to time after time but I didn't and now he has a soul. He is trying." "Spike is only out for Spike and he always will be. Even before he went and got his soul and I know what the others think and I don't believe for one minute he got it for you I think it's just what he ended up with."

I couldn't kill him. I can't. Don't you understand? He's yours. He's part of you. I can't kill him anymore than I can kill you."

"But you did kill me Buffy. Remember, you sent me to Hell."

The moment he said it he wanted to take it back. He had let his anger and frustration get the best of him and he reached for her as she stumbled to her feet. He rose beside her grabbing her arm. "I'm sorry Buffy. I didn't mean that."

She pulled free and turned away from him trying to hide the tears sliding down her cheeks. She wiped at them before turning to face him again. "Yes, I killed you. I can't ever take that back. You don't know how many times I wished I had done things differently. I wish I had gone instead of you."

He moved to her taking her in his arms again. "No, you did what you had to. There wasn't any other choice. God Buffy, I'm just going to hurt you again. All I have ever done is hurt you and I have never wanted to. I don't know Buffy, I just don't know."

She pulled away from him stepping back to look into his face. "Angel, if you have decided that this is a mistake and you don't want to be with me then tell me now." He looked down before meeting her gaze. "I just don't want to hurt you anymore. I still can't give you everything you need and deserve."

She shook her head sadly. "Stop making my decisions for me. I'm 22 years old. I know you're going to tell me you've lived a long time and you've seen a lot of things but you haven't lived. You've existed, just like I have. I told you when you left I was never going to change. I still love you, the only person I have ever loved with all my heart and all my soul is you. But if you don't want me and you don't want us then I need you to tell me now."

He looked at her face and started to speak. "Buffy….."

"Dad?" Connor stood in the doorway taking in the sight of Buffy's tear stained face and his father's pained one. "I'm sorry for interrupting but we have a problem and Wesley said to get you. That demon they got the other night wasn't the only one."

Angel looked at Buffy who was staring at Connor. She moved forward once again wiping at her face.

"Okay, duty calls. We're on it." She went to the stairs and headed up. Connor moved behind her turning back to look at Angel. "Are you coming?"

Gunn and Connor moved quietly through the sewers behind Buffy and Faith while Angel trailed behind them. The dark haired woman had taken one look at her sister Slayer's face before shooting Angel a thunderous look and following after her. Willow had handed Gunn a wrapped package and Connor had picked up the large spray container. "Are you sure this is going to work, the black man had asked. He had been met by the dual frowns of Willow and Fred. "Of course, the red head had explained, "the sulfur and light will stun them then you slash an opening in their forms." Fred continued, "The ammonia will disintegrate them. Mold needs the dampness to live and what kills mold but ammonia." He held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, remind me never to question two brainy women."

The large warehouse had been abandoned many years before and its ample room allowed the group of Grangkor demons staying there to move about through the tunnels at will. They reached the sewer entrance of the warehouse and Angel moved in front of them to lead the way. He looked down at Buffy. "I need to lead in case one of them attacks without warning. I don't want anything to happen to anyone and I'm the one who doesn't need to breathe." She nodded in agreement but would not meet his gaze so he kissed the top of her head quickly. "Be careful, he whispered before heading through the door. A roar was heard immediately and the others rushed in after him. Gunn moved forward lighting the packet and tossing it in the direction of the demons. The quick flashes of light and the substance contained within immobilized their systems and the group moved quickly to dispatch each one. Connor moved in behind Faith and Buffy as they slashed each one and then he sprayed them with ammonia from the canister. The demons began to melt as the spray covered them and the floor was soon covered with the same green goo that had covered Spike a few days before. The group stepped back for a moment surveying their work before heading back into the sewers. Angel stopped Buffy while nodding the others on and they moved away down the tunnel leaving the two of them alone. He stepped back away from her for a moment and she froze looking around her. She realized where they were and she fled leaving him standing there. She caught up to the others quickly tears streaming down her face as she passed them.

Faith hurried behind her. "Buffy wait a minute." Gunn followed her quickly while Connor stood there before heading back to his father. He found him standing where she left him. "What happened, he asked, "why is she upset?"

Angel made to move around him. "Buffy and I are complicated. I don't expect you to understand."

Connor stood in his way. "Then make me understand. I know you are supposed to love her and yet she's running away and she's crying. She was crying downstairs when I came to get you both." He paused for a moment. "Is this about Spike? Is this because you're jealous of her and Spike?"

"I'm not jealous of Spike. This isn't any of your business."

"That's where your wrong, Dad. I'm making this my business. I told you I wouldn't let anyone hurt Buffy again. If you love her and she loves you then what is the problem? You don't have to worry about the curse anymore. Is this about Angelus, because he came out again? I was there Dad. I heard him. He isn't going to hurt her. You're the one doing that."

Angel faced him angrily. "This isn't about Angelus and if you want to know he's yelling at me just like you are right now. He's telling me to go after her and stop screwing up." He stopped before adding quietly. "He's afraid of losing her again."

Connor studied his face. "And how do you feel, Dad? Are you afraid of losing her?"

"I'm terrified."

"Then tell her that. Whatever it is that is keeping you apart then fix it. This is the love of your life, remember? You are the one who told me you didn't want to go on without her. You wanted me to kill you if she didn't wake up. You need to go to her, talk to her. We have everything worked out but you have to want her first."

"Of course I want her. I have always wanted her. That was the problem. I wanted her too damn much and it could get everyone killed. Angelus didn't want to kill her, not at first. He wanted to turn her. After he realized she was too strong for him then he wanted to just end the world. He thought if he couldn't have her then he would just destroy everything. After I came back from Hell he was there always just under the surface. Every time she was near me he was there always pushing. He needs her as much as I do."

Connor moved closer to his father. "Do you still think he wants to hurt her? Is that what you are so scared of?"

Angel shook his head. "No, he doesn't want her hurt. He would protect her with my life and his very existence." He looked at his son. "What do you mean by `we have everything worked out'?"

Connor smiled. "You will just have to trust us. Are you ready to go back?" He looked at Angel's face. "Dad, what's wrong?"

Angel moved around him running down the tunnel. "It's Buffy."

Cordelia stood up in the middle of her living room as if frozen. Giles came from the kitchen just as she began to shake. He held her up as Xander came running into the room. She threw her head back and started to scream. "Buffy, oh please no, Buffy." She started to sink to the floor but they caught her helping her to the couch. A bright light flowed around her and she shook under the weight of it as Xander tried to hold her up. She began to sob uncontrollably her shoulders heaving under the stress. She raised her head and opened her white eyes. She struggled to rise but he tried to stop her. "We have to go, she sobbed. "I have to get to Buffy."

"I'll call the hotel, offered Giles. "You can talk to her."

"No, she rose to her feet, "I have to go to her. I have to tell her. Please take me to Buffy."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 36

Buffy had gone upstairs when Faith reached the hotel. She followed her into the bedroom she had been sharing with Angel. "Are you okay, B?"

Buffy looked at her through sad eyes. "I just want to take a shower and get this junk off me. I need to be alone for a while Faith."

"Okay, but if you need me I'll be in my room. I'm going to take a shower too."

Buffy moved to the bathroom stepping into the shower. She washed quickly and dressed before moving around the room throwing her things in her bag. Her eyes fell on the pad lying on the dresser and she picked it up. She scribbled her note quickly and left it on the dresser before picking up her bag. She raised her pant leg inspecting the area. One folded piece of gauze later she was headed down the stairs. Lorne met her at the bottom. "Is this what you really want? Because honey I don't believe it is."

She shook her head. "No, but it's what he wants. I just want to go before he gets back. Thank you for everything. I know you tried. I left him a note upstairs. I thought it was time one of us actually said goodbye." She set her bag down and raised her hand to show him her ring. She started to pull it off. "I know you were the one he showed our rings to first. Would you see that he gets this?"

He reached for her hand halting her movement. "No, I won't. That is yours and it will always be yours. You can't expect me to return it to him." He studied her face. "Why do I feel if I let you leave now I will never see you again? This terrifies me sugar. Please don't go. You need to wait for him to get back."

She patted his arm. "Lorne, did you ever consider maybe he's giving me enough time to be gone before he gets back? Angel isn't very good at saying goodbye. In all the times he's left me we have never said goodbye. I'm telling you Lorne. Tell everyone here I said thank you and goodbye."

He hugged her tightly not bothering to stop the tears from rolling down his green cheeks. "Please baby doll, I wish you would reconsider. You need to wait for him."

Cordelia ran through the front doors of the hotel tripping on the stairs as she entered. She rose and shouted, "Buffy, Buffy, where are you?" "I'm right here Cordelia, she answered moving from Lorne's arms. What is it?"

The blind seer tried to face her. "You can't leave. You have to stay, you can't go."

"Yes, I do have to leave, Buffy frowned. "There isn't anything for me here. There never will be. I would think you would be happy I'm leaving and I promise you I won't be coming back."

Cordelia tried to move closer listening for the sound of her voice. She put her hands out in front of her flinching when Xander took her arm. He looked from her to Buffy. "Something happened. I think she had one of her visions. She started crying, saying she had to get here to you."

The dark haired woman tugged at his arm. "Take me to her, please, Buffy, please. You can't leave. You won't survive and neither will he. You know you won't survive."

The small blonde froze at the seer's words. She steeled her emotions as she spoke, "Cordelia, Angel and I have been apart for a while now. He will go on with his life and I will go on with mine. That's the way he wants it."

"No, the other woman shouted, "That isn't true, you know it isn't." She reached for her grabbing her arm as the others entered the lobby from the kitchen and Faith came down the stairs. She went to the two women. "What is going on?"

Cordelia didn't answer but continued to hold on to Buffy's arm. She tried hard to focus on her; her other hand reached out for her face. Buffy was motionless as Cordelia gently touched her cheek. She smiled at her sadly. "You have been crying. I'm so sorry you're hurting. You know, she whispered to her, "you have always known and you're still leaving." She raised her voice. "Show them, show Faith your ankle."

Buffy stepped back. "There isn't anything wrong with my ankle."

Cordelia moved closer. "There is, we both know there is. I saw it, in my vision, I saw it. You had it done. You remembered everything after Willow did the mind swipe on you and the others. She fixed it and everything came back, you remembered everything. Even what you were supposed to forget, you remembered. You were in pain, it was so real and I felt it. I never before thought about your pain, all these years you have hurt so much and it's never stopped, has it? That night your heart gave up, you wanted to be dead again. I saw everything you did."

Buffy blinked back the tears as she looked at Cordelia's face and shining white eyes. She remembered all too well that night. The memories had come rushing over her and she felt like she was drowning. At that moment every painful moment in her young life had risen up again and then she saw herself in L.A. It was the day after Thanksgiving, she and Angel, the sunlight, the kiss, the table, eating chocolate, peanut butter and ice cream in his bed, they made love over and over and then it was gone. He had told her what he had to do and she had answered it wasn't enough time. She promised she would never forget. In those few seconds she had remembered and then she was lost. She felt someone pulling on her hand and she focused again on Cordelia. The blind woman tugged on her hand holding it firmly in both of her own.

"Buffy, I am so sorry. That night you got the tattoo and no one knew. It's bleeding isn't it? I know it is. It will bleed until you can't bleed anymore." Her voice rose as she cried; the tears choking as she tried to force the words out. "Your life is slipping away while we are standing here and you know it. It isn't an ordinary tattoo. It is linked to your soul. When your heart finally shatters, when you've no hope left, it bleeds." Faith looked down at Buffy's feet detecting a dark spot forming on the inside of her pants leg. Dawn saw it too and clutched Giles arm. "Do something, she begged, "can't you do something?" They all turned again to Cordelia who was still holding on to Buffy. She leaned in closer. "I remember too now; the day no one but Angel was supposed to. I remember you being here. Doyle had told me about it but I didn't really care. Angel was human and he was so excited and scared. The two of you were together and all I was worried about was how it all affected me. I didn't care about you, about your feelings. I am so sorry Spike hurt you. I am so sorry I let my jealousy cloud my purpose for being here. I'm not staying in Los Angeles Buffy. Xander has offered to let me go back to Sunnydale with him. I have to learn how to live like a blind person now and he's going to help me. You have to stay with Angel. The two of you love each other so much. He won't survive without you. I have seen it, Buffy. I've seen your end." She took a deep breath before continuing, "You were there, Angel was there, and even though you were gone we put him with you. His ashes, we put them in your casket. He was still buried with you. Even in death you are together."

A loud roar came from the hallway and everyone turned as Angel ran into the lobby followed by Connor. He reached for Buffy grabbing her away from Cordelia and setting her on the front desk. The smell of her blood was overpowering and he shook his head before ripping away her pants leg. The tattooed heart was throbbing and with every pulse another drop of blood oozed from it. The others looked shocked as he pulled off her shoe and blood stained sock causing the blood soaked gauze to fall to the floor. He wrapped his arms around her waist before laying his head in her lap. "Don't go, he whispered, please don't go. None of this matters without you. We can work everything out. Whatever we have to do, I'll do it, just don't walk away from me, not this time."

She raised her hands to his head but stopped short of burying them in his hair. "You are the one who turned away from me. Yes, I ran, but I looked around and there we were standing in the sewer again. You broke up with me in a sewer, remember, and then again when I was here that Thanksgiving, we talked again, in the sewer. Don't you remember, we said we couldn't have a future, that nothing had changed, the best case scenario, remember Angel? Today after we killed those demons you looked at me and then you turned away. I was not going to give you the opportunity to break my heart in a damn sewer, again."

The others watched as the tattoo began to beat harder causing the blood to flow in a trickle. Angel raised his head in panic as he placed his hand over the heart trying to stop the dripping flow. "Please Buffy; I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose us, not again."

She placed her hands on his head stroking his face and neck. "All I ever wanted was you. It didn't matter how we had to do it or what we had to go through. It has always been you." She looked down at his hand covering her ankle. "I'm sorry I disappointed you. I'm sorry I'm not the Buffy you loved any longer. I lost her somewhere and I've never found her again."

He shook his head. "No she isn't lost, she's right here in front of me. She's just hurt for so long and she doesn't want to do it anymore. She doesn't have to apologize to me either, not for anything. I am not disappointed in you, I'm angry with myself for letting my jealousy cloud my senses." He rose to face her looking into her eyes. "I can never let you go; I can never give you up." He paused as her eyes grew wide. "That's right Buffy. We can't give you up. I know he loves you as much as I do and you know something I don't feel so bad about that anymore. It means that no matter what happens I know he will protect you with everything he has." He smiled up at her. "He's very pissed at me right now, you know that don't you? Angelus and Connor made me face some things I didn't want to. I've made all our decisions for the both of us because I thought I was doing what was best for you. I didn't talk to you about our choices and I've let too many things stand in the way of our being together and I'm not doing it anymore. It's time you and I came first. We've been so busy trying to help everyone else that you have suffered so much and I'm not doing much better. I don't want to do this anymore if I can't have you with me." He looked down at her ankle and his bloody hand. "You're going to have to stop bleeding all over me. You know how hard this is to control with you like this."

"I don't know how to stop it. When it started bleeding I just knew it was the end."

"It's not the end, Buffy. We're just beginning to have what we always wanted. We will never end, don't you know that." He leaned in closer to her ankle inspecting it before licking the throbbing heart. He felt his face change but he continued to clean it and the area around it until it had stopped bleeding and the throbbing had ceased. He kissed the area lovingly and watched as it began to fade until no trace of the tattoo remained. He lifted his head to look at her. "It's gone."

She held out her arms and he came to her willingly as she caressed his ridged face until he changed. She kissed him gently before burying her face in his broad chest. Dawn looked at Faith who smiled at her through teary eyes. Xander squeezed Cordelia's hand. "They are going to be okay." The blind woman smiled through her own tears as he helped her turn to go. Buffy looked at her. "Cordelia, wait." She moved to jump from the desk but Angel held her fast. She held tightly to his hand while she spoke, "I don't want you to think you have to leave your home because of me. I'm not trying to take your place here. They still need you."

The former seer smiled. "No, they don't and I don't belong here any longer. My vision of the two of you was my last one. I'm moving forward or some may say backward but I'm going to have to find my own way. I would still like to help some way just not here. Is there an opening in the Scoobies by any chance?" Buffy looked to Giles and Willow before letting her gaze rest on Xander. Giles and Willow smiled while Xander waited for her decision. "Your spot has always been open Cordelia. We never replaced you." She turned back to Angel and he took her in his arms holding her tightly. She returned his hug before mumbling against his chest. "Angel, we still have a problem. You are needed here and I am needed in Sunnydale."

Faith stepped forward nervously. "Actually B we might have something worked out there if you and big guy there will agree." She paused for a moment but Willow nodded giving her encouragement. "We think you should stay here with him. I can go to Sunnydale and take over your slaying. I'm out now and I need to get to work. It's time you took a break and I can help you do that. I'm not saying I can replace you or anything and you can always help Angel's gang here and we aren't that far apart if something big comes up." She looked again to Willow who continued, "This is the plan Buffy. Faith can stay at the house if she wants and its okay with you. If Dawn wants to come back to finish her school year then we will be there for her. Spike is coming back with us so he can help too." She looked over at Xander who was still standing with Cordelia. "Xander is part of us still if he wants to be and all of us can help Cordelia learn to adapt." She added quickly, "But it's your decision. We aren't trying to replace you or anything. We just want the two of you to be happy, finally. The way you both deserve."

Buffy looked at her sister standing with Connor. "Is this what you want Dawn? I can't just desert you. You're my little sister, my family."

"You won't be deserting me. I'm going to go back with the others and finish the semester. It's only a couple of months. Then I think I might like to come back and go to school here in L.A. and stay with you and Angel if it is fine with him. I want to learn from Fred and Wesley and…." she stole a quick look at Connor, "spend time with everyone else." She looked around at all of them in the lobby. "I would love to have both of you here, said Fred. Lorne patted the brunette on her shoulder. "And I could get used to seeing you kick Gunn's behind on a regular basis and that pretty face would be a welcome sight around here too." He looked at Angel. "Not that you aren't pretty Angelcakes she is just prettier." Gunn laughed nervously while eyeing Angel. "Don't look at me. I wanted everyone to stay." She jumped down from the desk and went to Wesley. "Thank you for everything." She hugged his neck before kissing his cheek. "I owe you for all of this." He shook his head. "No, I owed you and him. Just be happy." She stepped back feeling a pair of strong arms around her waist and a familiar kiss at her temple. She turned her head to smile at him. Angel grinned at her before placing a quick kiss on her lips. "I think they solved our problem. It's your decision now. All you have to do is agree."

She looked around at all of them before turning back to him. "I agree."

The End

Challenge specifics

Set after Angel season three finale (I can't remember what it's called) (It was called Deep Down.)

When Wesley rescues Angel from the box, he is unconscious and starved to death. He brings him back to the A-Team (including Cordelia, who never ascended) and they discover when Angel wakes he has no memory of who he is, what he is, or where he is. Desperate to have Angel back Wesley begs Buffy to come and help.

MUSTS: Buffy dropping everything to come and help Buffy getting a sobbing call from Cordelia at three a m Wesley hugging Buffy Buffy commenting on Cordelia's hair Faith being released from jail Buffy helping Angel to re-gain his memory Spike coming with Buffy (back-up) Connor trying to kill Buffy A big show-down between Angel and Connor Buffy & Angel getting back together Smut! Angle going to see Lorne

AT LEAST FIVE: Connor killing Justine Buffy & Faith threatening Connor Angelus popping up References to either Batman or Superman Cordelia telling Buffy a personal secret about Angel Spike/Faith getting together The Oracles giving a prophecy Angel asking about Sunnydale Someone saying "You were good kid, real good, but as long as I'm around you'll always be second best see?" Connor working for Wolfram and Hart Song "Bittersweet Symphony"- The Verve A sonnet either by Shakespeare or Elizabeth Barrett Browning

please feed Briony

B/Aus fic archive